Roid Rage Rep. Michael Grimm Indicted, Will Not Resign To Spend More Time With His Lawyers

We have had a great time the last few months laughing at the crusading Staten Island congressman Rep. Michael Grimm (R-Roid Rage) as he took the House by storm:  standing up to our tyrannical President’s unprecedented, Constitution-shredding decision to impose a $4 annual fee on cell phones to fund high-speed Internet for schools, threatening to throw a reporter off a balcony for asking a question as if that is something reporters are even supposed todo, and (maybe) sexing up a lady in a public toilet. What could Michael Grimm possibly do to top all this hilarity? How does an indictment in federal court grab you?

On Friday news broke that the government would be unsealing an indictment against the former Marine, former FBI agent and current douche noodle on charges related to a restaurant business he once owned. The feds have also been investigating Grimm for a couple of years over some possibly illegal campaign contributions, but it seems he is not being indicted on anything related for that – yet. So we could have more federal corruption charges fun time with Rep. Grimm in the future.

Grimm is expected to turn himself into authorities sometime Monday morning so he can be arraigned in federal court before the end of the day. Perp walk, perp walk!

Not that Grimm is letting a little thing like a trial and possible jail time stop him from continuing to run for re-election. And why not? The Staten Island Republican Party is offering him its full support, either because the party members believe in Grimm’s innocence or because the filing deadline to get another candidate on the ballot was two weeks ago. Who can say what kind of principled reasons are surely behind this decision?

We’re sure that the mural of one of the greatest Republican criminals of all time approves.

[ New York Times ]

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