RABID SCOOTER DRIVERS ON THE LOOSE is how you should now think of America's highways, so please "watch out." A vehicle containing an injured Pittsburgh Pirates player and his family came under attack by a scooter driver who thought the family's car was trying to kill him, so he followed them to a gas station and went all "Operation Scooter Freedom" on their vehicle and the player's wife. A passerby intervened and lived to tell this harrowing tale:
If people with muslin-sounding names can have scooters, we have already lost. They will infiltrate and live among us to throw their shoes at us without warning. This is not the America I grew up in.
Scooter road rage? Courtesy <a href="http:\/\/www.tnr.com\/blog\/jonathan-chait\/90122\/annals-bad-driving" target="_blank"> Jon Chait</a> and <a href="http:\/\/gawker.com\/5813054\/worlds-worst-driver-allegedly-crashed-while-drunk-having-sex-in-the-backseat" target="_blank">Adrien Chen at Gawker</a> &quot;Driver Allegedly Crashed While Drunk, Having Sex in the Backseat&quot; in DC! So this is in the Wonkette wheelhouse.
Should add that Chait concluded: <i> ...But the defendant&#039;s apparent ability to operate the car at all while drunk, having sex and being partially in the backseat is a pretty amazing feat of multitasking. </i>
I was confused, as &quot;scooter&quot; made me think of the Rascal variety rather than the moped-like variety. But the scooterist&#039;s name didn&#039;t look like the old fat white person type. The ability to throw the scooter down cleared up the confusion, as he could obviously walk. Still needs moar trucknutz.
I suspect the scooter was more Honda Metropolitan than Rascal. And &quot;Subhash Arjanbhi Modhwadia&quot; sounds more Gujarati than Homo redneckiensis.
There can be no other explanation.
<i>Subhash Arjanbhi Modhwadia</i>
If people with muslin-sounding names can have scooters, we have already lost. They will infiltrate and live among us to throw their shoes at us without warning. This is not the America I grew up in.
Trucknutz!
One, because good luck trying to find two Subhash Arjanbhi Modhwadias.
Scooter road rage? Courtesy <a href="http:\/\/www.tnr.com\/blog\/jonathan-chait\/90122\/annals-bad-driving" target="_blank"> Jon Chait</a> and <a href="http:\/\/gawker.com\/5813054\/worlds-worst-driver-allegedly-crashed-while-drunk-having-sex-in-the-backseat" target="_blank">Adrien Chen at Gawker</a> &quot;Driver Allegedly Crashed While Drunk, Having Sex in the Backseat&quot; in DC! So this is in the Wonkette wheelhouse.
<i>Whither goest thou, America, in thy shiny black scooter in the night?</i>
Should add that Chait concluded: <i> ...But the defendant&#039;s apparent ability to operate the car at all while drunk, having sex and being partially in the backseat is a pretty amazing feat of multitasking. </i>
so what you&#039;re saying is that scooters are more competitive than the pirates?
I was confused, as &quot;scooter&quot; made me think of the Rascal variety rather than the moped-like variety. But the scooterist&#039;s name didn&#039;t look like the old fat white person type. The ability to throw the scooter down cleared up the confusion, as he could obviously walk. Still needs moar trucknutz.
I suspect the scooter was more Honda Metropolitan than Rascal. And &quot;Subhash Arjanbhi Modhwadia&quot; sounds more Gujarati than Homo redneckiensis.
i bet this was actually a collision b/t a cool scooter and a fat SUV driven by wife of mamma&#039;s little meathead.
It&#039;s a good thing his scooter didn&#039;t have the gun rack option.
It&#039;s actually a Gujarati Hindu name, I believe.
Oh, wait, knowing something like that means I&#039;m not really American. Sorry, I&#039;ll turn in my passport.