864 Comments
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eddi-SABH's avatar

Hey! Stop hogging Halloween to yourselves.

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gullywompr's avatar

sound up - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TloYaUCoO-0

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Martini Glambassador's avatar

Adorbs!

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Christopher Thomas's avatar

"When pigs fly."

Should be any day now, now that they can drive.

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PhoenixDogLover's avatar

You can't put lipstick on a pig, but anything else is fair game.

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Enter Ranting's avatar

PIG WIG!

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tehbaddr's avatar

!!!

https://i.imgur.com/Zis15yi.gif

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UVB-76's avatar

Arnold comes out and looks fabulous!!

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tehbaddr's avatar

Ziffel!

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UVB-76's avatar

Has a cowboy outfit too.

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Thalia Is Not Amused's avatar

What cutie patooties! I love that they are completely down to wear pretty much any costume one can think of. Thank you for always putting a smile on my face, darlin.

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Menotsure's avatar

I woke up this morning

And danced a little jig

Cute costumes for Halloween

Beat lipstick on a pig

Waking up to pigs

Is nothing much to fear

Martini always devises

Silk purses from sow's ears.

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Resource NW's avatar

"Do the Puyallup!"

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Thalia Is Not Amused's avatar

As do you, my sweet friend! This gave me a grin, thank you.

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TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

Awwwwwww.

Why do I now want bacon?

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Shocktreatment's avatar

I kinda always want bacon, at least I'm always open to the possibility of bacon...

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Stanta Knows's avatar

That's, I'm makin' bacon. You fiends talked me into it. Not my fault. I'm the victim here.

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Menotsure's avatar

Wait. Is that in the literal or metaphorical sense?

Either way is fine.

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SkeptiKC's avatar

Those land-owning three little pigs never gussied themselves up in togs like these.

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Linda1961 is woke and proud's avatar

Martini, those little piggies are adorable!

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Internet Personae's avatar

Just for today - Puerto Rico is available in the meme chat -

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Bobathonic's avatar

So there you go. Don't put a costume on your cat, put it on your pig.

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RefillingThorsBeer's avatar

or.... you know.... lipstick?

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UVB-76's avatar

That's for donkeys. You put silk hats on pigs.

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Linda1961 is woke and proud's avatar

When Shadow was a kitten, my youngest tried putting a ribbon around his neck to tire into a bow. She was 7, and I warned her not to do it, but let her try. She never tried it again. Shadow was a sweet kitty, but he liked to be nekkid, and was good with defending himself if needed.

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SkeptiKC's avatar

After snuggling up next to me all night long and following the generous filling of his food and water bowls Cat the Ripper took it in his psychopathic feline mind to bite me after I poured myself a cup of coffee. I now have a very red, angry bite to heal up, scar, and blend in with all of Cat the Ripper's other "autographs".

I would sooner play hopscotch across ground glass and then wade through puddles of lemon juice than try to put a Samhain costume on Ripper.

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The Blessed Reverend's avatar

want to do a time share with my cat Daisy - she never draws blood - hardly ever

I'd love to mentor a cat named Cat the Ripper!

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SkeptiKC's avatar

Cat the Ripper is a capricious demon cat. He simply has to be.

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Wayne Allen's avatar

15 years ago we acquired two little void kittens, and gave them color coded collars to help tell them apart. One day the purple collar went missing, so we replaced it. The second went missing. We gave up. The cat never went outside, but 15 years later we still haven't found those purple collars.

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Caepan's avatar

Back when I was a human servant for The Word's Smartest Cat, we decided to make him wear a collar with a bell on it, because as an indoor/outdoor cat he was fond of hunting birds and other smol animals. When he came in that first evening, his collar was off. I looked around our yard, and here the collar was hanging from a low branch, just about cat neck's height. He had managed to figure out how to remove it using that branch. So I retrieved it, and put it back on him.

The next day, when he retuned from his outside cat duties, his collar was gone again. But this time, he made sure to ditch it someplace where we never, ever did find it. After that, we just gave up on making him wear a collar.

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The Blessed Reverend's avatar

and also you still don't know which is which

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TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

A long time ago, back in the days of fillum cameras, Mr S had left his work camera on the dining room table. Our daughter must have got hold of it at one point because there he was at work, processing the pictures and out comes a military thing, another thing, out cat in a doll dress, a military thing…he was a very tolerant cat.

