121 Comments

i assume we're allowed to switch hands?

asking for a friend.

Expand full comment

Wait, I think I need to re-think my candidate preferences...

Expand full comment

"And yet we continue to be surprised that his family allows him to walk around unescorted and free to babble inanities into every microphone."

And wear hideous bow-ties.

Doc Wilson : It's the truth that you should never trust anybody who wears a bow tie. Cravat's supposed to point down to accentuate the genitals. Why'd you wanna trust somebody whose tie points out to accentuate his ears? ~ State and Main

Expand full comment

Well that's just science.

Expand full comment

Giuliani and Thing in happier times.

Expand full comment

(Pinches bridge of nose)

Look. I realize the average person may know little about what a board of directors does. But I can tell you that often what gets you on a board of directors is *already being on other boards*, NOT knowledge of the particular industry. A board manages a company; they don't make day-to-day decisions involving the particular industry a company may be involved in. Guess who had been a board member before? Guess who had specific experience in management and law (EVP at MBNA; served in the Department of Commerce; Amtrak board of directors and vice chair of said board; lobbyist; founder of an investment firm). This notion that he needed to have experience in oil to be a board member is just nonsense.

NOW. Is Hunter Biden kind of a mess of a human being? Yes. Would he have gotten the job offer without AT LEAST his partner being offered a board position first, never mind his last name? Probably not. But he was plenty qualified for the job.

Republicans who wanna whine about board memberships vs qualifications should maybe keep their mouths shut, because it would take about two seconds to research boards of American companies and who they got on 'em. Or *had*. Theranos comes to mind. Enron is another.

Expand full comment

I keep trying to make this point to the "hurr durr Hunter Biden doesn't speak Ukrainian or know how to drill for gas" crowd, but they seem incapable of comprehending... well, really anything.

No matter how many times I point out that my former software-making employer didn't pay Senator Al D'Amato to sit on our board because he could code, or that Paul Ryan - who knows absolutely fuck-all about media production - doesn't sit on Fox's board for free, they just keep repeating the same bullshit "hurr durr he got $50K a month" garbage until I feel like I just want to haul off and slap them all.

Yeah, yeah, with votes. Whatever.

Expand full comment

I'm willing to bet all the money in my pocket right now that he think's he's stylin' like James Bond.

Expand full comment

You're right, of course, but that has nothing to do with the purpose of this kind of propaganda for the Trumpist disinformation campaign. The point is to throw enough manufactured "scandal" out into the media ecosystem to 1) tire out the Dems who have to keep explaining why it's bullshit, 2) demoralize potential D voters to depress turnout and 3) allow R voters to justify voting for Trump with whataboutisms. This is just a re-tooling of the Benghazi/e-mails/Clinton Foundation/Uranium One nonsense from 2016.

Expand full comment

If Ghouliani does get called to testify, Democrats should demand he pass a breathalyzer test before he takes the oath.

Expand full comment

Why in the world would they want to do that?

Expand full comment

Giuliani "kind of invented" the RICO statute?

That'll come as news to Notre Dame law professor G. Robert Blakey, whom most of us blame for that darling of the prosecutors' nursery.

Expand full comment

Which doesn't exactly sound like a resounding vote of confidence in the probative value of Rudy's demonstrations, lectures, and summations.

What they lack in probative value they more than make up for with their abject absence of materiality. (Perry Mason probably said that somewhere.)

Expand full comment

RICO for Bidens? Nah. The Trump Family, on the other hand, RICO fits them like a glove.

Expand full comment

I agree, but I also think it does have something to do with it, to the extent I see Democrats buying into the propaganda.

Interestingly, you know who has *never* been on a board of directors despite being a wealthy, public figure? Not even on the board of, like, a museum or a golf charity? That would be Mr. Donald J. Trump. He's never been asked, because he's unethical and untrustworthy.

Expand full comment

Hunter Biden is guilty of bad judgement, but that is not illegal. And as an adult, Joe Biden had no control over what jobs his son took. As you mentioned, directors are not involved in day to day operations, and are very unlikely to be involved in corporate malfeasance other than signing off on top level hires who may be pulling scams and general policy, and even there, they generally just rubber stamp the decisions execs make since as you mention, they are there for their name values more than their expertise in a specific corporation. Unless your name is Trump, then they avoid you like the plague.

Expand full comment