Sicko Pete Hegseth Telling His Kids The Troops Died For Them
What a disgusting freak.
Another day, another Iran WAR SECRETARY OF WARFIGHTING presser from Pete “Secretary Shitfaced” Hegseth. He began this one by yet again whining and moaning that the Fake News wasn’t sufficiently bathing his Supreme Excellency Donald Trump’s balls with saliva and praising him for the Iran war he and his WARFIGHTER secretary of WAR, SIR, YES SIR! have blunderfucked their way into.
But in this one he did some new, particularly gross things.
Like toward the end, when he told the (allegedly true, possibly a lie) story of how he told his 13-year-old son that the troops who are dying to keep Donald Trump’s and Hegseth’s dicks hard — and maybe for Hegseth to start some kind of Christian Nazi Crusade — died instead for him. And by him, he meant his son. That these troops who died because of shitty planning and execution of a war nobody besides war criminal Benjamin Netanyahu asked for and the world didn’t need died for Pete Hegseth’s son.
Watch. You’ll recoil if you have a functioning moral compass:
HEGSETH: My 13-year-old son popped into my office last night while I was editing these remarks. He asked about the war and the families I met at Dover. And I looked at him and I said, they died for you, son, so that your generation doesn't have to deal with a nuclear Iran.
Yeah, that’s some sick shit. Hopefully one day his son will realize that.
And no, they didn’t, Pete Hegseth, you blameshifting, no-responsibility-taking little bitch. For one thing, a real president and a real man, Barack Hussein Obama, negotiated a nuclear deal with Iran over 10 years ago that was working. Indeed, it was one of his greatest foreign policy accomplishments, aside from that time he was the guy who killed Osama bin Laden and announced it during The Celebrity Apprentice. So spoiler alert, Barack Obama was protecting Hegseth’s son from a nuclear Iran long before Deadbeat Dad even tried and fucked it all up! And then Donald Trump, the vilest, stupidest, saddest excuse of a human ever to hold the presidency, ripped up Obama’s deal because he couldn’t stand that Obama had accomplished yet another thing he hadn’t.
Loser would have brought Bin Laden back to life so he could try and presumably fail to kill him again if he could.
The world is far more dangerous because of what Trump and Hegseth have done, and Hegseth’s son has to live in that far more dangerous world, because his dad is a fuckup and a loser who’s totally out of his league, who measures his masculinity by how many things he makes go boom, even if they’re little girls’ schools going boom, and because Donald Trump is such a goddamned defective moron. How bad? Read this article from Ilan Goldenberg, a former US official who used to wargame Iran for the Obama administration. “This is the worst-case scenario,” he writes for Zeteo.
It’s that bad. (And the only winner is Putin. Surprise!)
But hey, if the troops died for Pete Hegseth’s son, did those little schoolgirls Daddy bombed die for him too?
Just asking.
At the beginning of the presser, Hegseth tried out an impersonation of human emotion, describing his experience witnessing the dignified transfer of troops’ bodies at Dover Air Force Base. And he said the people there, the families of the fallen, told him, “[F]inish this. Honor their sacrifice. Do not waver. Do not stop until the job is done.”
Did that happen? Well, he didn’t tell it as a “sir” story like his boss does — put a pin in that thought — so who knows. But an interview with family members of one of the fallen troops sure does suggest it’s a lie.
Charles Simmons is the father of 28-year-old fallen hero Tech Sgt. Tyler Simmons, who was killed in the refueling plane crash in Iraq last week. He said he and Hegseth didn’t talk about anything like that.
“I can’t speak for the other families. When he spoke to me, that was not something we talked about,” he told NBC News in an interview Thursday. […]
He said he told the defense secretary, “I understand there’s a lot of peril that goes into making decisions like this, and I just certainly hope the decisions being made are necessary.”
And to be clear, did he say “finish the job”?
“No, I didn’t say anything along those lines.”
Now here’s a funny thing. Because NBC News notes that Donald Trump said almost the exact same thing about his meetings with the families of the first six troops he and Hegseth got killed in Iran for no good reason. And Trump did tell it as a “sir” story, which tells you with 100 percent accuracy that it is a fucking lie:
Trump met with those families in Dover at a ceremony on March 7. Speaking to reporters two days later, Trump said that the families were “unbelievable people” and that “every single one” told him the same thing: “Finish the job, sir. Please, finish the job.”
