Yes, a terrible person is heading off to prison. The commenting rules remain in effect, and this is where I remind you that means no hilarious jokes about prison rape, dropping the soap, or Bannon's becoming some other prisoner's bitch.
It goes without saying that Steve Bannon is a horrible person and you don't have to say anything nice about him. But we pretend to be civilized around here, so keep that in mind as well, please. Don't make me come down there and turn off the comments.
Absolutely not going to relax that. It's rape. Who wants to be in favor of rape, exactly? What's the case to be made in favor of having a lot of rape jokes here?
Would "I hope he is kept safe from prison violence of any form by being kept in solitary for his entire stay" count as promoting cruel punishment? Yeah I guess so. Consider it retracted, I hope he is in the general population with access to his peers for some human interaction. nobody deserves long term solitary confinement.
I may or may not be hedging here. While I wish USA prison on no-one, thinking about the two possible outcomes is not unpleasant. Either he is safe in solitary and loses his mind from social isolation, or he is in the general population and interacts with these simple criminals. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons. No wait, I just realized the other prisoners don't deserve to suffer like that. Man, choosing which punishment is best is hard when you don't believe in punishment!
Also, just on a point of pedantry- Bannon cannot actually handle soap in the first place. The day-to-day means of keeping him, well "clean" maybe too strong a word but "less... that" is a simple keel-hauling, where the barnacles on his body are finally able to flee back to their own kind on the hulls of ancient boats, there to breed.
I have a friend who does a very credible Astarion impersonation whenever he answers the phone. It never fails to crack me up. Kindergarten humour at it's finest.
I wonder if he thinks he walks out four months later just to take up where he left off?
Four months is an eternity in political punditry, and there's a lot of thirsty fuckers out there ready, willing, and able to fill the void caused by the loss of Bannon's voice.
I doubt if anyone's going to hold his place for him while he stews in the slammer.
i’m confused, if he didn’t succeed in his final appeal how is it that he’s got some sort of shot tomorrow … must be that final judgement that all R’s seem to leverage into a win … i guess there is no finality in our legal system … i’m sure alex jones has paid off all his judgements by now …
Oh lordie, they don't need any help. I have volunteered as quarry for search and rescue bloodhounds. They picked up a days-old track of mine with their only scent article being a Kleenex that I had picked up with two fingers.
i’m confused, if he didn’t succeed in his final appeal how is it that he’s got some sort of shot tomorrow … must be that final judgement that all R’s seem to leverage into a win … i guess there is no finality in our legal system … i’m sure alex jones has paid off all his judgements by now …
Did Bannon have to return the money he stole in his Wall grift? Or did the pardon erase that theft too. Although most of the MAGA cult don't care because it still owned the libs. Who don't care if these idiots lose their life savings in a MAGA scam except it seems like the MAGA leaders seem to profit from it.
Obligatory moderator note:
Yes, a terrible person is heading off to prison. The commenting rules remain in effect, and this is where I remind you that means no hilarious jokes about prison rape, dropping the soap, or Bannon's becoming some other prisoner's bitch.
https://www.wonkette.com/p/rules-for-commenting-radicals
It goes without saying that Steve Bannon is a horrible person and you don't have to say anything nice about him. But we pretend to be civilized around here, so keep that in mind as well, please. Don't make me come down there and turn off the comments.
Can I say that Bannon being in prison will lower the tone of the place?
very much so.
Non-moderator note: if anyone makes a joke about prison rape I will post this link. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide_of_Rodney_Hulin
Hey Dok! OT, got a story for you:
"Herd of 170 bison could help store CO2 equivalent of almost 2m cars, researchers say"
https://www.theguardian.com/environment/article/2024/may/15/bison-romania-tarcu-2m-cars-carbon-dioxide-emissions-aoe
Turns out that rewilded Bison are a keystone species and really promote wildland health and carbon uptake. Who knew?
Thanks! may or may not use, but that's pretty cool!
Indigenous people?
Article says that there were European bison in Romania as late as 200 years ago. So much I never knew!
