Sh*tbird Losers Who Lost Lol

All the schadenfreude that’s fit to print!

Original photo by Vitaly Gariev on Unsplash, un-Republicaned by Dok.

The last 48 hours or so have been pretty exciting, mostly on account of the way almost all of the red outposts in the country have been flipped blue after two miserable years of secret police, widespread corruption and political grifting being done right out in the open, top-down racism seeking out the gutter racists and catching the rest of us in the middle, the federal government getting dismantled by an inbred billionaire freak and his cadre of bug-eyed creeps with names like Big Balls, and a whole lot of other shit!

That was one hell of a sentence!

The prospect of putting a decisive stop to all that nonsense is pretty great. It’s also so much fun watching the Democratic Party start talking about investigations, and committees, and accountability, and seeing the GOP, to a person, recoil!

And oh, the whining is superb. Put it right into my veins. Don’t ever stop.

But there’s another, related benefit that I think might be even better, at least for those of us who are motivated by venom and spite. It’s not just about watching decent people win these races. It’s also all about watching some of the most loathsome people in the country decisively lose when they weren’t prepared to lose, and panic when they realize that not even their conspiracy theories will save them now!

Here’s a smattering of some of the more satisfying losses I’ve clocked so far, but I will definitely be updating this with the most satisfying meltdowns I come across over the next few days.

• Brandon Herrera (lost Texas 23rd Congressional; far right gun nut, hangs out with Kyle Rittenhouse, Mein Kampf fan who loves to make “ironic” Nazi jokes, loser.)

• Max Miller (lost Ohio 7th; former Trump adviser and current alleged domestic abuser who then went on the campaign trail to say his ex-wife “isn’t all there,” loser.)

• Scott DesJarlais (lost Tennessee CD 4; looks like a human thumb, has a stupid capital letter in the middle of his last name, completely against abortions unless he’s pressuring his mistress to have one, racist Trump bootlicker, loser.)

• Andy Biggs (lost Arizona governorship; mean and racist and dumber than dogshit, has no business having any sort of power, loser.)

• Bree Moeggenberg (Michigan Board of Education; batshit insane far-right anti-trans freak who is obsessed with thinking about the genitals of little kids, Moms for Liberty shill, loser.)

• Kris Kobach (lost Kansas attorney generalship; a horrible person, piece of racist shit, the legal architect of so many miseries that have been inflicted on all of us but especially immigrants of color, because he’s the asshole behind all the “non-citizen voting” nonsense we have had to endure for years and years, a filthy Tanton network shill, has a face like an anus, leeeeeeeeeeeeewser.)

Photo un-Kobached by Dok, you’re welcome!

Runners-up: Election deniers, Libs of TikTok, Laura Loomer lol.

I am running out of daylight here, but there are so many other people whose losses and discomfort I am glorying in today! It feels so good! There’s nothing that I love more than the United States taking a big heaping shit on the heads of a bunch of racist and misogynist cocksuckers.

Will they get the message? Of course not! But now we know what they are, so we can do it again, and again, and again. Or just never stop.

Let’s all find the closest white supremacist scum to us right this second and tell them to their faces how bad they suck and then laugh at them when they cry.

LOSERS!