593 Comments
User's avatar
Mr. Foobar's avatar

To be fair, you need more than one raccoon to operate the vehicle

Expand full comment
eddi-SABH's avatar

May as well put the demands on record. The Rebs will be busy for the rest of the month doing nothing to get the House functional.

Expand full comment
AboveTheGrayFog's avatar

Yeah all those demands that Democrats could make will never be accepted by the Republicans.

So might as well make them I guess.

Expand full comment
House of the Blue Lights's avatar

I liked the way Kevin did the Speaker-vote-by-humiliation spectacle better, all at once with the cameras rolling. I mean, this is pretty entertaining, but that was even better.

Expand full comment
TexasDumb's avatar

Wait, there are a lot of GOPpers with weirdly shaped heads. Can you narrow it down for us? Little help, here.

Expand full comment
Resource NW's avatar

If 12 rethugs just do not vote, Jeffries wins. He can make poromises to them and be believed, Gymbob not so much.

Expand full comment
Paine_in_the_apse's avatar

It requires a 50%+1 majority of all current members to become Speaker; if a mere plurality was the threshold, McCarthy would still wield the gavel. There are to vacancies (UT-R RI-D), which reduces the magic number to 217 Jeffries would need five RINO votes, which he'll never get, unless there are five RINOs with a death wish (politically or otherwise). Until then, we're all just hostages to TV's most depressing (gym shower) soap opera.

Expand full comment
Resource NW's avatar

Math. I used to be good at math. Perhaps I need some beer to help.

Expand full comment
Ho͛gͦͥeͬ͒yeGr̰̻̜e̬̞̠x͔'s avatar

Jeffries needs what, 7 Republicans to vote for him? Seems more likely than Gym getting 19 more.

Expand full comment
Mike's avatar

Seems this MAGA speaker opera is similar to getting a 6 year to eat, and like those negotiations these will come to a similar conclusion: "OK you don't want the Mac n Cheese, you don't want the PBJ, WHAT DO YOU WANT?" And like a 6 year old they don't know what they want, but they like saying NO!

Expand full comment
Norton C Scrod's avatar

If Vince McMahon had a wrestler that performed as badly as Jordan does as a rep, that poor bastard would alternate between jobbing for midget wrestlers and cleaning stadium toilets for the rest of his career.

Expand full comment
H-Bob's avatar

Damn it, Bender, if you can't move sandalwood you don't belong in this league!

Expand full comment
Norton C Scrod's avatar

Yeah, but “little person” wrestlers just don’t sound right.

Expand full comment
zb23's avatar

dude. that is not the preferred nomenclature.

Expand full comment
cmd Human Scum's avatar

So reading some stuff about the Speaker Comedy and see that Qevin said he THINKS the speaker pro tem has power to move legislation. He appears to have just made this up, but according to CNN:

Former Speaker Kevin McCarthy said that current interim speaker Patrick McHenry should have the power to move legislation as temporary speaker without a vote in order to give Jim Jordan time to win over the holdouts.

“I always thought when I was nominating someone to be that they’d have the power to keep the continuity of government running together. Their job is keep government running while you select a new speaker,” he told CNN’s Manu Raju. “I think from the aspect you should give Jim Jordan the same time frame I was able to get.”

Maybe he just wishes it so.

Expand full comment
Charles  Schlotter's avatar

It's the Think system. Gary, Indiana class of '05.

Expand full comment
John Thorstensen's avatar

But is he going to support the Springfield monorail?

Expand full comment
Meccalopolis's avatar

Feels truthy to me!

Expand full comment
Resource NW's avatar

He just had to think it in his mind....Ooops, I see the problem.

Expand full comment
carovee's avatar

Speaker Pro Tem(per tantrum) already overstepped his bounds when he booted Pelosi from her office. So I doubt Qevin will have any problem with Mr. Bowtie continuing to overstep his bounds when it suits Rs to do so.

Expand full comment
AIB's avatar

I have a new prediction (worth the paper this is written on): Elise Stefanik.

Expand full comment
Sojourner44's avatar

As it presently stands, Kevin McCarthy still holds the title of worst speaker of the house in American history. Whew! That was a close call.

Expand full comment
Ho͛gͦͥeͬ͒yeGr̰̻̜e̬̞̠x͔'s avatar

Worst Speaker 𝘚𝘰 𝘧𝘢𝘳.

Expand full comment
Whatwhomever's avatar

Reluctantly upfisted. For accuracy

Expand full comment
Demodocus's avatar

Recess seems a particularly appropriate word for this set of childish 45-lovers

Expand full comment
Whatwhomever's avatar

They need to stay in class with their heads on their desks.

Expand full comment
AJ Milne's avatar

Putting Republicans in charge of a government makes roughly as much sense as handing a raccoon your car keys and asking it to drive you home.

Expand full comment
Angryoldman's avatar

More like giving those keys and alcohol to teenage boys.

Expand full comment
Mr. Foobar's avatar

a distinction without a difference

Expand full comment
Ho͛gͦͥeͬ͒yeGr̰̻̜e̬̞̠x͔'s avatar

The raccoon isn’t going to crash your car.

Expand full comment
You Should Ice That Burn's avatar

As CogSwell pointed out earlier, I'd like to join him in nominating this cringy pic of Gym Jordan as the official accompanying photo for all future Gym Jordan articles]\

https://substack.com/@cogswell1/note/c-42078378?utm_source=notes-share-action&r=2lkej2

Expand full comment
Randy Bender's avatar

DOG LIBELZZZXXX!!!!

Expand full comment
Donald Laporte's avatar

seconded

Expand full comment
TexasDumb's avatar

Passed by acclamation

Expand full comment
Bitter Scribe's avatar

Dear House Republicans: For the sake of what little is left of your dignity, will you please stop going on TV and whining about what the big mean Democrat caucus did to poor Kevin? It really makes you sound even more like a bunch of losers. When you make a mistake and your opponent makes you pay for it, all that means is, he's outplaying you.

Expand full comment
AboveTheGrayFog's avatar

Dignity is something they stopped having long ago, and I don't mind them whining because it's basically them being honest about who they are and what they do all the time.

Expand full comment
MrEes's avatar

Eh, let the babies whine. It suits them.

Expand full comment
Gary Seven in Space's avatar

WHAR SANTOS BABY?!!!

Expand full comment