Russian Athletes Get Kissy Facey, May Or May Not Be Protesting Stupid Anti-Gay Law
Members of the Russian 4 x 400-Meter relay team may or may not have been protesting the country's terrible anti-gay law when they kissed on the winner's podium Saturday at the World Athletics Championship in Moscow. An initial round of stories suggested that it was probably definitely a protest, but later comments by "sources in the Russian camp" insisted that they were simply celebrating in a non-protest-y kind of way. The athletes themselves have not said anything about their intentions. Rodeo clown Tuffy Gessling has not yet weighed in on the controversy.
In a more unambiguous protest, Swedish high jumper Emma Green-Tregaro painted her fingernails in rainbow colors during qualifications, but later repainted them red following a warning from the governing body for track and field.
Russia's sports minister, Vitaly Mutko, did not specifically address the celebratory kissing or the nail polish protest, but insisted that everything is just fine and everyone in Russia is happy, so just shut up already:
"We don’t have a law to ban non-traditional sexual relations. The mass media in the west have focused much more on this law more than they do in Russia," he said. "We want to protect our younger generation whose physicality has not been formulated. It is a law striving to protect rights of children -- and not intended to deprive anybody of their private life."
As Mutko blamed outside agitators for stirring up trouble, the ghost of Bull Connor was heard to say "That's m'boy."
All I know is that it involves this one weird trick...
There are tables in the Rubber Handbook.