RINOS At Newsmax Starting Cable Channel To Attack Fox From Middle, With This One Weird Trick

Our good friends at Newsmax -- please click their linkies on the right side of your screen, to give Yr Wonket moneez -- are going to be starting up an exciting and important cable teevee channel in June that we will never ever watch. (Who are we kidding, we will probably find all sorts of fine stories there, as well as some vitamin supplements.) According to BusinessWeek, NewsmaxTV will be aimed at "conservatives who feel Fox has drifted too far to the right," which should at the very least make for some interesting Free Republic posts about the liberal RINOs at the new network. BusinessWeek devotes about 40 million words to fluffing Newsmax founder Chris Ruddy, who seems nice as long as you bar from your mind his central role in promoting the story that Vince Foster and a bunch of other people were murdered by Hillary Clinton so she could feed on their pineal glands. But now he's besties with the Clintons, so no harm, no foul.

But you know what, if they want to give Yr Wonkette sweet rightwing delusion dollars to advertise their new dumb network, we will take them because free enterprise. And then we will make fun of their anchors' dumb hair and dumber stories.

But how, you might ask, will NewsmaxTV make any money in a conservamedia landscape dominated by the Fox? This is actually kind of the interesting part of the article, if by "interesting" you mean "sort of appalling in what it says about US Amercia." See, unlike a lot of yr media empires, Newsmax doesn't finance its bloggy journalism-like activities by selling ads so much as it is an ad service that also has some news articles. Hence all the vitamin supplements and READ THIS IF YOU WANT TO LIVE stuff about how to survive the coming societal collapse by buying gold and survival seeds and freeze-dried foods (with U.S. dollars only). They'll be taking the same approach on their teevee network, making it a kind of hybrid between slightly less rabid Fox News and home shopping. This tells us two things, and those things are that we won't be DVRing a heck of a lot of their programs, and that there are a lot of people out there just waiting to have their fears exploited, and if only we could discard our dumb scruples we'd think of some ways of getting in on that. You people DO know that, in a pinch, genuine Wonket dentata panties can be used to supplement the air filters in your gas mask, right?

There is almost certainly a lot more we could say about the launch of NewsmaxTV, but we will leave that for another post since right now we need to find out more about the 5 common household items that may be giving us cancer.

[ Bloomberg BusinessWeek ]

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