We're back in the Wonkette Bunker O'Love, the underground safe room on our Idaho compound that we reserve for stories about guns and the wonderful people who fondle them.
Today, I was at the funeral for a relative who had a catastrophic stroke about seven years ago. She was completely immobile, and mostly uncommunicative, for seven years.
The priest managed to hit all three of your bullet points.
In your hypothetical, I can shoot the intruder OR offer tea & crumpets. But if I have a gun, can I force the intruder to eat tea and crumpets? Even <i>herbal tea</i> which intruders are known to dislike?<br /><br /><br />True story. When I was younger, I was home one hot summer evening when a young man climbed in through an open window. What a surprise! I said \"what are doing?\" He said \"looking for a friend\". I said \"get out\". And he left. No shooting. No tea and crumpets either. So I guess that&#039;s an unhappy ending.<br /><br /><br />Another true story. I was home with my family one night when there was frantic knocking on the front door. As I got closer, the door burst open and a young woman ran it. It turns out she was being followed by a suspicious man and ran to our house for safety. Again, no shooting! Though I think we gave her something to eat and drink (tea and crumpets, perhaps!) then drove her home.
Where you been?
Schroedinger&#039;s Tea and Crumpets
Oh, I really hated that one. I never understood why that didn&#039;t lead to a wave of revenge killings in the Northeast.
Paranoia.
Today, I was at the funeral for a relative who had a catastrophic stroke about seven years ago. She was completely immobile, and mostly uncommunicative, for seven years.
The priest managed to hit all three of your bullet points.
I managed not to punch anyone.
At what, 60 per second?
With a little practice, sure.
No. My dogs are making too much of a racket for me to focus on the crumpet recipe.
Really - think of the gun. The poor gun. How do you think it feels?
And the &#039;Deleted Comments&#039; post will not be far behind . . .
You really are an awful piece of shit, aren&#039;t you? Begone, idiot.
In your hypothetical, I can shoot the intruder OR offer tea & crumpets. But if I have a gun, can I force the intruder to eat tea and crumpets? Even <i>herbal tea</i> which intruders are known to dislike?<br /><br /><br />True story. When I was younger, I was home one hot summer evening when a young man climbed in through an open window. What a surprise! I said \"what are doing?\" He said \"looking for a friend\". I said \"get out\". And he left. No shooting. No tea and crumpets either. So I guess that&#039;s an unhappy ending.<br /><br /><br />Another true story. I was home with my family one night when there was frantic knocking on the front door. As I got closer, the door burst open and a young woman ran it. It turns out she was being followed by a suspicious man and ran to our house for safety. Again, no shooting! Though I think we gave her something to eat and drink (tea and crumpets, perhaps!) then drove her home.
Apparently recognizing that guns actually DO kill people isn&#039;t half the battle, after all.
Gun lovers can move the goalposts whenever they want, ITS IN THE CONSTATUTON.
Doesn&#039;t anyone bother to ask how The Stuff feels? I bet his his flat screen teevee feels pretty safe and protected.
Besides, his Stuff would never sneak out late at night. You can&#039;t just buy loyalty like that.
Let&#039;s start with &quot;ignoring most of an Amendment&quot; and add &quot;powerful gun lobby,&quot; as a jumping off point.
Good thing Santa IS white, or else that annual intruder would sooo killed for making such a clatter.
I guess it also helps that he&#039;s completely imaginary, just like &quot;well-trained militias&quot; are.