36 Comments
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Red Richmond's avatar

Take my upvote and get out.

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Sir David Chaillou, KSW  💋's avatar

Is this another fucking phantom thread, or is science dead?Either way, I wish those large hard-on colliders would stop messing with our universe. First Trump, and now this. Time to stop before we all end up stuck up in a singularity with Hean Sannity and Fucker Clarkson.

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Horrible Pourable's avatar

Hiya Carlos! The cancer story has been pissing me off too. Other signs it's bullshit include

1) Picking the name "Accelerated Evolution" for your start-up.2) Saying you can't afford to publish your research in any medical journals.3) Saying one goddamned WORD to the press about ANYTHING before human trials are even set up.4) Seriously, that name. A company called "Accelerated Evolution" should be selling bulk protein powder.

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ChumpsForTrump's avatar

So.. nothing published in any journals? Just some hype fed to the media?

How did that ever become news?

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Crystalclear12's avatar

How did Trump ever become president?

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Dr. Rrrrrobotnik's avatar

This kinda reminds me of one of the more insulting scientific urban myths out there, that there's no cancer cure because it's more profitable to just treat it.

Bro. Cancer is called the emperor of maladies for a reason. Given enough time, it'll eventually kill you, me, and literally everyone. It's your body malfunctioning on the cellular level, with all the terrifying force and efficiency of a machine gone haywire. It's fucking hard to fight, let alone cure, because it's fighting entropy itself.

And what company on Earth would turn down the "all the money, forever" profit margins of curing or vaccinating against it? Again, given enough time *everyone* will encounter cancer in their lives. The whole conceit relies on the idea that not only are pharma companies psychopathic (they are, but bear with me) but also stupid.

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SayItWithWookies's avatar

I was wondering how the LHC could be in both Switzerland and France - probably quantum entanglement. That stuff is freaky.

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Horrible Pourable's avatar

A press release and scientifically illiterate journalists.

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Baconzgood's avatar

None of these "facts" explain Cain, Abel and Seth from fucked their own sisters? Or how Noah was drunk gay raped by his sons.

LOOK AT THE BIBLE LIBTARDS!

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Charles Insandiego's avatar

Somehow pharmas make money off of asprin, which is not under patent, so an actual side-effect-free cure for cancer would make a bajillion dollars.

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Mormos's avatar

Incest is wincest!

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Person Woman Man Trans NB's avatar

Not sure if you mean you still are, but it’s because it’s built straddling the border. It’s an underground facility with a footprint in both countries.

Which just shows what scientists show. The only structure two countries should co-operate on between them is a WALL.

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Person Woman Man Trans NB's avatar

Yay science news! Love ya, Carlos.

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Swampay's avatar

And what makes you so certain they DON'T sell bulk protein powder? Maybe that's the key to the cure! Or maybe it's just a side hustle. I bet they sell bulk protein powder.

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CindyinEncinitas's avatar

Thank you! I asked for a particle accelerator for my birthday but none of my cheap ass friends would pop for one.

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Mr Canoehead/M Tête-Canoë's avatar

So when the new collider comes on line, will the LHC be demoted to Higgs Bosun's Mate?

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