488 Comments
User's avatar
Kwami Ishmael's avatar

Oddly enough, I was just bitten by a black snake (a king snake, really) that I was trying to shoo out of the road. He balled up, reared up, bit me after several attempts on both our parts, and then another guy came along, so the snake took off under his car, and right up into the engine. Eventually we got him out with some tongs and an old cane, and potholders. Ungrateful bastards, but gotta love 'em.

larry gassan's avatar

Black Mambas would like a word here.

It's a reflecting Jen!'s avatar

Snake oil sales man has become actual snake handler.

Who woulda thought?

Also, the "expert" saying to go at them like a bowl full of spaghetti is probably not a real expert, the press.

I mean.

Littorally Speaking's avatar

Statistically, most of the people treated for venomous snake bite are males aged from late teens to late twenties who were either trying to catch the animal or kill it, and were under the influence of alcohol at the time.

Kay Ducky's avatar

We labotomized the wrong Kennedy.

Littorally Speaking's avatar

Think the worm did it already.

Kay Ducky's avatar

Sadly, it only made him an idiot, not an invalid.

Ryp's avatar

Cut Bobby some slack, he’s new to picking up live animals.

Susan Niemann's avatar

"This has been a post about science and nature."

😂😂😂😂😂😂

And this is exactly why I come to Wonkette.

The learning opportunities are endless.

Mx.le Maerin's Luxury Comedy's avatar

Anybody who's seen more than two-three true crime shows knows that the ones who like to keep penis souvenirs are the TRULY depraved amongst serial killers.

Littorally Speaking's avatar

Whale head was kind of a giveaway also.

Cerberus Bar and Grill's avatar

How the hell Cheryl is still with him I do not know. jfc.

Littorally Speaking's avatar

Either as crazy as he is, or not so keen to give up a lifestyle she wouldn’t have without him, like Melania.

It's a reflecting Jen!'s avatar

They gettin' some mad free stuff thanks to the taxpayers right now. Luxury cars and air travel and vacations and everything

Zyxomma's avatar

Ta, Evan, for more proof (as if we needed it!) that Bobby Brainworm is a fucking idiot.

daniellescherer's avatar

So he's abusing animals

David Maceira's avatar

Can't say I blame the snakes for biting that moron. TBO if I were in the middle of some sexy slithering time and got interrupted by that RFK Jr. Jerkwad I'd be pissed too!

On another note. Did the snakes survive???

Alternative Dog's avatar

𝘖𝘯𝘦 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘴𝘱𝘰𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘰, 𝘢 𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘥 𝘉𝘳𝘶𝘤𝘦 𝘐𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘥, 𝘨𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘙𝘍𝘒 𝘑𝘳. 𝘢 9.6 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 10.

A snake expert named Ireland. Irony is not dead.

Major Is My Spirit Animal's avatar

Hence his "expert" ranking - no experience necessary.

As a kid I used to pick up non-poisonous snakes and the method is to grab them just behind the head so they don't turn and bite you.

Actual rating - 1

Sallyfemina's avatar

Yeah, I played with garter snakes all the time as a kid, and we were taught to treat them with respect. And not bother them when they're doin' it.

And this was in a place that has honest to gosh rattlesnakes. I mean, like in the field across from my house, even in suburbia.

Major Is My Spirit Animal's avatar

Same here except they would show up in the yard.

Sallyfemina's avatar

Only happened once. Dad cut its head off with a sharp shovel, and I think the land owners finally just poisoned the hell out of them.

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

What it it with this idiot that he thinks every living thing on this planet was put here for his amusement?

Major Is My Spirit Animal's avatar

Inbred and entitled sociopathy.

marcus816's avatar

I love snakes! RFK,Jr? Wouldn’t piss on him if he was on fire.

hillary's left one's avatar

i understand that’s an idiom, and from the part of the country I’m from, even, but you know what? I’d piss on him even if he wasn’t on fire.

marcus816's avatar

“I would piss on him unless he was on fire,” doesn’t roll off the tongue the same way, but I support the message.

Wookiee Monster's avatar

“Give snakes a wide berth and admire them from a distance,”

That’s excellent advice for dealing with any wild animals. That’s something Steve Irwin should have taught us.

Seriously, WTF is wrong with Bobby Brain Worm?