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HerstoryRepeating's avatar

I love that!

20osh years ago, I was attending a seminar, and one of the speakers was clearly surprised, during her power point presentation.

The slide on the screen, was an illustration of the concept she was discussing, and apparently her teenage daughter added a mini car, with a Lego driver, and passengers, in the upper right hand corner , unbeknownst to her.

It is one of my most favorite moments, in the often painfully boring realm of work seminars.

Once she recovered from her surprise, amdst the good natured laughter in the room, she said she was going to leave the little Lego car on the slide, for future presentations.

Those pesky kids, amirite? 😀

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Al Bellenchia's avatar

“Everywhere there's lots of piggies living piggy lives

You can see them out for dinner with their piggy wives”

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User's avatar
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Oct 29, 2024
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tehbaddr's avatar

/goes to Oogle

I did not know about Freddy the Pig. I see no tome regarding Freddy visiting the Smithfield processing plant!

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@Rihilism's avatar

"Now that the Washington Post has hurtled past the New York Times in the contest for whose democracy can die in darkness the fastest, we don’t even know what to do with our longrunning joke about how NYT sucks for everything but food, then we give you a recipe from the NYT."

Democracy just wasn't fit enough to print, sigh.

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MissMuppet's avatar

I am struggling right now with how close this election appears to be. My brain simply can’t process how Fat Hitler could be polling so close to the Vice President. I’m back to vacillating between feeling fairly confident and being in an absolute panic. Seven days feels like an eternity.

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Mojopo's avatar

Evan, you need to check out Neda on TT. Very funny and sometimes cooks. Much better than the NYT. She’s @hijabiluscious here:https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTFsRNfEu/

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ziggywiggy's avatar

A reminder that on Thursday, October 31st we have a Movie Night special event:

𝐇𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐨𝐧 𝐇𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐧.

At an earlier time than the usual Movie Night. 4pm PT / 7pm ET.

https://open.substack.com/pub/ziggywiggy/p/wonkette-movie-night-oct-31-halloween?r=2knfuc&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web

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Stephanie Hobbs's avatar

💙💙💙💙

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OneYieldRegular's avatar

More than any other person on earth, Jeff Bezos makes me think of psychologist Howard Gardner's pioneeringly obvious work on different types of intelligence, which moved psychology away from seeing some people as intelligent and others as not towards a more nuanced view of people - as individuals - demonstrating intelligence in some realms and the lack of it in others.

I mean, kudos to Bezos for developing a massively successful company even if people increasingly hate it - that obviously involved one kind of intelligence. But DAMN, in other realms, he seems a deeply stupid person - see current WaPo case and for another example, his thanking the workers at Amazon upon whose shoulders his 11-minute trip to the top of the sky was made possible.

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Edith Prickly's avatar

I believe massive wealth does something to people's brains. They become hyper-focused on protecting their huge fortunes and lose their instincts for other threats, because they think they can buy their way out of any other situation.

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human being's avatar

Undoubtedly. Wealth, whether its abundance or its absence, certainly affects our brains in many ways. Probably need to be a lucky or exemplary human for it not to affect you negatively, either way.

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Edith Prickly's avatar

Or you have to really work at not letting it affect you.

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Beanz&Berryz's avatar

WAPO does give us a nice illustration of how one institution can in 50 years go from basically saving democracy to fully selling it out. Maybe the sellout has just gone on for the last 10 years since Bezos bought it. I dunno.

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Hello Marion's avatar

Here's a Nice Time post. My 77-year-old dad visited over the weekend, and we had a truly moving bonding moment as we were driving to the best brewery in town. We happened upon a Trump parade. At least 20 vehicles, most of the giant dumb persuasion, festooned with flags, signs, posters, driving slow and honking and otherwise spoiling a lovely billion-degree afternoon in Tucson. We amused ourselves by driving next to them and seeing who could come up with the most gleefully profane epithets to yell out the windows while we vigorously flipped them off. Dad busted out with EL STUPIDO and NAZI COCKSUCKER and managed to not mangle his surgically replaced shoulders while hanging out the window of the jeep to make sure they saw his double birds up close. Ah, what a wholesome family fun day.

