186 Comments
User's avatar
Mehmeisterjr's avatar

“I am pretty sure that there were nearly enough votes to expel me the day after I was sworn in.”

I'm going to try out that defense the next time I rob a bank.

"Your honor, I am pretty sure that there were enough votes to convict me before I stuck up First Federal."

Expand full comment
Mehmeisterjr's avatar

They do make a perfect Stepford couple, though.

Expand full comment
JAWs's avatar

Are you kidding? Gamrat us probably making sure her local Planned Parenthood has a morning-after pill to prevent any infection of crazy

Expand full comment
Jenibrio Jenificus's avatar

“inoculate the herd”

And that, dear wingnuts, is precisely what your beloved god bothering righteous politicians actually think of you. You are a herd, that they have to inoculate, so that you will swallow their BS.

Expand full comment
JAWs's avatar

"...if you want to be family values hypocrites that's your choice (also par for the course, apparently), because we don't actually have morals police."

Kim Davis is in the back there clearing her throat.

Expand full comment
Jenibrio Jenificus's avatar

If the government dared to edit and use discretion the cries of ZOMG COVERUP would be heard for years. Case in point- Clinton's email thang.

Expand full comment
JAWs's avatar

If only Republicans didn't use up all thier alloted time...

They should stop being cheap and the "unlimited plan" where not only can you get constant "forgiveness", if you act now they throw in free "Hypocrisy Coverage" where you can be the same judgemental dick with no penalty!

Expand full comment
Karen Marie's avatar

Seriously? I would argue that government reports that don't include the kitchen sink are far more of a problem because you have to rely on the writer of the report to truthfully reflect what's in the underlying documents. Without those, you can't judge whether the report is accurate. Just because people with tl;dr-itis freak out at anything over one page doesn't mean that 800-page reports are a problem.

Expand full comment
Karen Marie's avatar

Couldn't possibly be. A records manager always wants all related items in the same pile, not scattered to the four winds.

Expand full comment
House0fTheBlueLights's avatar

Turns out that whole redeeming thing is harder than it looks.

Expand full comment
House0fTheBlueLights's avatar

It's a haiku!

Kevin Cotter has called for gamrat to be censuredAnd Courser expelled

Expand full comment
House0fTheBlueLights's avatar

You know how I can tell God didn't have a plan for me? Because I never got to fuck George Clooney, which would surely have been a sign.

Expand full comment
Vagenda and Pee-ara's avatar

I sure as hell hope so, otherwise what's the point of being a Republican?

Expand full comment
Vagenda and Pee-ara's avatar

Nixon doesn't seem so bad in retrospect.

Expand full comment
Left Coast Tom's avatar

Apparently his campaign ads promised to represent "Lapeer County Values", so maybe the FBI should set up camp there and check things out...

Expand full comment
Left Coast Tom's avatar

Didn't Courser assure everyone, after all this became public, that he was the world's bestest Christian?

Expand full comment