Scott Brown: Why Are Democrats Insisting On F*cking Obamacare, Right In The Ear?

Scott Brown, that pretty fella who used to be Massachusetts's junior senator till he got his ass war-whooped by one Mrs. Perfesser Elizabeth Warren, has some thoughts on that terrible Halbig decision yesterday, the one by the DC Court of Appeals that said "why yes, Republican governors may singlehandedly fuck Obamacare, right in the ear," because some douche didn't want to pay $216 a year for health insurance. And if one douche doesn't want to pay $216 a year for health insurance, then nobody gets to pay $216 a year for health insurance. That is just how lawsuits work. So, reacting to this dumbfuck decision -- but not the one by the Fourth Circuit court a few hours later that was like "lol DC Court of Appeals drank too many childhood vaccines again" -- what thoughts are swimming behind Brown's dreamy eyes? That the Democrats just took away your health insurance. This is what we in the business call "Scott Brown, go sit on a dick."

Tell us some stuff, Weigel:  

How is Brown reacting to a court decision that would rip away subsidies from people who thought they had them?

Well, yesterday, he reacted as if Halbig was now the law of the land and Democrats had just raised taxes on people.

The court’s ruling means that people receiving subsidies for their insurance coverage will lose those subsidies. Either they will have to dig deeper into their own pockets to pay the full cost of their insurance, or taxes will have to be raised on all of us to make up the difference.

Today, Brown's campaign sent reporters a quick analysis, by Avalere Health, warning that "Americans who signed up for the Affordable Care Act could see dramatic increases in their health care premiums." According to the Brown campaign, "in New Hampshire, premiums for those who have subsidies could jump 70-74 percent."

Of course, the state could prevent the subsidy hikes by doing something rather simple. It could create a state exchange. That way, even if Halbig were upheld, New Hampshire residents would continue to get the subsidies.

We will give you one guess as to whether Scott Brown, who now "lives" "in" "New Hampshire" and is running (badly) to be the Senator there, supports New Hampshire setting up its own exchange should the DC Court's three-judge decision somehow make it past a hearing by the full (and now Bamz-stacked) panel.

Did you guess no? Well you were WRONG! Did you guess yes? You were ALSO WRONG. Because Scott Brown is in his own Schrodinger's box where he has answered neither yes nor no so therefore all answers are wrong simultaneously, if we know how Schrodinger's box works, which we do not.

Anyhoo, vote GOP so they can vote against Obamacare, vote to repeal Obamacare, vote to repeal the individual mandate, sue the president for delaying the thing they voted to repeal, go to court to force the federal government to stop giving subsidies for health insurance, and then complain there are no subsidies for health insurance. If anything, it just makes too much sense.

[ Slate ]