234 Comments
User's avatar
Martha Howell's avatar

Did Obama really cut into the "Celebrity Apprentice"? Just adds to the grievance list, along with being Black, being Black and smart, Harvard, the Correspondents dinner dress-down, climbing stairs with ease, and how Trump needled him for a decade and never got more than a frowny "WTF is it NOW?" face out of him. It's a heavy cross Trump must bear.

RRJKR's avatar

Sadly, the only way to keep the Strait of Hormuz open will be to station ground troops to prevent iranians from launching attacks from close proximity. As it stands now there is less than 30 seconds to take any defensive action Any guesses as to who these troops will be?

Joe Christmas's avatar

They died for metrics. And make sure you’ve got a doctor who can diagnose bone spurs.

NH is for 🦡🍄🐍's avatar

Let’s say we bombed EVERY SINGLE Iranian weapon into powder. Every plane, boat, missile, drone, and person trained to use them. And then left, crowing “Mission Accomplished!” Is there ANY rational person who thinks a ruined, destitute, impoverished, starving Iran is just going to magically transform into a peace-loving democracy? Of course not…they will HAAATE us even more than they hate us now. Sure maybe some people will benefit from a transition, most likely those already rich or powerful enough to have a backup plan. The masses whose hearts and minds we would need to win to achieve any actual change in the country will lose, and will know who is to blame. And as we’ve seen in EVERY FUCKING CONFLICT SINCE WWII, poor people with nothing to lose, especially those motivated by religious extremism, will strike back asymmetrically. Keep your heads on a swivel folks.

Dudley Didwrong's avatar

"This is a clear set of objectives. The president has given us every capability we need to accomplish that."

Hey, Hegseth. Why is the Dimwit-in-Chief asking now for billions of dollars more for this war, if what you said is true, that you have "every capability" courtesy of that MFIC? Your "Donald's and Pete's Great Iran Adventure" is taking bread from the hungry, resources from hard-working and hard-strapped US citizens, and has bypassed the constitutional processes that now have made much of the US Congress into a bunch of gutless eunuchs. It is turning the US further into being a joke punch line.

Finish the job--my ass. Just go finish your present bottle that's stashed in your desk drawer and crawl back under a rock.

Opalescent Riddles's avatar

>>HEGSETH: A dishonest and anti-Trump press will stop at nothing, we know this at this point, to downplay progress, amplify every cost and call into question every step. Sadly, TDS is in their DNA.<<

And STI is in your BVD, SECDEF OPSEC FUBAR. You are such a thirsty poseur, flipping that skateboard into your balls at every opportunity. Your bleating that the umpire is against you not change the clear view from the stands that you can't fucking call a play that the other team hasn't already outmatched.

Bitter Scribe's avatar

My biggest fear at this point is that as the Strait of Hormuz remains closed, gas prices will continue to climb and a panicky Trump will start screaming at Hegseth to do something about that fucking strait. And Hegseth will scream at the generals and admirals to do...God knows what. This will not end well.

Sherry's avatar

Iran!! Grrrr bad theocracy! In Jesus name..

Yes let’s bring back measles, polio and the bloody Crusades. What could possibly go wrong?

Comrade Morticia's avatar

"... amplify every cost..." Ahem. Pardon me, Hegseth, you appalling fucking war criminal. I would just like to pop my head up from here in rural Australia where today I paid $2.54 a litre for petrol. I believe that there are 3.5 litres in a gallon so we are now paying $8.89 a gallon for fuel. Amplify that you bloody sociopathic dipshit and fuck right off.

M-X's avatar

I think he and his ilk propose and act out these pathological dreams *because* they know they can't be sent to the ICC. WE NEED TO FIX THAT. Rot in cold cell forever, in NL.

lotsacatsndogs's avatar

They can't be sent, but if they ever leave the US they're fucked.

M-X's avatar

I may and you may wish it but that happening? :-(

lotsacatsndogs's avatar

He may want to go abroad someday well in the future and get snatched for war crimes is what I fantasize about. Ditto Miller, Noem, et al. See Roman Polanski... A fantasy, yes, but hope springs!

RRJKR's avatar

"Can't we get this thing fired up enough to justify postponing the midterms?" -DJT

Dudley Didwrong's avatar

Hegseth: "Workin' on it, Sir."

Fifth Dentist's avatar

Petey should make a trip over to see the troops.

"Hey, Pete, can you say fragging? Sure you can!"

RRJKR's avatar

Mr, Secretary, you can get a better view of things if you stand there right in front of that .50 cal.

Wokey McWokeface's avatar

They died for your oversized truck, kids.

Antifa Commander's avatar

Epic Fury is different. It’s laser-focused.

ON WHAT? WHAT IS THE FUCKING OBJECTIVE?

Sherry's avatar

They pulled out the “objectives” because the press has been calling for it. That’s it. That’s reason. Spoiler they have no idea what the objectives are.

pstokk's avatar

Netanyahu staying in office and out of jail.

RRJKR's avatar

TRump also too!

RRJKR's avatar

Apparently "Fury"

Sister Artemis's avatar

There are worse things about that presser, but the bit at the end about praying to Jesus, on bended knee no less, really sticks in my craw. Probably sticks in Thomas Jefferson's too. And Secretary WarCrimes obviously thinks he's doing god's work, which brings me to this:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1neCwwmw4Xkx_9M7nKjgGXgYb-xcA8-cK/view?usp=drive_link

counterlife's avatar

Leonard Cohen's Anthem has been on my mind lately, especially this:

"I can't run no more

with that lawless crowd

while the killers in high places

say their prayers out loud.

But they've summoned, they've summoned up

a thundercloud

and they're going to hear from me. "

RRJKR's avatar

If Jesus were to show up at Pete's next presser and start preaching his "radical leftist" ideas, he would be arrested immediately and whisked off to an ICE detention facility..

counterlife's avatar

No detention, just crucify him in the street. That's the ICE way.

RRJKR's avatar

Old Joke. Jesus shows up at a church and starts preaching The Minister turns to the deacon and says,"Go get the hammer and nails, that troublemaker is back!"

RRJKR's avatar

Likely that Hegseth's kid will develop a serious drug problem, Having Pete for a Dad could surely make a kid want to stay stoned most of the time.

tehbaddr's avatar

"If this was anything other than a failure and a shitshow, they would be riding that caterpillar train of dicks."

Interlaced with assholes, thus making it one big Daisy Chain!

RRJKR's avatar

Sounds like something King Pervert Donnie would thoroughly enjoy. Perhaps at a secluded private island?