Bull. Fucking. Shit. NBC News even reports that an official who heard Trump talking to the families didn’t hear anything of the sort.
We are left to conclude that Pete Hegseth is so fucking pathetic he’s copying “sir” stories from Trump. That’s how far up Stupid Hitler’s asshole his tongue is.
Seems like a good time to hop back into the presser, specifically Hegseth’s whiny ass titty baby fuckin’ bitching about waaaaaaah fake news.
HEGSETH: A dishonest and anti-Trump press will stop at nothing, we know this at this point, to downplay progress, amplify every cost and call into question every step. Sadly, TDS is in their DNA. They want President Trump to fail, but you, the American people, know better.
Christ, is he soft. And a hint: The American media loves war. Has a war boner a hundred dicks long. If this was anything other than a failure and a shitshow, they would be riding that caterpillar train of dicks. They are not. Because Trump has already pretty much lost this war. The only question is how many millions of people will die, how quickly, and how much backlash will redound to our shores.
HEGSETH: The media here, not all of it, but much of it wants you to think just 19 days into this conflict that we’re somehow spinning toward an endless abyss or a forever war or a quagmire.
Nothing could be further from the truth. Hear it from me, one of hundreds of thousands who fought in Iraq and Afghanistan, who watched previous foolish politicians like Bush, Obama, and Biden, squander American credibility. This is not those wars. President Trump knows better. Epic Fury is different. It’s laser-focused.
Operation Pete’s Balls Just Dropped really engenders confidence, you betcha. Never before have we had a wartime Pentagon led by somebody who didn’t really get promoted beyond “hairstyles” during his military career and decided to make his resentment about that his entire personality.
HEGSETH: Our objectives, given directly from our America First president remain exactly what they were on day one.
Objectives? OK.
He babbled and he babbled and he babbled like this. Just absolute word salad about the alleged objectives “we” are accomplishing here. He comes across like a kid who has to write a five-page essay, single-spaced, but hasn’t read the material:
HEGSETH: [A]s we’ve said, we’re on plan. So, we’re looking at those metrics very closely, relaying that to the president and the national security team, but feel confident that as, again, we’re — more stand in means we’re over the top even further in and we have even more of an exact sense of what we’re striking and why and even more dynamically, meaning because the intelligence improves, we’re able to more quickly identify targets when they — let’s say they come out of an underground facility where they’ve been hiding and able to strike it before it strikes or right after it shoots.
But we are very much on plan, and that’s why I want to speak to the American people here. You hear a lot of noise about widening or new missions or speculation about what we should or should not be doing. This is a clear set of objectives. The president has given us every capability we need to accomplish that.
They’re on plan with the metrics and what they’re striking, dynamically, on plan, not widening, but they’re doing the objectives, with their capabilities, we think that you will agree that yes.
Cool.
He used his words to thump on his white supremacist Crusades tattoos in shows of self-reassuring masculinity. He made “jokes” about how we are sharing the ocean with Iran, and they get the bottom half. (They were not his personal jokes. He is not that creative.)
He hallucinated or just made up 47 years of Iranian attacks on the United States.
He referred to Steve Witkoff and Jared Kushner — Trump’s two real estate dipshits currently serving as the real secretary of State — as “our two best folks.” (You heard the latest on Jared’s corrupt self-dealing off Trump’s wars? Boy howdy holy fuck.)
And like the radical Christian extremist cleric he is, he finished with this:
HEGSETH: May almighty God continue to bless our troops in this fight. And again to the American people, please pray for them every day on bended knee with your family, in your schools, in your churches, in the name of Jesus Christ.
Look away, kids, the Secretary of WAR! just jizzed all over his Jerusalem Cross. And it’s no wonder that according to some reporting, certain military commanders are feeling free to let their Christian nationalist terrorist flags fly.
Here’s Shitfaced’s full presser, it’s sick fucking garbage.
[transcript / NBC News]
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And my son (who is a cat, a big, strong cat, with handsome looks right out of central casting) looked at me, with tears in his eyes and said "that meme that the official government Department of War posted with two clowns slapping each other with a fish overlaid with a big explosion effect at the end, they did that for me, Mom! Truly, they are inspiring and serious and so very manly. The press and the world must say those very things." And then he ate the fish.
" they died for you, son, so that your generation doesn't have to deal with a nuclear Iran."
Prove to me that this is not stolen from John Wayne 's ending dialog with a Vietnamese boy in The Green Berets