One thing I DO know is I don't know more than I do know.
What if Donald goes to jail! Same deal?
That should be obvious. We do not allow rape jokes. Why on earth would we?
I certainly hope the rules of non commenting will be suspended just that once. Nah, we can come up with better jokes than the ole drop-the-soap bit.
Absolutely not going to relax that. It's rape. Who wants to be in favor of rape, exactly? What's the case to be made in favor of having a lot of rape jokes here?
No.
Would "I hope he is kept safe from prison violence of any form by being kept in solitary for his entire stay" count as promoting cruel punishment? Yeah I guess so. Consider it retracted, I hope he is in the general population with access to his peers for some human interaction. nobody deserves long term solitary confinement.
if anybody deserves it, the Orange Menace does.
I may or may not be hedging here. While I wish USA prison on no-one, thinking about the two possible outcomes is not unpleasant. Either he is safe in solitary and loses his mind from social isolation, or he is in the general population and interacts with these simple criminals. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons. No wait, I just realized the other prisoners don't deserve to suffer like that. Man, choosing which punishment is best is hard when you don't believe in punishment!
True - we are better than that -
Geez Dok, it looks like your comment about the rules of non-commenting has gotten nearly as many comment as Marcie's post.
Like Bannon knows what soap is...
who knows, in his Florida home he had a bathtub full of lye so perhaps he was making some at home out of something or someone
Nothing sketchy about a bathtub full of lye at home...nothing at all.
Lye, deny, alibi
Maybe he thinks it's a superfood which he avoids because healthy.
"STEVE, CHECK OUT THIS NEW CANDY BAR!"
"Damn, this looks like it came out of a cat!"
NOMNOMNOM!
Is hoping he eats soap going too far? LOL!
I don't even think the guards have a good time in prison. It's simply an awful place.
He is going to hate just being there, if even for a short period.
And he will be sent to a white-collar prison.
It won't be white for long, not around his neck. Or should that be called his upper waist?
Excellent!
At least he will be obliged to wear clean clothes and to shower. He’ll probably hate that.
I’m visualizing the Planet of the Apes shower, with Bannon screaming, “I had a pardon! This is a madhouse! A madhouse!”
Pruno and Nutraloaf, on the other hand...
Prison pizza used to show up here in the non-comments on a regular basis in the old days.
I wish him unpleasant experiences in prison! The exact nature of which I will not specify!
So there. I'll get my vague jollies with a side of nonspecifics.
Heck, I wish him unpleasant experiences no matter where he happens to be.
In a way, he is an unpleasant experience all by himself.
If you've read about prison conditions, that's pretty much guaranteed.
Nonspecific vexing.
I sympathize with the complexities you face doing your job, Dok. You end up having to be specific about the very things you don't want said.
Also, just on a point of pedantry- Bannon cannot actually handle soap in the first place. The day-to-day means of keeping him, well "clean" maybe too strong a word but "less... that" is a simple keel-hauling, where the barnacles on his body are finally able to flee back to their own kind on the hulls of ancient boats, there to breed.
For special occasions he endures a full flense.
That soap would be like “ewww gross I’m not touching THAT”
Bannon is a golem made out of barnacles held together by tapeworms.
WIN!
I, for one, would hate to see what a prison buzz cut would reveal about the condition of his scalp.
I wouldn't be surprised if those hair-like extrusions on his head start bleeding and trying to twist out of the way when they're cut.
"THE RINGWORM IS FLEEING!"
Into his ear hole?
KHANNNNN!
Or RFK Jr.
He'll be fine. I'm sure his bathtub-meth-making skills will be appreciated in the joint.
Toilet Wine!
“Prison’s not so bad. You can make sangria in the terlet”
We have been subjected to his Toilet Whine podcast already.
Is sweet and heady, like my love
Bannon will earn his Bathtub Chef Certification for damn sure. Or Recertification.
He will just have to scale his recipies down from hot tub-sized.
Correction: I meant Toilet Chef Certification but you got the idea already.
But … wasn’t there some gross story about a trashed/toxic bathtub in a rental he vacated?
