Rick Perry's Weepy Sing-Along Hate Party Didn't Save America
Rick Perry and his gang of 30,000 sweaty, tearful homophobes spent Saturday singing and rolling around on the floor and eating pig anus sausages and nachos in a football stadium, so America is now "cleansed" according to its usual ritual standards. Was there *enough* hating of the gays and abortion doctors for God to finally save America? Probably not. Probably it would take a few million more fevered wingnuts and a few more Saturdays and tears and anus sausages for God to notice, but Rick Perry took his time and his Governor of Texas letterhead to get the circus rolling so everyone please mail their checks and votes to Rick Perry for his trouble.
From the Guardian:
It was billed as a day of prayer and fasting to halt America's national decline, and about 30,000 answered the call, flooding into Houston's Reliant stadium for a seven-hour marathon which blended Christian revivalism with hard-headed electoral campaigning.
There was plenty of prayer: some of the faithful stood with arms held high in supplication, others danced trancelike in the aisles and still more lay spreadeagled on the floor.
The fasting was less conspicuous: long queues formed at Prince's Hamburgers, Tejas Nachos, Five Star Dogs and other fast-food stands inside the cavernous arena.
The rally on Saturday marked another step towards the launch of Rick Perry's presidential campaign, giving the governor of Texas a national platform for the first time, with 250 reporters and camera crews covering it.
Did everyone enjoy the giant blasts of air conditioning? Free air conditioning if you hate gays! Know who doesn't get free air conditioning in Texas? Seniors and the disabled! Jesus likes to see those people sweat.
Rick Perry's Christianity in action, from the Houston Chronicle:
The participants at the prayer vigil organized by Gov. Rick Perry were treated to arctic blasts of the stuff Saturday, with Reliant Stadium's 12,000 tons of air-conditioning keeping temperatures nippy. But as historic temperatures scorch Texas for the third straight month with triple-digit misery, $650 million collected from Texas electricity consumers to assist poor elderly and disabled citizens with their utility bills sits idly in a state bank account.
Instead of serving its intended humanitarian purpose, the state's $650 million System Benefit Fund now serves a political one — permitting Perry and other Republican leaders to keep their "no new taxes" pledge.
In February, the Perry-appointed Public Utility Commission voted to reduce aid distributed from the fund, allowing its corpus to grow ever bigger. The fund, a big positive entry in the state comptroller's ledger of the state's fiscal condition, is now an essential tool in "balancing" the state's budget.
Perry/Heat Stroke For the Elderly and Disabled 2012. [ Guardian / Houston Chronicle ]
Teabaggers fasting. Oh that's a good one. Burgers, hot dogs and nachos. I guess we need to redefine "fasting" as "not eating ice cream, cake and/or candy."
God looked down at the event and saw the earnestness of his children's supplications, dancing trance-like in the aisles, lying spread-eagled on the floors, fasting on nachos and burgers, and suffering the in the 65-degree heat of the air-conditioned stadium, and was all, "meh."