323 Comments

Except for the fact that it would be gross and tedious and accomplish nothing, I'd love to get my hands on a stack of any kind of documents relating to any transaction or activity by these people, comb through them for the kinds of weird inconsistencies or typos or possibly unnecessary revisions that exist in all of our documents and gin up some bullshit conspiracy out of that, and then force them to explain forever why they spelled their name wrong or got the year wrong or crossed out something and put something else in that they then also crossed out to replace it with the original thing or whatever it is that we all often end up doing with the millions of documents we generate, especially in times of stress.

Expand full comment

My oldest cat mostly doesn't want to be touched, but as soon as I get in bed she's either on top of me (in cool/cold weather) or beside me. It is not at all unusual for me to wake up with her stretched out under my hand where I've apparently been petting her in my sleep.

Expand full comment

We have a chonky boy who loves being held and cuddled by my husband, too. Thanks for sharing. I needed to see this because this article is still making me enraged.

Expand full comment

Our kittens & puppies keep me from going off the deep end. There's so much bad in the world I need my house to be a place of love.

Expand full comment

Law & Order and CSI: Miami taught me that.

Expand full comment

I'm trying to work out a way to train the cats to sleep with us without waking up B-Train constantly- Nicky(Chonkers) in particular likes to step on his face and play "the bed is a racetrack" and it's waaaay less cute with a densely chonky big boy.

I think a baby gate and some more air dusters might help. If they can't scream in and out of the door like fighter jets they might give us a break.

Expand full comment

He sits like a people! I love it when they do that!

Expand full comment

Mayo not mustard

Expand full comment

This is Extended Stay America cat, visiting during the summer while our daughter completes her move to a new city. She (the cat) hates to travel so we want to minimize the transitions.

Expand full comment

ISWYDT

Expand full comment

I totally hear you, Vel Venturi and Susannah Merrill. My husband and I have 8 cats and 2 dogs, all rescues and seniors and most with special needs. They are the greatest animals ever, and we would go stone cold INSANE in today's horrific world if it weren't for our beloved critters. I'm so glad that you both have wonderful cats and dogs in your lives. They truly save our lives in dreadful days like these.

Expand full comment

That's really unfair to the pigs.

Expand full comment

Aaaaand that is how you make an English major get coffee up her nose!

Expand full comment

He does at that.

Expand full comment

Right? Like if you're gonna be crazy at least be interesting.

Expand full comment

What the fuck. The utter lack of respect and decency. That parent has a right to grieve for their child in peace. I'm so sick of these people who think they have a right to step all over other people. Who think that's what freedom means.

Expand full comment