15 Comments

Hey Starnes. <a href="http:\/\/www.rottentomatoes.com\/m\/kirk_camerons_saving_christmas\/" target="_blank">Saving Christmas</a> is Kirk Cameron's schtick so MYOB.

Expand full comment

Book of Trademarks 6:1-2

<i>Then I saw when the Lamb broke one of the seven seals, and I heard one of the four living creatures saying as with a voice of thunder, “Come.” I looked, and behold, a white-bearded dude with a serious obesity problem, and he had a bag; and a pointy hat with a puffy ball on the end was given unto him, and he went out gifting and to gift.</i>

Expand full comment

I too have been a little dismayed at the slow pace of this year's War on Christmas. More like a PHONY War on Christmas! I think appointing Heat Miser as General in Command was a mistake. He makes McClellan look like Michael Schumacher.

Expand full comment

Oh, dammit, what with one thing and another I forgot to put up my War on Christmas decorations this year! I usually take them out of storage when I put away the yard signs from all the losing Democratic candidates, but I just wasn't on my game. Shame on me (you can tell I'm a lie-brul, I'm still capable of shame!).

Expand full comment

Those cops weren't indicted either.

Expand full comment

A more entertaining method for getting what you want: hold your breath and stamp your feet.

Expand full comment

Am I the only one who thinks it's just a little bit ... <em>odd</em> ... that we encourage all the little ones to sit in the creepy masked guy's lap?

Expand full comment

The prior omissions of Ramadan Roscoe and Barney Buddha received similar, underwhelming reactions.

Expand full comment

Yes, when we win. Duh.

Expand full comment

So the guy lives on sheet ice, he uses slave labor, he wears a fur-trimmed red suit and hat that would embarrass a 70's pimp, he surveils more than the NSA, he invades homes at night, and he wants children to sit on his lap. What's not to like?

Expand full comment

Should have been 9 feet tall.

Expand full comment

I remeber that pasage in the bible, where they damned asks why and Jesus said because Santa wasn't at the Christmas play. Nothing to do with helping the poor or visiting the jailed/sick, that's too liberal for sure.

Expand full comment

Well, here I was expecting the Stalingrad of the War on Christmas and it looks as though ... I don't know how to say this, but ... IT'S ALMOST AS IF STARNES IS JUST GOING THROUGH THE MOTIONS! It's the War on Christmas, fer cripes sake, now suck it up and get in there and ... uh ... win one for the Gipper. Or something. I dunno.

Expand full comment

BillO saw <i>The Sands of Iwo Jima</i>. It's almost the same thing.

Expand full comment

Robot Santa is displeased.

Expand full comment