Ron ‘Chuckles’ DeSantis Running For Silver Medal In Republican Presidential Primary

Not fired up. Not ready to go.

Hey, remember Ron DeSantis? If so, I'm sorry. The Florida governor is expected to launch his presidential campaign this week, and that's not something we can easily ignore. There's always the chance he could win the Republican nomination and the presidency. However, on the upside, things aren't going well for him. He's down in the polls. Mickey Mouse keeps pantsing him publicly, and Republicans aren't rallying to him as the ideal Donald Trump alternative. Many, such as New Hampshire Gov. Chris Sununu, are even considering running themselves, likely after seeing footage of DeSantis laughing.

John Thune, the Senate's second-ranking Republican, is set to endorse his colleague Tim Scott. Not a single senator endorsed Ted Cruz's 2016 run until after Super Tuesday. DeSantis strikes me more as the Cruz of this cycle, especially considering how he's alienated Republicans in his own state, some of whom have already backed Trump. Oh, and he's a big asshole with zero social skills and the charismatic appeal of curdled milk. During his 2018 campaign, DeSantis was literally told to write "LIKABLE" at the top of his notepad before a debate.

PREVIOUSLY:

 Ron DeSantis Achieves New Dickishness Personal Worst 

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Harry Enten at CNN advises against counting DeSantis out just yet, though. Here's his totally relevant comparison to a past presidential underdog.

 Back in 2007 , Illinois Sen. Barack Obama was averaging in the low 20s nationally ahead of the 2008 Democratic primary season. New York Sen. Hillary Clinton was dominating the national polls for the Democratic nomination with nearly 40% of the vote. Her lead grew slightly larger during the second half of the year.

And yet, Obama ended up defeating Clinton .

Obama probably had lower name recognition at this point in the 2008 primary campaign. He wasn't nearly as universally reviled (yet) by the Right as DeSantis is among almost everyone who's not a bigoted white cis heterosexual male. He was personable and could connect easily with voters who weren't inclined to agree with him, as demonstrated in an April 2007 New Yorker profile.

Also, this is 2007 Barack Obama.

 www.youtube.com 

And this is 2023 Ron DeSantis. 

“Is it safe?”

— Robyn Pennacchia (@Robyn Pennacchia) 1684686067 

DeSantis, who trails Trump in every poll conducted outside his residence, wants to pitch primary voters on his supposed "electability" against President Joe Biden. Electability arguments are usually the last refuge of the truly desperate. You're losing to voters now , but those future voters later are gonna love you. Sure. This is especially unconvincing considering that DeSantis is running a base-centric campaign. He's never governed from the middle, and there's no reason to believe he can win over those swing suburban white voters who helped elect Glenn Youngkin in Virginia. You don't sign six-week abortion bans and permitless carry gun laws if you're pinning your presidential ambitions on supposed "soccer moms."

 The Hill reports:  

DeSantis and his allies have focused on Trump’s losing record in recent elections to set up the Florida governor as a worthy alternative to the ex-president with GOP primary voters. DeSantis has specifically told GOP voters to “reject the culture of losing.”

“Governing is not about entertaining. Governing is not about building a brand or talking on social media and virtue signaling. It’s ultimately about winning and producing results,” DeSantis told voters during a recent stop in Iowa in a swipe at Trump without naming the former president.

If DeSantis can't directly attack the primary frontrunner, who doesn't hesitate attacking him, he's the one who looks like a loser, a hollow suit bully who can't stand up to the guy he seeks to replace. Trump wailed on Jeb Bush, directly leading to the one-time frontrunner's collapse. Obama also wasn't afraid to harshly criticize 2008 frontrunner Hillary Clinton by name. He didn't hide from a fight.

Trump has cornered the MAGA market. It's not as if rising fascist star Marjorie Taylor Greene is challenging him. Meanwhile, DeSantis is acting as if second place will get him a silver medal. It reminds me of the Jerry Seinfeld line:  “Congratulations, you almost won. Of all the losers, you came in first of that group. You’re the number one loser. No one lost ahead of you."

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