It was a hot tub in a Florida rental that he vacated.
Thanks all I remembered was a Breaking Bad vibe
Wizard: We pretend to be civilized around here and solve our problems with words.
Paladin: And the law!
Barbarian: Hmmph. You be surprised how many problems are easily solved by hitting thing with big club.
Rogue: He does make an excellent point.
Astarion approves.
I have a friend who does a very credible Astarion impersonation whenever he answers the phone. It never fails to crack me up. Kindergarten humour at it's finest.
Soap and Bannon? Lol
I wonder if he will turn out to be thin after his first bath?
Like bleach and ammonia, probably releases a toxic gas miasma.
Matter and antimatter. BLAM!!
Can we joke about how the delousing is pointless and might, in fact, be fatal to the prisoner in question?
they'll have to bring in the Hazmat team after he's gone
they'll have to bring in the Hazmat team before he even shows up
The skin suit would collapse and stop moving after all of the creepy crawlies tried to slither away.
MiB 1
I'm against the death penalty in principle, yet...
I can't understand how a specimen like Bannon could survive a delousing. It should be fatal for him. By definition.
He is a louse! It would be like making a tick wear a tick and flea collar! Cruel and unusual!
I primarily feel badly for all of those lice that will summarily suffer horrible DTs after being cut off from Bannon's high proof plasma.
Sacrifices must be made.
He will probably be safe from showers anyway.
Anywhere Bannon goes all the running water stops and curls up in fetal position.
Courts: "So, this is what we need to know from you ..."
Bannon: "Nope, not telling!"
Courts: "You are legally obligated to. Otherwise you go to jail."
Bannon: "Nope, not telling!"
Courts: "Okay, you go to jail."
Bannon: "I'm shocked they want to silence the voice of MAGA!"
If I were the Judge, I'd send him up the river just on his looks
Man, that dude is likeUGLY!!
And here it comes "I can't possibly go to jail, I must attend my latest trial"
Ta, Marcie. Too bad; so sad.
Only one shirt in prison, Steve, and they'll probably make you launder it regularly. In fact, I hope that's where they put him to work.
He'll escape. He is indistinguishable from a pile of laundry.
Goodbye, Bannon. We will enjoy your absence.
I wonder if he thinks he walks out four months later just to take up where he left off?
Four months is an eternity in political punditry, and there's a lot of thirsty fuckers out there ready, willing, and able to fill the void caused by the loss of Bannon's voice.
I doubt if anyone's going to hold his place for him while he stews in the slammer.
Four months seems awfully short.
Will they let him wear three jumpsuits?
i’m confused, if he didn’t succeed in his final appeal how is it that he’s got some sort of shot tomorrow … must be that final judgement that all R’s seem to leverage into a win … i guess there is no finality in our legal system … i’m sure alex jones has paid off all his judgements by now …
I believe he can plead that he is an orphan and throw himself on the mercy of the court.
Well, I always scent myself with gin.
Oh lordie, they don't need any help. I have volunteered as quarry for search and rescue bloodhounds. They picked up a days-old track of mine with their only scent article being a Kleenex that I had picked up with two fingers.
i’m confused, if he didn’t succeed in his final appeal how is it that he’s got some sort of shot tomorrow … must be that final judgement that all R’s seem to leverage into a win … i guess there is no finality in our legal system … i’m sure alex jones has paid off all his judgements by now …
Why these lawyers haven't started demanding retainer's I cannot understand.
Did Bannon have to return the money he stole in his Wall grift? Or did the pardon erase that theft too. Although most of the MAGA cult don't care because it still owned the libs. Who don't care if these idiots lose their life savings in a MAGA scam except it seems like the MAGA leaders seem to profit from it.
We? Not me, thats for sure. I'll be doing the opposite of that, whatever that is.
"We’ll mark it on the calendar, put on our three finest shirts, roll around in slop and scent ourselves with gin for the occasion."
I'm sure Bannon's experience in artisanal terlet wine production will serve him well in the joint.
Some people do it out of necessity, but Steve does it purely out of love for the craft.