272 Comments
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marcus816's avatar

“If you’re imagining Matt Gaetz standing too close to a high school with a pocket full of Cialis and Monster Energy Drink, uh, well, sorry that’s happening to you this early in the AM.”

That’s just mean, Evan.

Wondering Woman's avatar

As a purely objective point, it doesn’t help Gaetz that he looks like the embodiment of the gross guy in high school whom no self-respecting girl would date because her picture would appear on social media with a grade from him underneath.

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Bob Crane did a bunch of family-friendly Disney movies after Hogan's Heroes, playing the bumbling Dad. He used to carry naked pics of the girls he'd slept with and showed them around to the cast and crew at work. His career took an abrupt left turn when he did that to Julie Andrews.

Teddy Barnes's avatar

Yeah, bludgeoned to death in a cheesy Scottsdale condo after performing with a dinner theater group. The place was filled with video equipment and tapes of his sex-capades. The guy had a real problem with sex addiction......lots of jealous husband/boyfriends were possible perps. On a side note, he was beaten too death with a camera tri-pod........poetic.....

Innocent_Bystander's avatar

IOW, they *knew* Gaetz was a child-trafficking rapist asshole, and did *nothing* about it, because....

Yep. They're all scum, and they deserve every moment of face-eating leopard chaos they brought upon themselves.

Jus_Wonderin's avatar

I actually have no comment this time because Gaetz disgusts me so much. He's right there behind Trump. <And, ewwww.

TexasCatHag's avatar

So why the fuck was he not charged for the sex trafficking? Oh yeah, the corrupt "justice" department still filled with and taking orders from magas.

DDB9000's avatar

Katy Tur on MSNBC trying to stop my vile asshole NY state congressscumbag Marc Molinaro (R-Exrcrement) from bothsidesing it. She kept pushing him and he kept dodging things.

Sure as hell hope the re-re-re-districting that the lameass Dem fuckers in Albany caused will finally get things right (but probably won't).

CambridgeKnitter's avatar

I hope you end up with Congresscritter Awesome (D-your place).

DDB9000's avatar

Well ironically when the vile Tom Reed II came to power it was cause he beat a friend of mine by only 5%,

Then the next two times he won, he beat another friend of mine, but my bigger margins.

First times that that kind of thing ever happened to me.

Bindersfulohostbodies's avatar

Chances his Republican colleagues actually did walk away rather than ogle underaged victims?

Zip.

Dorothea is a Democrat's avatar

"This is a guy that the media didn’t give the time of day to after he was accused of sleeping with an underage girl." I would just like to note that the media is not responsible for putting a pool noodle around Matt Gaetz for the Republican party. They knew more than the media did and yet remained silent. I can't wait to see how it is somebody else's fault when Santos explodes all over them like a shit balloon.

Diane's Less Hostile Username's avatar

Per usual: Markwayne Mullin changed his name from Mark Wayne to Markwayne.

Wondering Woman's avatar

It's the name of a backwoods cow f*er or a backwoods revival preacher/snake oil salesman - wonder which vibe he was going for?

Diane's Less Hostile Username's avatar

And no, it's not mar-qwain. It's Markwayne, just like it's spelled.

Spleen Victoria's avatar

But..WHY? Why would an alleged adult choose to DO THAT?

The Horned Tulip God's avatar

I still maintain Gaetz staged those Trojan boxes in his trash can so it only looks like he was getting all kinds of laid. I can't believe there are enough women in the world who want to touch that of their own free will. Speaking of which--has anyone checked in with his "wife" lately?

BillEGoatSmile's avatar

Still can't believe that woman Ginger actually married him.

DDB9000's avatar

Maybe she's just a beard?

Spleen Victoria's avatar

Or Russian spy. Could be Russian spy.

Andrea's avatar

What happened to his “son”?

DDB9000's avatar

I agree with what Daniel said below...

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

I recently saw the hypothesis floated that Nestor was Gaetz's Ghislaine Maxwell. He appears to be of CW High School Series Age, able to invite girl's over to his "Dad's" house.

Never been there myself, but I'm assuming "Dad" has a pretty nice place.

And everyone knows single "Dad's" are always cool.

DDB9000's avatar

But which CW character? Stargirl, Betty, Veronica, Fox, Stephanie Brown, Ted Fan?

So many to choose from!

pmsrw3's avatar

"So the GOP, both nationally and back home, decided to take him down, and they did it with alarming efficiency"

That the GOP did ANYTHING AT ALL "with alarming efficiency" is so utterly implausible that I refuse to believe it.

"as we can see he is no longer in Congress."

Or maybe Cawthon is just a farcical shitweasel who did himself in.

RC's avatar

Couldn't happen to a nicer guy. LOL