Scott Brown Runs For Senate In New Zealand
If you needed any further proof that Trump's plan is to slowly poison everything lovely in the world while simultaneously grinding people to dust beneath his heel just to prove to himself that he can because he is a miserable, childish boor who's never figured out human emotion, sending a man known mostly for having been naked once in the '80s to a nation already often slighted by the international community is one more shred of it.
Yes, Scott Brown has been named America's ambassador to New Zealand.
Ambassadorships are frequently political gifts, mere sops to flunkies and loyalists. But New Zealand frankly deserves better than a carpetbagger so incompetent he can't even remember what state he's supposed to be running in. This is a guy that cribs lines from Lisa Simpson .
Since we have a lot of people in this world who like bombs and also conspiracy theories, here is one to chew over! It seems unlikely that anyone currently working at the White House knows about the ANZUS treaty but Australia is bound to defend New Zealand. Given how much Aussies love locking up immigrants and putting their racists on TV to shout at Muslims there's really no good excuse for the Pentagon to straight-up bomb Australia, but you just KNOW that someone told Trump the Liberals were in charge down there and he's been wanting to show them what's what ever since. I mean, if *I* were going to start a war with Australia, I would 100% start by insulting New Zealand. I've thought about this.
Anyway, Kiwis aren't dumb. Stuff , a reasonably popular NZ news site, introduced Kiwis to their new emissary from Trumpworld this way:
Dear Kiwi readers (we are sure our market share in Wellington is at least 20%, kia ora!) here are some tips about what to do if Scott Brown shows up near you:
Do not throw marital aids at his head . The last thing we need is this guy becoming a bigger dickhead and it's possible he'd just absorb them and add to his power. Just tell Bill English you need a dozen pizzas and then throw those.
Find whatever you can to make signs - use eyeliner on your iPad if you have to - with the following single word: MASSHOLE. I don't live in New England so I don't quite understand its cultural significance, but it will resonate if you show it to him.
This dude is a former model who loves all your favorite things. Don't let him get all shiny and happy and forget that the man supports torture. We know all Americans look alike to you but he's not, like, Burt Reynolds or anything. Do us a favor and don't let him have a press conference without at least one delightful and witty rejoinder from a representative of your nation!
[ WaPo / HuffPo / MJ / Stuff / Guardian ]
We had to look at whole pages of naked Scott Brown for this piece and you should consider compensating us for this public service!
I can totally see how Gaby's hero worship of Xena, combined with her own character development arc, would intersect with Eowyn's, either as a "poor decisions/substitute" a "we both have the same problem" or a more healthy "ships that pass in the night/comrades in arms" style interaction. And both of them eventually step up to be god-killers, so this ain't EVEN a sidekick sidequest story.
We're getting way OT and this is an old thread, but I had a thought about timelines. Gaby was on episodic television of >100 shows with some long-term story arc but lots of one-off encounters with people from all over various mythologies -- putting her in Middle Earth at any moment presents no problem and I'm sure the show would have done it if the Tolkien estate didn't have a reputation for strongly defending their canon. Eowyn, on the other hand, we see for a very brief period going through some fast phases: daughter taking care of father bewitched by Saruman, infatuated by Aragorn, rejected by Aragorn and going off to war as a death-seeking berserker, and then happily-ever-after with Faramir. I don't think the encounter can happen within the time of TLOTR. Two scenarios: Eowyn in Rohan as a younger girl/woman wanting to be a warrior in a place where that is not expected of women, and encountering Gaby in her badass amazon-queen mode who inspires Eowyn to become what she eventually does. Eowyn in Ithilien as wife of Faramir, encountering Gaby while she's still wearing a long skirt and hasn't encountered the Amazons, still cleaning some remnant orcs out of Ithilien and inspiring Gaby to be more than a sidekick.
I think badass Gaby inspiring young Eowyn would be easier to construct. If you do anything with any of these ideas or go someplace totally on your own, please do a reply that lets me find it. It's totally off topic, but I've enjoyed thinking about this the last few days.