Hello, everyone, it's your Reporter of the Homosexuals, risen from the ashes like the phoenix once again, here to bring you glad tidings of icky gayness and Rick Santorum. It's getting hard out there for a bigot, it is, as pretty much every euphemistic argument they've come up with in order to avoid clutching their pearls, screaming "God Hates Fags!" and retiring to their secret leathersex dungeons in frustration has been summarily pointed at, laughed at and peed on by reason, common sense and, increasingly, the American judicial system. What, oh what, does a wingnut have to do these days to convince normal, non-sexually stunted people that the Big Jeebs really, really does hate 'dem gaywads and is going to send them to a fiery hell for all eternity? Could, apropos of nothing, random household items like paper products or beer be the key to understanding? Let's watch some of Rick Santorum's suggestions!
"lingering a bit too long in the produce section, gazing lustily at succulent, slutty cucumbers" Does Rick enjoy his vegetables as much as Kortney?
No, no, you should watch. Because napkins can't be used as paper towels, and neither can socks, bedsheets, a woman's skirt, or the back of your hand be used to wipe liquid from your mouth. It that settled natural law now? Can we go back to yelling HOMO! at the McDonald's drive thru attendant when they hand us a stack of napkins? Cool, I'm going to sleep with a very self-contented look on my face.
that makes you a conservative , and therefore straight - you don't want to waste too much paper in a socialist fashion. Thusly you are a conservative. Booyaa!
I just need to throw out there that I referred to Santorum as "the frothy mix" to the big boss of my office today. She laughed. I'm a fan.
Has anyone ever mentioned to these mental midgets that "straight" men really don't go around thinking and talking about gay sex 24 hours a day? No matter how much they try to protest that they do it because it's really "icky" to them.
well you can call it a <strike>glass of beer </strike>presidential campaign but it&#039;s not a <strike>glass of beer </strike>presidential campaign it&#039;s a <strike>glass of water </strike>failed unemployed person.
Wellll, butter my biscuits, Martha!
I&#039;M at home, unemployed, and spend way, way too much time online. It&#039;s this or World of Warcraft.
&quot;lingering a bit too long in the produce section, gazing lustily at succulent, slutty cucumbers&quot; Does Rick enjoy his vegetables as much as Kortney?
No, no, you should watch. Because napkins can&#039;t be used as paper towels, and neither can socks, bedsheets, a woman&#039;s skirt, or the back of your hand be used to wipe liquid from your mouth. It that settled natural law now? Can we go back to yelling HOMO! at the McDonald&#039;s drive thru attendant when they hand us a stack of napkins? Cool, I&#039;m going to sleep with a very self-contented look on my face.
After I jerk off into this wad of paper towels.
Where on the straight-queer continuom does Viva land? It&#039;s not quite Sparkling! but it certainly isn&#039;t Brawny
that makes you a conservative , and therefore straight - you don&#039;t want to waste too much paper in a socialist fashion. Thusly you are a conservative. Booyaa!
And then beer goes in and piss comes out. I can&#039;t explain that, but there might be a connection.
Speaking of which, I work in a college town and on the wall near my office, someone left a used sanitary napkin...with wings!
Might this be evidence of hazing?
Best quote from the Think Progress site:
&quot;Jesus turned water to wine, so doesn&#039;t that mean marraige [sic] has many forms?&quot;
Well Rick...what do you think?
A POTATO IS NOT A TUXEDO! Can it be any clearer to you people?!
What the fuck kind of store caters to people who need both potatos and tuxedos on the same trip? Wait... Is the Vicar getting married?! <a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/..." target="_blank">" rel="nofollow noopener" title="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howabo...">http://www.telegraph.co.uk/...
I would rather pee in my own mouth this watch this ass.
I just need to throw out there that I referred to Santorum as &quot;the frothy mix&quot; to the big boss of my office today. She laughed. I&#039;m a fan.
I am so stealing that.
&quot;Santorum. Putting the *ick* in Rick&quot;.
Has anyone ever mentioned to these mental midgets that &quot;straight&quot; men really don&#039;t go around thinking and talking about gay sex 24 hours a day? No matter how much they try to protest that they do it because it&#039;s really &quot;icky&quot; to them.
yes rick marriage existed before the government but <i>so did beer!!!</i>
think about THAT rick.
well you can call it a <strike>glass of beer </strike>presidential campaign but it&#039;s not a <strike>glass of beer </strike>presidential campaign it&#039;s a <strike>glass of water </strike>failed unemployed person.