Romney Surrogate John Sununu Regrets Using 'The Words That Were There'

Well it has been quite a rollercoaster of a week for non-apology apologies, has it not? Like the foreign policy aide who ONLY TWEETS ABOUT CHINAMEN OUT OF FRUSTRATION and THEN that unfortunate "satirical" reference to fried chicken on the Vermont GOP Facebook page that "saddened" everyone involved, and NOW it’s time for our favorite fat,pot-smoking southernerJohn Sununu to issue HIS non-apology for his own ill-advised commentary. (Don’t worry, Rush, you’re still our favorite fat, oxycontin-guzzling southerner and DON'T YOU CHANGE, man!)

See, Sununu (who you may remember as the Chief of Staff that HW fired due to Sununu's penchant for using $3,945-per-hour military jets to wing to two dental appointments in Boston, at least one ski resort in Colorado, a football game in New Jersey, and his parents’ house in Florida) insulted our Kenyan president this morning while on a conference call with reporters. Nothing says “AMERICA” like taking a half a million dollars in government money to go to the dentist (twice), so Sununu felt totally free to call President Obama a foreign pot-smoking socialist (FOR REALZ). Now, he’s issued a helluva non-apology to none other than Wolf Blitzer:

 Via CNN:  

Mitt Romney's national campaign co-chair John Sununu apologized Tuesday afternoon for questioning President Barack Obama patriotism earlier in the day.

Appearing on CNN's "The Situation Room with Wolf Blitzer," Sununu said he regrets using those words.

"I'm apologizing for using those words," said Sununu. "I did say those words that were there and, frankly, I made a mistake."

Sununu harshly criticized Obama's leadership in a conference call with reporters and saying he wished "this president would learn how to be an American."

The conference call came on the heals of the Obama campaign's continued attacks on presumptive GOP nominee Mitt Romney's business record and reluctance to release more tax returns.

First: yes. It says “heals” instead of “heels” on CNN, which is fun in its own way. And how dare those words be THERE, tempting Sununu to use them in this way?? Also: sadly, this would have been my favorite non-apology of the day if only it hadn't had so much competition. Better luck next time, John!

 [CNN]