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Gary Seven in Space's avatar

Thank your dad for his Service!

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fair_n_hite_451's avatar

Warms my heart that does.

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BECKY's avatar

OK I love that story!

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HI2thDoc's avatar

MAGA insistence on living in a delusional state shows again as they viciously insult the Puerto Rican community which has a sizable presence in swing state PA. Or is MAGA just so fucking over the top stupid? I can't decide.

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HI2thDoc's avatar

McKenzie Scott is universes better than Bezos. Apparently her goodness did not rub off on him.

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fuflans's avatar

makes me sad. if she ever considered him worthwhile, well, he probably was.

wealth makes people monsters.

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Karen Scofield's avatar

Love my Tab's in the morning with Coffee ☕💯👍💙🌊🌊🌊

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carovee's avatar

OT: I just bought tickets for christmas travel and oh my god what a nightmare. I usually use travelocity with no problem but this time the price kept going up as I was going through the process, the website kept hanging up, there were problems with my card, I couldn't log in.

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! I have to come to wonkette to calm down.

Please tell me your favorite way to book air travel.

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Gary Seven in Space's avatar

I look thru the cheapo air sites and then go to the airline itself and usually find the exact same fare.

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Whale Chowder's avatar

I let Mrs. C do it. 😄

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fair_n_hite_451's avatar

This right here. My now-retired wife is my travel agent and takes care of all of that stuff for me.

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Satanic Pancake's avatar

Not sure why, but I now have a craving for pork chops.

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Gary Seven in Space's avatar

Maybe you are psychic? I saw a 'Man vs. Food' last night with ginormous bone out pork chops from some cool steakhouse....it had been marinated for 24 hours....

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Satanic Pancake's avatar

So, anyone have any suggestions on who to vote for this election? So hard to decide.

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fuflans's avatar

i spent two hours in line in a rich white part of chicago - at 10 AM on a monday morning.

still. i only voted for the 4,876 judges because i don't know enough about harris' policy positions.

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Moni le terrible's avatar

Marvin Martian maybe? I hear he wants to blow up the earth. Maybe he won't if elected.

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Gary Seven in Space's avatar

I keep hearing nice things about Marianne Williams...she likes crystals...

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Satanic Pancake's avatar

And I do like saying “Wooooooooo!”

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Shallow state's avatar

"Our menu selections tonight are Chicken Tagine or Shit with Ground Glass."

"I'm thinking ..."

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Gary Seven in Space's avatar

"But Indian is sooo spicy...."

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Satanic Pancake's avatar

Yeah, I’m glad I dropped my ballot in the drop box about a week after I received it in the mail. It’s hard to imagine the type of person who really is undecided at this point. Do they risk drowning if they look up during a rainstorm?

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Gary Seven in Space's avatar

Sheep Libelz

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Satanic Pancake's avatar

Well, turkey libels. Sheep, as per a large animal veterinarian I know, just forget to live sometimes.

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marxalot's avatar

just, what was it? “bags of teeth and eyeballs looking for a way to die”

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Gary Seven in Space's avatar

"So, they just go "Silent"....

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User's avatar
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Oct 29, 2024
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BECKY's avatar

D. I'm embarassed to say out loud I'm voting for Donald Trump. I actually heard someone say that not all of the "I'm embarassed to say the name out loud" voters are voting for trump, some of them are life-long republicans and they're voting for Harris this time and don't want their friends/neighbors/asshole MAGA people to know.

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Gary Seven in Space's avatar

They should spin three times and spit if they say TFG's name...worse than fucking "Beetlejuice".

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Satanic Pancake's avatar

I'm, uh, kind of interested in your newsletter. Tell me more about this reproductive democracy. It's not a Musk thing, is it?

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Oct 29, 2024
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Satanic Pancake's avatar

While I know what you meant, I like to think you were being genteel about participating in fucking democracy.

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Shallow state's avatar

In today's "I told you so" news. A couple of years ago, I was taking our bonehead, beloved pooch, RIP, on daily constitutionals that passed through a small parking lot, where I noticed water constantly seeping from a crack. Eventually I puzzled out that it must be from a leaking water main. I called the city water department to report it and never heard back from them. Fast forward: today the heavy equipment is on site, pavement saws, backhoes, hardhat hole-watchers.

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