SHUT UP! The GOP Is Not Panicking About Impeachment Poll Numbers, YOU LIE!

LOL, they totally are.

If you build it, they will come. Whether it's a baseball diamond or a case for impeaching the president of the United States, if you put in the work, the people will come around. Well, not the 35 percent of the country that falls into Trump's basket of diehard deplorables -- your drunken uncles are gone and they're never coming back. But our fellow citizens who aren't irredeemably brainwashed by Rupert Murdoch are slowly but surely coming to their senses.

In fact, a full 58 percent of them support the impeachment investigation according to a Washington Post-Schar School poll released yesterday. That's a full 20 percent swing over the summer, including among Republicans, whose opposition decreased from 59 percent in July to 38 percent last week. Here, have a look at the ugliest chart in the world.

Sorry for making your eyeballs bleed there. It says that once Americans saw that transcript of Trump's Ukrainian shakedown phone call, a whole lot more of them were ready to impeach the motherfucker already. And for all we know Donald Trump is right this very moment shit tweeting about the JEFF BEZOS AMAZON WASHINGTON POST FAKE NEWS -- we tapped out of his Tweets about lunchtime to protect our own mental health (and our ability to concentrate in synagogue this evening) -- but we note that the Schar School is at George Mason University , which is hardly a hotbed of liberalism.

The poll has some even more interesting data points -- and by interesting, read "likely to make President Great and Unmatched Wisdom shit his diapers." While 86 percent of Democrats and 57 percent of independents surveyed support the impeachment investigation, a full 28 percent of Republicans also feel that Adam Schiff might actually have a point. Turns out brazenly asking multiple foreign governments to help you get reelected is kind of a bad strategy. Who knew!

So while Mick Mulvaney is telling Donald Trump that he's going to win 45 states in 2020 if Democrats go ahead and impeach him in the House, the facts on the ground tell a different story. Or, as Axios's Jonathan Swan put it, "His view appears to be based more on instinct than polling data." LOL, remember when Mulvaney told Trump if he just released the transcript of his call with President Zelinskiy it would catch Democrats off guard and shut this whole impeachment thing right down? Definitely go with Mulvaney's political instincts -- he's not a savant like Jared, but he's close!

But maybe the Post-Schar poll is an outlier. The week before, Monmouth found that only 49 percent of Americans supported impeachment, although this was an increase of 9 percent over August and didn't take into account the numerous revelations during the first week of October about Trump's accomplices at the White House, State Department and DOJ. Here's a snapshot of Monmouth's findings.

There has been an increase in the number of Americans who say it is a good idea for the House Judiciary Committee to conduct an inquiry which may or may not lead to impeachment. This currently stands at 49%, which is up from 41% in August. Those who say such an inquiry is a bad idea is now 43%, down from 51% in August. Most Democrats feel it is a good idea for Congress to take this course of action (79%, up from 72% in August). They are joined by nearly half of independents (47%, up from 39% in August) and about 1-in-6 Republicans (16%, up from 8% in August). Among those who have heard a lot about reports that Trump asked Zelenskiy to investigate Biden, 56% say the inquiry is a good idea and 40% say it is a bad idea.

Well! Clearly the trend line for Trump is NOT GOOD, and the more people find out about his attempt to shake down the Ukrainian president for dirt on Joe Biden, the more they approve of the House impeachment inquiry. No wonder the State Department called EU Ambassador Gordon Sondland at 12: 30 a.m. and told him he was not allowed to testify today before Congress. Then they impounded the messages he sent on his personal cell phone and via email because the House Permanent Select Commitee on Intelligence (HPSCI) is NOT ALLOWED to find out what he said in person after he texted "no quid pro quo" and then "call me." Luckily, the House immediately issued a subpoena for Sondland's testimony and his texts. And Gordon Sondland may be a grasping hack, but he's not a fool. Nor is he someone who can't afford his own, competent lawyer and is dependent on the RNC to fund his defense.

NO PANIC! NO PANIC! YOU ARE THE GUTWRENCHING PANIC GRIPPING THE ENTIRE GOP!

[ Post Poll / Monmouth Poll / NBC ]

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