Ron DeSantis Will Bomb Some Messicans If It Will Get You To Like Him

It's the GOP's semi-regular race to see who can be the toughest, swaggering-est tough guy.

Since septic anal fistula Ron DeSantis’ poll numbers in the Republican presidential primary have collapsed, we can expect him to make ever-sweatier and more desperate policy proposals as he sees his dreams of reaching the White House slipping through his stubby, pudding-coated fingers. This week’s outrage? As John McCain might have said, “Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb … Mexico!”

One would think a POTUS would exercise caution about suggesting bombing a neighboring nation for the first time since Grant shelled Richmond. But then, we’re not a desperate fascist trying to solve policy issues by asking the timeless question, “How would Tom Clancy handle this?”

From NBC News:

Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis said Thursday that he would be open to using drone strikes against Mexican drug cartels if he’s elected president. 

“We will absolutely reserve the right if they’re invading our country and killing our people,” DeSantis said when a voter asked whether he would be willing to use drones against the cartels. 

Absolutely. Using drones to bomb alleged criminals living amidst a large civilian population has never gone badly for the United States in the past. The Mexican government will probably thank us for our hard-nosed tactics. Greet us as liberators, even.

Also let’s note the language. There is a long, long history of America treating drugs being smuggled across its borders as an issue for law enforcement. But call it an invasion that is killing Americans, and voilà! Instant justification for calling in the 101^st Airborne.

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DeSantis has leaned heavily enough on his military service as a JAG lawyer in the Navy that he probably think bombing the cartels would make him look tough. This despite the fact that his Navy career mostly consisted of telling SEALs in Iraq who they could and could not shoot, and watching and laughing as Muslim prisoners were tortured in front of him at Guantanamo.

On the plus side maybe he’ll make another commercial in which he pretends to be Tom Cruise in Top Gun because he doesn’t realize how many people saw this and thought of Dukakis riding in a tank.

The idea of taking military action against Mexican drug cartels in order to stop the flow of fentanyl into America has been floating around on the right for some time. Donald Trump briefly considered droning drug cartels during his presidency but never followed through due to his advisers’ fear of an international incident combined with his having the attention span of corn.

But lately, Republicans both in and not in the Republican presidential primary have brought the idea back. Trump himself has mused again about sending Special Forces into Mexico. A couple of Republican congressmen introduced an Authorization for Use of Military Force to “declare war” on cartels. The normally so-sunny-it-hurts Tim Scott has even promised to let the military fight the cartels.

DeSantis had previously proposed using the Navy and Coast Guard to blockade Mexican ports to stop the inflow from China of the precursor chemicals used to make fentanyl, which is created in Mexican labs before being smuggled into the United States. The consequences that might ensue from using the United States military to board and seize our largest adversary’s civilian vessels in international waters do not seem to have entered his snarling little noggin. Or they have and he doesn’t care.

Actually bombing Mexican territory would seem to be an escalation even from that, but there is probably no bottom for DeSantis. He’s already sent the Florida National Guard to the southern border to stop migrants from crossing, despite the fact that Florida has several states and a giant gulf of water between it and Mexico. And as mentioned before, he’s sweaty and desperate.

[NBC News]