We will begin this post by asking you a variation of the thing we always ask you, which is: "does it surprise you that a disproportionate amount of rich people are dicks?" And of course it doesn't, we're used to it by now and have more or less adjusted to the new status quo of plutocratic post-capitalist Amercia, so it's tough to really bother getting worked up about it at this point. But still, sometimes we get mathematical confirmation of exactly how selfish so many rich people really are, and it is worthy of specific commentary. For example, today we learned that rich people donate to charity at around half the rate of poor people:
I just attended my employee orientation day from my employer this week. I&#039;d say my <i>new</i> employer, but I&#039;ve been working there since July. Ah well, it was a day off the phones and I got a reusable shopping bag with the company emblem on it.
Anyway, one of the things our presenter pimped up was just how much our employer gives to charity...ain&#039;t we great, while showing slides of our charitable events. It was pretty hard to see what the cause even was unless you managed to peel back all of the corporate fanfare. &quot;Oh...this little get together is about athlete&#039;s foot. Ok!&quot; All I could think was fuck you you fucking whore. A lot of money our employer &quot;donates&quot; comes in the form of employee donations i.e. matching contributions. If you give us $5, we&#039;ll match it! OMG...look how generous Corprobank is! They donated umpty-thousand dollars to help end the heartbreak of athlete&#039;s foot! Don&#039;t get too excited though because half of that came from the employees themselves and they had to take a fucking personal day to attend the event.
If my company were at all sincere about helping babies or ending cancer and not at all in marketing and &quot;brand projection&quot; (the presenter talked a lot about our &quot;brand&quot; during the day. FML), we&#039;d give 50 large to some charity and say, look...here&#039;s $50,000 but keep on the downlow. Just keep helping those babies. God bless. I&#039;d like to see my employer take the money it spends on our quarterly recognition mutual masturbatory event and give it to marching babies. No can do...the charity thing is our selling bullshit to them outside the bank and the Mutual Masturbatory Event is the selling to them what works inside the bank.
Fuck the rich and double fuck any of the poor (or whatever passes for poor - middle class works) that think we should idolize the rich. You&#039;re one of the reasons these diseased fucks have so much money and power.
&quot;So long as they aren&#039;t banning everybody but the rich from taking advantage of them, these institutions mitigate some of the lousy in this country.&quot;
Ever try buying a ticket to the Metropolitan Opera?
That&#039;s pretty much how it should be done. I&#039;ll dial back some of my vitriol about how it all should be kept on the downlow. I have to admit that the rich folk like recognition just like the rest of us, and it&#039;s good to see some of them can give with a bit of class.
&quot;So, we&#039;re a bit concerned about young Ryan&#039;s ability to perform well here at Exclusive Private University. He&#039;s too short for the basketball team, and is SATs are in the 2nd quartile. So I&#039;m sure you understand why...&quot;
&quot;How about if I give $20m to the business school?&quot;
&quot;Let me look at Ryan&#039;s application again. Can&#039;t promise anything, but you might give him this beanie.&quot;
Poorer people give more because they know they&#039;re just one or two bad breaks away from being in the same position of need, or they were in that position once and want to help in the same way someone helped them. Most of the rich douchecanoes that occupy the upper echelon could never imagine themselves in a situation of needing a handout. And what they can&#039;t imagine doesn&#039;t exist.
&quot;Now that the stock market hit an all time high, everyone who&#039;s ever called Obama a socialist has to admit he&#039;s really bad at it.&quot; -Bill Maher
I just attended my employee orientation day from my employer this week. I&#039;d say my <i>new</i> employer, but I&#039;ve been working there since July. Ah well, it was a day off the phones and I got a reusable shopping bag with the company emblem on it.
Anyway, one of the things our presenter pimped up was just how much our employer gives to charity...ain&#039;t we great, while showing slides of our charitable events. It was pretty hard to see what the cause even was unless you managed to peel back all of the corporate fanfare. &quot;Oh...this little get together is about athlete&#039;s foot. Ok!&quot; All I could think was fuck you you fucking whore. A lot of money our employer &quot;donates&quot; comes in the form of employee donations i.e. matching contributions. If you give us $5, we&#039;ll match it! OMG...look how generous Corprobank is! They donated umpty-thousand dollars to help end the heartbreak of athlete&#039;s foot! Don&#039;t get too excited though because half of that came from the employees themselves and they had to take a fucking personal day to attend the event.
If my company were at all sincere about helping babies or ending cancer and not at all in marketing and &quot;brand projection&quot; (the presenter talked a lot about our &quot;brand&quot; during the day. FML), we&#039;d give 50 large to some charity and say, look...here&#039;s $50,000 but keep on the downlow. Just keep helping those babies. God bless. I&#039;d like to see my employer take the money it spends on our quarterly recognition mutual masturbatory event and give it to marching babies. No can do...the charity thing is our selling bullshit to them outside the bank and the Mutual Masturbatory Event is the selling to them what works inside the bank.
Fuck the rich and double fuck any of the poor (or whatever passes for poor - middle class works) that think we should idolize the rich. You&#039;re one of the reasons these diseased fucks have so much money and power.
One word.... garlic.
&quot;So long as they aren&#039;t banning everybody but the rich from taking advantage of them, these institutions mitigate some of the lousy in this country.&quot;
Ever try buying a ticket to the Metropolitan Opera?
That&#039;s pretty much how it should be done. I&#039;ll dial back some of my vitriol about how it all should be kept on the downlow. I have to admit that the rich folk like recognition just like the rest of us, and it&#039;s good to see some of them can give with a bit of class.
Obviously poor people and their throwing money around to charities can pay some more taxes in order to incentivize the job creators through tax cuts.
The rich are different from you and me. They&#039;re fucking chickenshits.
I still lean towards the amnesty thing. It correlates with why he wouldn&#039;t go back more than two years.
It&#039;s so much nicer for the poors if the rich can afford a 1995 Petrus prior to the trickling.
Best argument there is for eliminating the regressive charitable-giving tax break.
What? Let them eat cake? That cake&rsquo;s for my bichon frise, Princess. Let them buy their own damn cake.
&quot;So, we&#039;re a bit concerned about young Ryan&#039;s ability to perform well here at Exclusive Private University. He&#039;s too short for the basketball team, and is SATs are in the 2nd quartile. So I&#039;m sure you understand why...&quot;
&quot;How about if I give $20m to the business school?&quot;
&quot;Let me look at Ryan&#039;s application again. Can&#039;t promise anything, but you might give him this beanie.&quot;
Poorer people give more because they know they&#039;re just one or two bad breaks away from being in the same position of need, or they were in that position once and want to help in the same way someone helped them. Most of the rich douchecanoes that occupy the upper echelon could never imagine themselves in a situation of needing a handout. And what they can&#039;t imagine doesn&#039;t exist.
&quot;Now that the stock market hit an all time high, everyone who&#039;s ever called Obama a socialist has to admit he&#039;s really bad at it.&quot; -Bill Maher