Rick Scott Running, Probably Losing Race For Senate Majority Leader
Sad, because Majority Leader Bat Boy does have a ring to it.
Senate Republicans on Wednesday will elect a new majority leader to replace the most degenerate psychopath to ever hold the position, Mitch McConnell, who is retiring from the job after accomplishing his goal of slow-walking American democracy into the shitter.
Can the Republicans find an even more degenerate psychopath to replace the old turtle? Well, the three senators running to replace him are John Cornyn, John Thune, and Rick Scott. So that’s a resounding yes.
Scott is the current favorite of Donald Trump and the MAGA set, which makes sense since he comes from Florida. (State motto: Come visit all our degenerate psychopaths!) This weekend Scott earned the endorsement of such MAGA luminaries as Matt Schlapp and totally unwitting Russian spokesmouth Benny Johnson.
Best people, etc.
Apparently the outcry amongst the MAGA folks demanding Scott has gotten so loud that now, POLITICO Playbook reports, other senators are letting it be known that they do not appreciate the pressure campaign.
Of course they are doing it anonymously, the giant cowards, but we suppose it’s better than the lickspittles like Marco Rubio who are rushing to endorse Bat Boy. Though in Rubio’s case, he’s allegedly in line for a Cabinet post, so he’s just as likely sucking up to Donald Trump as he is genuinely supportive of his fellow Florida Man.
But the bulk of the Republican rank-and-file is not pleased. At all. We spoke with one senator who was aghast at the effort, as well as a GOP aide who said the campaign is “pissing off senators whose votes Rick needs” to win.
“Senators do not take kindly to having an army of social media trolls attack them,” the aide texted us last night.
You would think the senators would be used to getting browbeaten by internet trolls after nine years of our national Trump-soaked nightmare. And if they are not used to it, they better get there fast.
Still, POLITICO — and it pains us to say this — makes a good point that despite all outward signs of sycophancy, these sorts of pressure campaigns have in fact backfired on right-wing hardliners in the very recent past:
A similar campaign sought to browbeat House members into backing hard-right Rep. JIM JORDAN (R-Ohio) for speaker following KEVIN McCARTHY’s ouster last year. It ended up only emboldening a cadre of moderates to block Jordan, paving the way for MIKE JOHNSON’s dark-horse win (and that was a public ballot).
The majority leader vote is a private ballot, so the senators are free to be giant cowards as usual. This is unfortunate for a lot of reasons, not the least of which is that it deprives the rest of us of a replay of last year’s hilarious spectacle, when the MAGA wing of the House caused McCarthy to lose vote after vote after vote to keep his seat as speaker and we all got to watch live on television as the humiliation adhered to him like skunk spray.
The problem for Scott is that, in an inverse of McCarthy’s problems with his right flank, the more mainstream, establishment-type Republicans have never liked him very much. As chair of the NRSC in 2022, he took the blame for the GOP losing some races they thought were winnable, leaving Democrats in control of the chamber. Also he has been spotted recently hanging out with Laura Loomer, who possesses levels of crazy somehow above what the current iteration of the GOP has reached.
Remarkably, Trump is staying out of it for the moment and not making an endorsement, but who the hell knows, he’s about as predictable as a random number generator.
One Republican predicted that Scott, who got about 10 votes when he challenged McConnell for the job two years ago, has a ceiling of about a dozen or so this time around. Which means it will likely be either Cornyn or Thune. Both of them also suck donkey balls so it’s not much of a victory, but at least Rick Scott might feel some richly deserved disappointment.
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Can I please kick McConnell in his dick on the way out? Almost nobody has done more to damage to enable the slide into American fascism than that douche.
"Laura Loomer, who possesses levels of crazy somehow above what the current iteration of the GOP has reached."
She signed up to Bluesky yesterday.
She was banned immediately.