I’m back and I missed you and you missed me! Hello friend! Except Martini Glambassador, she did not miss me because we SAW US in ROME!
So how was Rome, me? It was stupid beautiful, every time you turn around something is 2000 years old, the people were all SUPER nice, I would probably not get such an expensive hotel next time (it was mostly credit card points but still), and you guys are going to be mad at me but … we didn’t love the food that much! I think our American palates are expecting Sicilian-style maybe, and to me and Shy, Roman food was very bland :( Every time I had an eggplant parmigiana though, it was delicious, and our pasta making class was super fun (and also delicious), and we walked 12 to 16 miles a day and I think I strained my groin. FROM WALKING. I will probably put a gallery at the end of this post, so make sure to wade through all the terrible tabs of terrible news for MAYBE a treat!

So we’re all domestic terrorists now, right? RIGHT! :D I actually was really scared of this when they first came into office guns blazing, but then all the No Kings protests happened and now I just feel like “nah, let ‘em try.” (Democracy Docket)
Here’s some Democrats who might help Congress pass the very terrible defense authorization bill, to pay for the boat murders and the National Guard blue state invasions and the extra trans hate and some other stuff too. I think they should stop! (The Fucking News)
Trump’s case for his pardon of the drug dealer Honduran president: “What? Who? I did?” (Greg Sargent at The New Republic)
Are these Republican concepts of plans for Obamacare replacements any good, or are they Republican concepts of plans for Obamacare replacements? Let’s ask ACA Signups! (ACA Signups)
Haha, Missouri good government types gonna try to force Missouri to let voters vote on their gerryfucked congressional maps, like California did (and succeeded). They got three times the necessary signatures! Now how will the Lege fuck them over? (NBC News)
The EPA has scrubbed all the climate change science from all the websites, so now we won’t have climate change anymore. Yay everyone good job! (EE News)
Well just don’t read this one from last month about the influencers convincing people to have birth without doctors or midwives, and to not even resuscitate a newborn baby that isn’t breathing because that takes away its agency, just don’t. Oh you read it? Those women are bad. They are bad, bad women. (The Guardian)
Who wants to buy Stephen and Katie Miller’s ugly ass house? (Zillow)
Old Teslas are the junkiest of all the used cars, they make Jeeps look like Toyotas :( (Futurism)
Did Tiffany Trump’s husband rip off Jared Kushner? LOL :) (The Intellectualist)
This is nice, let’s all throw a Repair Day! (KGW8)
And here’s the greatest thing this week, John Paul Brammer on “Cloud Dancer.” Treat yourself, it’s so mad! (John Paul Brammer)
Well, you’ve made it to the bottom of tabs, and I often sometimes keep my vague promises!









Here’s more!









Okay, some more even!









Wow that was a lot of pictures. Thanks for my salary, and also all the credit card points, we love you, GOODBYE!





Floaty, polka-dotted little baby trunkfish. More info 'bout your gif here: https://martiniambassador.substack.com/p/tiny-trunkfish
And your meme chat: https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/43f20f36-c427-4a85-aa40-a59b3ff4d882
Why are Shy and I whipping out the cameras at dinner? No, not for our Instachatocks, but because WE MADE THAT PASTA! It was a proud moment.