Hello, hello. Stories!
Did Donald Trump really ban the AP from the White House because they wouldn’t give him the rights to his idiot raised fist picture from Butler, Pennsylvania, when somebody allegedly tried to clip him? Sounds like it. [Mediaite]
Even (some) Texas Republicans think Bo French, the Republican nominee for Texas Railroad Commissioner, is a fucking racist for his fucking racist tweet about non-white students enjoying the Texas Longhorns game this weekend. They have a line, who knew? That line may be while they’re in the middle of losing a Senate seat to James Talarico, mind you. [JoeMyGod]
Speaking of Talarico, Brendan Carr, Donald Trump’s ugly little hairless chihuahua at the FCC, is screaming and whining and yipping and yapping that Talarico’s interview with Jimmy Kimmel — 9.1 million views and counting! — is a HOAX! HOAX! HOAX! [JoeMyGod]
You should obviously watch it if you haven’t yet.
Jared Kushner, another one of Trump’s ugly little minions, is very upset that Ukraine won’t just roll over and give Daddy Putin the territory he wants. [Kyiv Independent]
Secretary Shitfaced was reportedly desperately desperate for two F-15 crew members who were shot down over Iran to to a TV appearance on Bari Weiss’s 60 Minutes. Sounds about right for the secretary of hair, makeup and masculine insecurity. [CNN archive link]
Tim Scott thinks California is going to seize your children if you don’t like the pronouns the state issues them. [JoeMyGod]
Does Dear Leader deserve all praise and glory for stopping the hurricanes? Sure why not. [JoeMyGod]
Yet another article on how Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney is positioning Canada to become an “associate member” of the European Union. And all because Donald Trump is the most ridiculous loser American president in history. [Wall Street Journal]
Super interesting timing, because the leadership of Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland is meeting today to discuss breaking up the United Kingdom, now that all three of those nations are led by pro-separation parties. They want to hold independence referendums, Scotland and Wales want to join the EU as independent nations, and Northern Ireland wants to reunify with Ireland. [First Post / Times of Israel]
Enjoy these videos and tweets of Kansans booing the shit out of incumbent Senator Roger Marshall, whom they loathe. [JoeMyGod]
Enjoy these videos of football fans ruining Ted Cruz’s weekend with chants of “TED YOU SUCK!” on ESPN’s College GameDay. [JoeMyGod]
It should be noted, speaking of Cruz, and speaking of that Texas game, that James Talarico was able to neutralize the famous Ted Cruz Curse, by being there, and Texas won. [PFSN]
Read about the first night of Céline Dion’s glorious return, in her residency in Paris. [Variety]
OK, you want some movie recommendations? OK!
Watch 9 To 5, for Dolly.
Watch The Best Little Whorehouse In Texas, for Dolly.
Watch Best In Show, for Catherine O’Hara.
Watch Supergirl if you want to, it’s … fine. And it’s streaming on HBO MAX, so if you have that, you won’t waste a cent.
Oh, and did you ever see the wonderful Spanish film Belle Époque? Watch it, you’ll love it, it’s Penelope Cruz and a young hot Jorge Sanz (Spanish actor) and it’s just a delight.
OK more stories when we do some!
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Fat Bear Week post with some fat bears in your hed gif: https://martiniambassador.substack.com/p/celebrate-good-chonk-come-on
And a meme chat: https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/a080e10e-e34b-4492-8fb9-cecadef4a73f
Re the article on outracist (that's a term for an outrageous racist or maybe an out and proud racist; I dunno, it's what my fingers typed) and candidate for Texas Railroad Commissioner (which is an elected position? who knew?!) Bo French, they mention that the gross tweet was accompanied by a picture of "South Asian students cheering in orange gears" and I was quite confused. I guess things are different in Texas, but don't we usually call those outfits "kits?" To me, "students cheering in gears" sounds like they've dressed up at machinery, which would be pretty rad for, like, engineering majors.
It's Monday and I need more coffee.