“Capital is dead labor, which, vampire-like, lives only by sucking living labor, and lives the more, the more labor it sucks.” — Karl Marx
“Sitting,” the hit indie pop song by actor/comedian/writer/producer Brian Jordan Alvarez, is sweeping the nation thanks to a stunning remix by producer Josh Mac. Its philosophical and political impact will be unmatched by any other song, ever.
A masterpiece in the tradition of Rage Against the Machine, Gil Scott-Heron, Woody Guthrie, Public Enemy, Billy Bragg, and that episode where the Rugrats taught us about Passover, “Sitting” encourages us to resist the oppressive weight of the overcultural superstructure through an act of rebellion.
If you don’t know what I’m talking about, I invite you to listen to this anti-capitalist paen to rest on TikTok, Instagram, Spotify and/or Apple Music.
We are overworked and underpaid. In this season of strikes, where sectors of the American populace continue to organize and rise up against unjust labor practices, TJ Mack’s words vibrate with the allure not just of what could be, but of what will be - if only we keep up the fight.
This song is making the rounds of all the standard corporate social media platforms, but make no mistake: it is a Trojan horse full of anti-capitalist sentiment.
Welcome to the “Sitting” revolution.
The song began life as an a cappella and probably-mostly-improvised song by Alvarez in the guise of his international pop star character TJ Mack, who exists amidst a panoply of other icons in what fans have dubbed the Brian Jordan Alvarez Cinematic Universe (BJACU).
TJ Mack has a deeply loyal and near-constantly enraged wife to whom he is devoted and of whom he may be deeply afraid. While I can’t speak to her motivations, I can say that Alvarez’s choice of Snapchat filter is particularly brilliant here. This character would surely leave Lady Macbeth shaking in her little Renaissance-era boots or whatever the fuck those people wore.
As an aside, I would let this woman step on me until my blood splatter melded effortlessly with the red bottoms of her Louboutins. She is the abusive girl boss gatekeeper we’ve been waiting for.
Are these passionate lovers also proud Colombian Americans? Alvarez surely is. He’s also a son of the great state of Tennessee, which influenced a whole host of his other characters (they’re archived as highlights on his Instagram profile.)
Alvarez is a seasoned stage and screen performer. He got beat down by Miss M3gan herself in 2022’s “M3GAN,” the best romcom to come out since Miss Flo did what she do in 2019’s “Midsommar.” He was Jack’s hot fiancee on the sequel series or reboot or whatever we call those things (I am tired and that part of my brain is on strike) of “Will and Grace.”
Speaking of us all being on strike, Alvarez also wrote the pilot “English Teacher,” which I have neither seen nor read but which needs to be given a 55 episode first season order. THIS IS NOT ME PROMOTING ANY OF MY OWN WORK OKAY? I’m a proud member of the Writers Guild of American and the Screen Actors Guild and WE ARE NOT DOING THAT RIGHT NOW.
But I had nothing to do with Alvarez’s project (I did teach high school English though, cute!) and I think I am still allowed to SCREAM AT EXECUTIVES TO DO THE RIGHT THING! I don’t care if it’s not at FX anymore, put it somewhere else you FUCKS. The cast is siiiiiick.
Alvarez typically puts up excellent numbers across social media, and presumably makes a killing over on Cameo, where his characters deliver personalized messages as gifts to your friends and you (honestly upsetting no one has bought me one yet from Marnie T., his horribly manipulative self-aggrandizing self-help guru, BUT WHATEVER). Still, “Sitting” is one of those truly bananas viral situations.
Alvarez’s TJ Mack often delivers random songs direct to camera while hanging out in an apartment or walking to his favorite stores, TJ Maxx and Ross.
The original a capella version of “Sitting” went up on September 10th and has racked up 540,000 views as of this writing. It’s doing great online, but it’s also gotten airtime on old-fashioned, real-deal, terrestrial Australian radio and U.S. radio, and has already inspired countless remixes, cover versions, and odes.
Which naturally brings me to the moment we must analyze its lyrics from a philosophical and political perspective.
Sitting, sitting is the opposite of standing
Sitting is the opposite of running around
Sitting is a wonderful thing to do
Because you’re sitting
Sitting is the opposite of standing on your head
Sitting is the opposite of hanging from a bar but
Sitting is a wonderful thing to do
I got one thing to say
I think that sitting is
Something that people say it is bad.
But you know that sitting is actually good
Because you deserve to relax.
It’s kinda like a nap
It’s kinda like something else
But it is actually just
Sitting, sitting is the opposite of standing
Sitting is the opposite of running around
But you deserve to sit
Imagine: sitting and not typing or doing anything. Just sitting. Not because you’re indolent or slothful or “lazy,” not because you haven’t done work to support yourself, your family and your community, but because you do, indeed, deserve to sit.
It’s also honestly just a fucking banger, and it’s the weekend, so chill the fuck out and listen to this perfect ridiculous song.
I shall do so whilst…sitting.
As perhaps the only serious aside in this essay, I sincerely encourage you to get to know Tricia Hersey’s work through The Nap Ministry. Anyway, Pulitzer Prize nominations for my literary criticism go in the comments section of this essay. Have a good one!
There's a reason most of the Wonkette authors don't interact much in the notcomments, and its a sad one: people get pretty bent out of shape and cranky toward authors.
Since when do we get offended because one of us calls another one of us "babe" or "D00d" or even ... "wrong"?
Sara Benincasa has her own style. Doesn't mean it has to be the same thing as what other authors do. She also has a long history at Wonkette and, if I recall correctly despite my mild case of scrapy, she helped set Wonkette's unique prose style. I am glad to see her byline back again, but OK, fine, not every post by every member of the Wonkette masthead is always to my taste. (Occasionally Evan's focus on the penises of evil people depresses me a little. I love Dok, but I got tired of the My Little Pony thing long before he did. Whatever.) So it goes.
Sara, you do understand that most of the Wonkette nation are aging boomers that have no fucking clue what the fuck you are going on about, don't you?