542 Comments
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Miss Grundy's avatar

I can tell you when I started my Mediterranean diet that my cardiovascular specialist wanted me to undertake, it wasn't cheap. You can't eat frozen entrees because those are chock-full of sodium, so eating healthy is actually costing more right now when you look at the cost of poultry, meat, fish, and pork in the supermarket along with the cost of fresh vegetables and fresh fruit.

Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

I know ... KKKaroline Leavitt's Sorority Tour®!!

Sk8erChoi's avatar

You could make a whole Pluto TV channel of wealthy people, past and present, with their own shows shaming you for not being smart enough with your money but also blissfully unaware of reality:

Suze Orman: 25% of Americans have to delay their retirement because they buy freshly baked muffins instead of the day-old reduced to clear muffins.

Martha Stewart: You can save and nourish with homemade Sugo di Pomodoro, using tomatoes grown on the terrace of your weekend pied-à-terre, or other logement secondaire.

Jamie Oliver's 17 second meals: save time and money! Make restaurant worthy meals at home with three ingredients or less, all smashed, spanked, and cracked up to perfection. Coming up next, a traditional Rastafarian Italian fusion cuisine freshly culturally appropriated just for you!

Lumpy Tapioca's avatar

I'm getting better at gathering kindling, making fire, and catching sparrows,

but have you seen what a halfway decent used curtain rod is going for these days?

tehbaddr's avatar

I've got some curtain rods. Fresh, never used, but I demand a premium price!

Our_Man_In_Redneckistan's avatar

Find a construction site. Steal a piece of rebar. You’ll be set for life.

Lumpy Tapioca's avatar

Maybe for pigeons or crows, or the occasional blackbird,

but a well prepared sparrow or wren requires a most delicate touch.

Mysterysurf's avatar

Sky Saxon, frontman for The Seeds, was born on this day in 1937. Here's the band on an episode of The Mothers-In-Law miming to their song "Pushin' Too Hard". It's gassy!:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bc4JQRYWdgs

And here they are with Sky's song "Can't Seem To Make You Mine":

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fSqMaqKs9Eg

Lumpy Tapioca's avatar

Can't have The Ramones without The Seeds.

Lance Thrustwell's avatar

Eat cheap and healthy? Not that hard... IF you can get to a quality grocery on the regular. If so, principles:

1. Eat mostly vegetarian. Fresh produce isn't too expensive.

2. For carbs, do mostly potatoes and rice. Pasta for a treat.

3. For meat, buy pork and chicken on sale. If it's too high, just skip it and wait for the next sale.

4. Buy soy sauce and cooking oil in the gallon jugs.

Save you some money, tell u whut.

EDIT: Beans! I always forget beans. By 'em dry in big bags. Soak 'em overnight, cook the next day.

Bupkus231's avatar

"IF you can get to a qualty grocery on the regular...."

Too many Americans live in "food deserts" and have to buy their food from dollar stores ( most of which stock less than "quality" ingrediants

Our_Man_In_Redneckistan's avatar

It’s wild how much ‘60s Harlem and the modern Midwest have in common.

Lance Thrustwell's avatar

Yep. It's a big 'if.'

CzechJournalists's avatar

you can get plenty of free salmon just following a bear around, they'll even strip off the skin for you, leaving the tasty flesh.

Pope Scipio Newburyporticus's avatar

Pork is the way to go for cheap protein. I can get two chops for three bucks or less. I'll do that when money's tight. Pork, potato, maybe some broccoli or peas and some kind of bread. I bet I can do that for less than $8 for 2 people. Definitely do that for less than $16 for 4 people.

tehbaddr's avatar

The other white meat! Has cloven hooves!

tehbaddr's avatar

Only the sirloin, leg, and rib meat.

Dirty Work's avatar

I'd inquire if I come off angry but that in itself could be construed as pissed-off.

Bupkus231's avatar

That "receipt" is nothing but a joke - showing purchases of 1 egg, 21₵ of olive oil, etc. - No one can buy just those amounts, so the idea that this represents a meal that anyone can make is so misleading as to be comical. I just wonder how much $8.99 worth of salmon represents - and how that's supposed to feed a family of four.

I posted this before I read the piece, just based on that "receipt" in the lead picture. I guess all my words are just repeats of what was said in the piece.

CzechJournalists's avatar

i do so hate when it's time to restock a bottle of good olive oil. my food budget just blows up for the week (same with maple syrup).

Euripides Pants's avatar

Family of four cats.

Bagels of Doom's avatar

So, grandpa diapershits is gilding everything, MTV dropout transportation secretary does a fancy road trip show when gas is at eleventy bucks, and Kennedy family dropout RFK jr. is having a cooking show with food nobody can afford.

I'm just glad that people elected a corrupt billionaire to fix their kitchen table issues, and drain the swamp in DC.

Our_Man_In_Redneckistan's avatar

What exactly are we paying these people to do? This is fantasy baseball for assholes.

Bagels of Doom's avatar

Getting plastered under a taxidermy elk wearing a sombrero is what.

Bitter Scribe's avatar

Michael, the rapidly decompensating alcoholic who lives across the hall from me, is showing signs of life.

Backstory: On Tuesday, I found his gas bill in my mailbox by mistake. I put it on the floor outside his unit door, where it remained undisturbed through this morning. I was getting a bit worried.

But it's gone. And so is his SUV from his driveway.

Good. I had visions of him lying comatose or worse on the floor of his unit. At least he's out and about.

tehbaddr's avatar

Even if you never had the experience, you will know "that smell".

Bitter Scribe's avatar

I don't fucking WANT to know "that smell." I will happily go to my grave without knowing it. (And then 𝘮𝘺 smell will be someone else's problem.)

Marlon Rando's avatar

Ernie went too young, and Edie Adams was a knockout.

Marlon Rando's avatar

Speaking of food, what's the difference between snot and pea soup?

Most kids won't eat pea soup.

Cincinnatus's avatar

"... They think its candy, but it's not. They think its candy, but its snot."