Shamwow Guy Shares Tragic Tale Of YouTube Woe That Inspired His Run For Office
This is clearly all a scam to get us to watch his 'comedy.'
The right is getting better at comedy and it’s making lefties nervous. — Paul Joseph Watson, 2018
If the last thing you heard about Shamwow guy Vince Shlomi (aka Vince Offer) was that he beat up a sex worker over 15 years ago, I’ve got some news for you — he’s running!
Back in November, Shlomi threw his hat in the ring and announced his plans to run for Congress, in Texas, as a Republican, on a platform of general “anti-woke,” hoping to unseat Trump-endorsed incumbent Rep. John Carter. At the time, he cited the murder of Charlie Kirk as his primary inspiration, but it turns out there was something else motivating him as well. You see, as hard as this may be to imagine, Shlomi’s comedy career is not going well, and he believes this is because YouTube is censoring his brilliance by purposely suppressing his “Woke Busters” music video — which currently has under 35,000 views on the site.
To be fair, there’s a lot of competition. There are approximately 3,500 other right-wing parody videos on the site with the same concept and title dating back years, along with multiple right-wing channels called Woke Busters, because why have many jokes when you can have just one?
It is, however, the first search result for “Woke Busters,” which is highly unusual for a video that is supposedly being purposely suppressed.
In a pinned comment on the video, the 61-year-old adult man wrote, “Millions of views on other platforms but not viral HERE because THEY KNOW it helps deprogram people. BTW, check out some of the triggered Wokesters below hatin’ on the video! I think it struck a chord!!!”
It’s not clear what platform it is where he got millions of views. On Facebook he got about 27 likes, though it’s not clear how many views he actually got. On TikTok, he did get about 300K views, and while that’s certainly more (and it’s worth noting that TikTok shows you videos automatically), it’s still not millions. I was unable to even find it on Xitter or the right-wing video sharing site Rumble.
Is it possible that he is lying? Or maybe there is some secret video sharing sight only frequented by the millions of people who are into … this.
Now, we don’t want to accidentally deprogram any of you with the incisive hilarity of this video, so let’s just take a look at some individual bits, shall we?
Speaking of looking at bits, the video kicks off with the line “Is there something creepy looking at your pee-pee” — and features Shlomi in drag ostensibly staring at a young boy’s junk, because of how he thinks trans women are pedophiles.
And yet, the very next line is “Transmission light comes on (???), just check for a dong,” and in the video, a woman comes up and looks under Shlomi’s skirt.
Yes, because it’s not creepy if you’re just lifting up a random woman’s skirt for a quick genitals check.
If you are wondering what it is that the “Woke Busters” do in the event that a penis is located it is … shoot them in the face with a hose of Diet Coke and Mentos. Classy!
The vast majority of the video is of course devoted to anti-trans hysteria — including a particularly bizarre scene in which Shlomi rescues the same young boy from being forced to go through a sex change against his will, as if this is something that is actually happening in the world — but it really is a veritable cornucopia of practically every paranoid right-wing delusion on earth. For instance, he also steals a very well-known Family Guy joke to suggest that colleges are just straight up giving out degrees to anyone with a sufficient amount of melanin.
In another scene, a man gives flowers to a woman at work, while Shlomi screeches, “You wanna be true, but she’s claiming #MeToo,” as the woman so cruelly reports him to an HR rep who then hits the man in the face with the flowers.
I mean, it’s time someone took a stand for sexual harassment in the workplace, am I right?
Next up, a guy I’m pretty sure is supposed to be Kanye is sitting on a park bench while Shlomi (who, by the way, is Israeli), asks, “Are they canceling you because you’re anti-Jew?” and FBI agents … steal his clothes?
Apparently it’s a bad thing to not like someone just because they are a raging anti-semite who goes around praising Hitler on the regular. Who knew?
In another scene, a skinny blonde white girl is forced to do modeling with average-sized Black women in lingerie.
I’m partial, however, to the scene in which a lady Woke Buster shoots Diet Coke and Mentos at the concept of “Liberal Arts,” which Shlomi apparently thinks means “politically liberal arts” and not, you know, English, Social Studies, History and other classes we can assume he did not do particularly well in, judging by this video.
So, I hate to ask … but have you been deprogrammed? Because I think it just might not work on me. Although I do feel like I learned a little more today about the imaginary things conservatives are mad about.
I also took some time to learn about Vince Shlomi’s platform as a candidate, and the proposed bills he lists on his website.
End XXX on X: “X should not be in the pornography business. The normalization of porn fixates young people on sex instead of focusing on academics, friends, sports, family and god,” he wrote. Shlomi knows what he’s talking about here. After all, Twitter debuted in 2006, and just three years later he found himself arrested for physically assaulting a sex worker.
Woke Buster Big Tech: “Google and Youtube covertly suppress conservative content while promoting woke ideology to young children. This produces hate and fear. This bill will force all platforms to be transparent & open source so they don’t destroy our children’s mind.” Multiple studies have actually shown that YouTube is more likely to recommend right-wing videos, which many consider to be a primary cause of the increase in right-wing radicalism among young men.
Healthy Screen Act: “Children 12 & under shall only be shown content that teaches them healthy entertainment, life skills, problem solving, real activities & values that involve friends, family country & God. We’re going to make fewer blue haired communists and more Red Blooded Americans!” Oh my god, why are they so obsessed with blue hair?
Parental Class View: “I will put video monitoring systems in all classrooms from kindergarten to 5th grade. This allows parents handing their child off to a stranger at school to see & hear what they are learning about. This keeps kids pure & keeps them from being indoctrinated with sexual & woke absurd ideologies.”
The ‘Thoughtism’ Bill: “Thoughtism is a word I coined that means ‘hating someone on the basis of their views or thoughts.’ Similar to racism, where they hate you for the color of your skin. Crimes or illegal actions directed at conservatives & liberals will be elevated to a hate crime when the illegal act or crime is motivated by ‘Thoughtism.’” Yes, because it sure is terrible when people dislike people based on … who they are as people.
So … would it be “thoughtism” for Vince Shlomi to assault those he disagrees with using a firehose of Diet Coke and Mentos? Or is that different? It seems like he hasn’t quite thought “thoughtism” through. Perhaps he ought to just stick to selling rags on late night television and leave the thinking and the comedy to the experts.
PREVIOUSLY ON WONKETTE!
I am going to write a very moving essay titled "Am I A Thoughtist?" in hopes of getting it published as a guest editorial at The New York Times. Or failing that, the Federalist.
It's a scam! Wow.