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Spurning Beer's avatar

<i>A Fistfull of Santorum</i>

TundraGrifter's avatar

How about "Worse health insurance than the Orc Army dental plan?"

WishingIWereThere's avatar

Epic battle it <i>won't</i> be. More BatShitWingNutz' misplaced gravitas.

I picture sweater vests & hoverounds vs tin-foyleez (& hoverounds?). Five minutes from the bell and they'll all be sweating and panting from overexertion, mopping their pasty foreheads. It'll be a damn funny five minutes though.

Spurning Beer's avatar

Or a trading pit:

I wager 400 quatloos on the newcomer in the sweater vest!

Spurning Beer's avatar

How about we go to Tampa and get a vendor's booth in the convention center to sell Skittles and Arizona Iced Tea? What could go wrong?

Shypixel's avatar

Is it un-American to hope for just one little bombing at a certain upcoming convention?

Fartknocker's avatar

I asked Orville Redenbacher to send me a case of popcorn because this GOP convention will be truly entertaining.

schmannity's avatar

Paul's delegates probably want some radical reforms like making contraception legal and equal rights for women. Oh, and separation of church and state.

Spurning Beer's avatar

Anyone will be allowed to sell anything and call it contraception. The market will sort out the fraud.

Women will have equal rights because it makes good business sense, and government should keep the hell out of it in the meanwhile.

Right, Ron?

Joshua Norton's avatar

<i>Speaking to reporters Friday at a conference, Mr. Santorum said his supporters are ready for “a fight”</i>

Oh, c'mon guys. If you treat a psychopath like Santorum with empathy you just create a more functional psycopath.

Spurning Beer's avatar

Alright, GOP, show up in Tampa in your <a href="http:\/\/groupieblog.files.wordpress...\/2008\/09\/platform-shoes.jpg\?w=497" target="_blank"> PLATFORM SHOES!</a>