265 Comments
User's avatar
Mehmeisterjr's avatar

1 annulment decree.

1 scraggly butt with phone attached.

Expand full comment
Hesavebread!'s avatar

From wiki:Harold Giuliani, a plumber and a bartender,[40] had trouble holding a job, and was convicted of felony assault and robbery, serving time in Sing Sing.[41] After his release he worked as an enforcer for his brother-in-law Leo D'Avanzo, who ran an organized crime operation involved in loan sharking and gambling at a restaurant in Brooklyn.[42] The family lived in East Flatbush, Brooklyn until Harold died of prostate cancer in 1981,[43] after which Helen moved to Manhattan's Upper East Side.

Expand full comment
Rooster Cogburn105's avatar

Might need to add a few weights to his vote-blade

Expand full comment
Zyxomma's avatar

If anyone deserves to be lonely and friendless ...

Expand full comment
Our_Man_In_Redneckistan's avatar

Fernando Ferrer? Maybe. I didn't hear that part of the story.

Expand full comment
marshwren's avatar

Ah, Mayor Noun, Verb, and 9/11. Who once set the modern US land record for highest ratio of money spent to delegates earned in a presidential primary: $50M for 0 delegates. Now we have his successor, Bloomberg, saying "Hold my Cheval Blanc 1947 (only $305,000/bottle) and watch this!" as he spends $500M (and counting) for still 0 delegates.

Expand full comment
sgt. jmk de la résistance's avatar

1 safe containing 1 insurance (LOL) policy.

Expand full comment
Bindersfulohostbodies's avatar

• 1 large alimony bill, crippling

Expand full comment
Pm Deering's avatar

"Ukraine Clown Posse?" HAHAhahahahaha! I had not heard that one, it is awesome! Did you coin that?

Expand full comment
Petunia Cat's avatar

Zongo! Thank you. I’m not sure how I feel about somebody whose father was even a low-level gangster being allowed to be a US attorney. Obviously no one wants to be judged by shit their father did (I sure as hell don’t) but it is a law enforcement. That’s a bit different and special.

Expand full comment
Ghoti theLinguist's avatar

No, I can't claim originality on that one, but I've cheerfully adopted it!

Expand full comment
Vagenda and Pee-ara's avatar

https://www.nytimes.com/200...

He was arrested for armed robbery, he was involved in loan sharking. His cousins were also mafia associates. Michael Cohen's father was also a gangster. Are you surprised any of these people are actual criminals? I'm not.

Expand full comment
JTS's avatar

Oxbridge accent ? My public school contemporaries would wince at pleb Piers accent .

Expand full comment
Petunia Cat's avatar

Given Giuliani‘s behaviour I’m not surprised that he has a bunch of gangster relatives. What’s surprising is that given that he was allowed to be a US attorney. 😳

Expand full comment
Vagenda and Pee-ara's avatar

He was fairly well respected, too. I'm not sure when his brain broke. Watching him froth at the mouth at the RNC was really something.

Expand full comment
Petunia Cat's avatar

Yep. I didn’t notice until after the election that he lost his marbles. Yesterday I was watching something super old, yeah Dana Carvey was on Stephen Colbert and they were talking about some late night show Carvey had a million years ago. I think Carvey does Giuliani. That reminded me of a daily show joke back during Bush II, they were talking about who would be the most popular candidate and Running mate. It was kept getting more ridiculous. Till it was Rudy Giuliani and the kitten. Then Rudy Giuliani and an ice cream cone. So this would’ve been like six years after 911. 😯

Expand full comment