34 Comments
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bobbert's avatar

Where you been?

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bobbert's avatar

Schroedinger's Tea and Crumpets

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bobbert's avatar

Oh, I really hated that one. I never understood why that didn't lead to a wave of revenge killings in the Northeast.

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bobbert's avatar

Paranoia.

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bobbert's avatar

Today, I was at the funeral for a relative who had a catastrophic stroke about seven years ago. She was completely immobile, and mostly uncommunicative, for seven years.

The priest managed to hit all three of your bullet points.

I managed not to punch anyone.

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bobbert's avatar

At what, 60 per second?

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Dashboard Buddha's avatar

With a little practice, sure.

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Dashboard Buddha's avatar

No. My dogs are making too much of a racket for me to focus on the crumpet recipe.

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Incoming Ham's avatar

Really - think of the gun. The poor gun. How do you think it feels?

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chascates's avatar

And the 'Deleted Comments' post will not be far behind . . .

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Dylan Black's avatar

You really are an awful piece of shit, aren't you? Begone, idiot.

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JustPixelz: IV%'er's avatar

In your hypothetical, I can shoot the intruder OR offer tea & crumpets. But if I have a gun, can I force the intruder to eat tea and crumpets? Even <i>herbal tea</i> which intruders are known to dislike?<br /><br /><br />True story. When I was younger, I was home one hot summer evening when a young man climbed in through an open window. What a surprise! I said \"what are doing?\" He said \"looking for a friend\". I said \"get out\". And he left. No shooting. No tea and crumpets either. So I guess that's an unhappy ending.<br /><br /><br />Another true story. I was home with my family one night when there was frantic knocking on the front door. As I got closer, the door burst open and a young woman ran it. It turns out she was being followed by a suspicious man and ran to our house for safety. Again, no shooting! Though I think we gave her something to eat and drink (tea and crumpets, perhaps!) then drove her home.

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Gherkins d'Resistance's avatar

Apparently recognizing that guns actually DO kill people isn't half the battle, after all.

Gun lovers can move the goalposts whenever they want, ITS IN THE CONSTATUTON.

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Gherkins d'Resistance's avatar

Doesn't anyone bother to ask how The Stuff feels? I bet his his flat screen teevee feels pretty safe and protected.

Besides, his Stuff would never sneak out late at night. You can't just buy loyalty like that.

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Gherkins d'Resistance's avatar

Let's start with "ignoring most of an Amendment" and add "powerful gun lobby," as a jumping off point.

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Gherkins d'Resistance's avatar

Good thing Santa IS white, or else that annual intruder would sooo killed for making such a clatter.

I guess it also helps that he's completely imaginary, just like "well-trained militias" are.

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