411 Comments
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Hank Napkin's avatar

'I AM THE ONLY GUARDRAILS OF DUMOCRACY HAS'

Trump dismisses threat of AI as a ‘hoax’ and condemns what he claims is a ‘sick conspiracy’ after tech CEOs call for slowing pace of development --The Guardian

Joseph Oakes's avatar

Enough with the russia, Russia, Russia bullshit! Your retarded biden walked like he shit his diaper and couldn't even put a complete sentence together 🤣 🤪🤡💩🤦🏼‍♂️

Wokey McWokeface's avatar

Traditionally it is the Honeypot's father who pays for the wedding.

Governor LePetomane's avatar

"And sometimes a wedding gift is simply a wedding gift."

And sometimes a human printer is just a human printer is all.

Sk8erChoi's avatar

When someone is a "human" something, it's either about their strength in some sport, their appetite, or else it's some really gross fetish thing.

Rhand Holm's avatar

"Our dear friend Umar" is not the defense she thinks it is.

Rad's avatar

"...but Hunter Biden's laptop!!!!"

42tontom's avatar

“The blind computer repairman turned him in”

SURE JAN

3FingerPete's avatar

Poor DJjr. Passed over running the Trump Org in favor of Fredo II. He'll be passed over for US President by Jarvanka and later Barron. Soaking Russian oligarchs for nickels is all the poor guy has going in life.

Sk8erChoi's avatar

Don Corleone: "Look what they did to my boy!"

Don Trump: "Who? Was he wearing a suit at least? Never interrupt my golf game!"

NatalyaS's avatar

This shit is not unexpected. I'm with Ms. Rachel on all things! Comically, my great, adorable great niece, for whom I would murder the entire world, just started preschool. Her teacher's name is Miss Rachel. The Miss Rachels of this world have it going on!

3FingerPete's avatar

Miss Rachel has given me Romper Room flashbacks.

SkeptiKC's avatar

That is my oldest daughter's name as well.

Chino Cherokee's avatar

hUNtErbIdENPenISLaPTop!!!!!1!!!!!!

Stephen Breyer's Ice Cream's avatar

If you're having a slight sense of deja vu at the name "International Boxing Association," search "Imane Khelif" and try not to throw up as you remind yourself of the IBA's involvement in her story.

Alternative Dog's avatar

Yep, that was the first thing that came to mind.

Lisa's avatar

I didn't realize eagles had antennae. Maybe just the gilded ones.

Richard S's avatar

If it's Russian-made, it doesn't even need any active electronics.....

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Thing_(listening_device)

Sk8erChoi's avatar

To listen in on the grumblings of the peasants. They could use another wave of measles to quiet things down.

gallbladder's avatar

I know just the guy...

42tontom's avatar

“I’ll give you some explosive diarrhea to cry about”

satch's avatar

"It was an extraordinarily generous wedding gift from a friend, and something for which we were and remain incredibly grateful."

HOW grateful, Bettina?

Hank Napkin's avatar

RFKJr TO THE RESCUE

Maryland boy recovering from surgeries after rabid beaver attack at state park -- The Guardian

AIB's avatar

Pinocchio?

I’m sorry.

Chemical's avatar

I hope he doesn't hear about it. If the Trump regime hears about a rabid beaver attack on an American child, then we'll be in a shooting war with Canada for sure.

SethTriggs's avatar

Man. This family is just basically a sub-bureau of the Kremlin LOL.

And it's not ever going to be for love; all these folks are just remoras waiting for a taste of the power once the sex pest mob boss kicks off.

gallbladder's avatar

Too bad they don't realize that the shark they are suckling off of might a) devour them in the blink of an eye and/or b) leave them nothing after it dies.

Hank Napkin's avatar

The True Path to Success is Through Parasitic Inheritance.

feralboy12's avatar

So Junior needed "treatment," or some kind of "procedure" to help with his jawline? Couldn't he just do that looksmaxxing thing where you hit yourself in the face with a hammer?

I'm sure there would be no shortage of people willing to help him with that.

Fleur de Sel's avatar

It’s a package deal along with septum reconstruction.

gallbladder's avatar

Have I ever told you that I really don't like you?

[pulls on your pigtails and runs away, giggling]

-gb

Chemical's avatar

If Trump Jr. needs someone to hit him hard in the face, I got two fists right here.

gallbladder's avatar

Help me with this chisel...

eppe's avatar

Chiselling the chiseller.

AIB's avatar

Don, put your hand in front of your face and see if you can move it before I hit it with this hammer…

Our_Man_In_Redneckistan's avatar

“Hey Don, wanna play Metronome?” “SURE! Uh…what’s a metronome?”

42tontom's avatar

Chisel? Pass me that howitzer.

gallbladder's avatar

Okay everyone: stand back.

42tontom's avatar

“Ok, this might sting a little…”

Sk8erChoi's avatar

Could they not help him with that fuzzy baboon hole his lips make when he's pretending to act surprised?

Alternative Dog's avatar

Now I'm really feeling the loss of Colbert's Eric Trump impression.

Elviouslyqueer's avatar

The proper term for that is "puckered baboon bunghole," tyvm.

DavidGC's avatar

i can't imagine spending $8,000 on a wedding, let alone $800,000

we got married at the courthouse as one should

President Obama's portrait gazed at us lovingly in the court room

"Lady Marmalade" blasted in the background

Our_Man_In_Redneckistan's avatar

Mine cost $1,200 in 2003. We passed the hat at the reception and paid off every cent.

DavidGC's avatar

the license was $300. that's it

also, I kid about lady marmalade playing in the background

it was Queen

eppe's avatar

"We Are The Champions" ?

Elviouslyqueer's avatar

"Another One Bites the Dust"?

What?

Our_Man_In_Redneckistan's avatar

I’ve heard Tainted Love at a wedding reception.

Elviouslyqueer's avatar

Oh I dunno. Inviting the entire wedding entourage to couchez avec tois sounds like quite the party!

Our_Man_In_Redneckistan's avatar

We had to pay to rent the hall, for the food, the decorations, the dress…