Sean Hannity: Why Can't Michelle Obama Be Less Racist, Like Condoleezza Rice?

Well here is a "fun" video that MediaMatters has flagged for us! It begins with Terrible Michelle Obama and Terrible Eric Holder speaking about the 60th anniversary of Brown v. Board of Education. We are sorry to report this, but Holder claims there is still racism in this country, as if! And Obama doubles down with the total lie that schools attended primarily by children of color are not as good as rich white schools. How could that even be! Racism is over, everyone knows that! Luckily, Sean Hannity and his panel of total cocks (plus Deirdre Imus!) are here to set the record straight, and to wish that Michelle Obama would be a little less of a total hosebeast and a little more like Condoleezza Rice, and be grateful for the fact that she is allowed to eat at the Woolworth's lunch counter as if she were an actual human being.

First Deirdre Imus, who the Google tells us is Don Imus's wife and does a lot of autism stuff, makes the rookie mistake of claiming there is still racism and racial discrimination and environmental discrimination (this is true!), like some kind of fag.

"You can't deny that there's racism and racial discrimination," Imus says, before Cock Number One, whose name we do not know, interjects quite manfully, "I'll deny it. I'm denying it right now!" Later, he describes racism as "mythical." Well, obviously. You cannot argue with assertions like that, mostly because the testosterone in his Manly Scrot travels up to his earholes, acting as a protective buffer from having to listen to your stupid black and/or female and/or pussy lib voice. Basically what we are saying is dude is super hot, especially with that gross beard, and someone should probably find out for us who he is so we can give him the proper Wonket lovin' he clearly deserves.

Then Katie Pavlich comes in with a little logic of her own and says it is Barack Obama's fault there is still school segregation because he is against school choice. (They all forgot there was still school segregation when Michelle Obama said it, until Pavlich reminded them it is "President" Obama's fault.)

Then Sean Hannity pretends he does not know that both Obama and Holder were recognizing the 60th anniversary of Brown v. Board, and says he finds it "suspicious" that they both talked about race on the same weekend. Also, Hannity pretends not to know that there is a thing called "structural" racism that isn't about people being all Donald Sterling-y, but in fact recognizes underlying "structural" problems (it's right there in the name!) like children of color being served by poorer schools, or black babies getting suspended eight million times more often than white kids for the same thing, or studies showing that the darker your skin, the longer your sentence. Nope! Very few of those judges and juries say out loud that they do not want Magic Johnson coming to their sportsball arena, so Michelle Obama should STFU and stop racebaiting, problem solved.

[ MediaMatters ]