291 Comments

So "character" means "asshole"?

Expand full comment

I thought of Rick's Cafe myself.

Expand full comment

I was once upon a time, long, long ago, in a galaxy far, far away, a federal employee. I worked for the Small Business Association after Hurricane Agnes flooded central PA. People applied for loans to get whole after their homes or businesses were flood-damaged. The first $5000 was fully forgiven. (That's $5000 in 1972 money.)

There was a card file that was supposed to contain info on every applicant. So many people misused and abused it that it was rendered useless. I took it upon myself to put it all in order, and wrote a manual on how to use it. I did such a bang up job fixing the files that the Big Boss asked me to go through every address that had more than one application, and flag the ones that looked suspicious, so they could be turned over to investigators. I didn't want to bust people or get them in trouble, so I left the claims department, and joined the three Jims and a Kim who made up the supply and vehicle department. We'd split up the work and finish it, then fuck around the rest of the day, having rubber band shooting contests, making paper airplanes and flying them off a parking tower, etc.

We were working 72 hours a week, much of that overtime. That left no time for anything else, so when I left, I really left -- I took a road trip to CA.

PPP should not have given any money to large corporations. I'm all for Wonkette getting its fair share.

Expand full comment

I thought we were the important people in your life. JK, good for you!

Expand full comment

Is there a single aspect of the pandemic that Drumpf or his administration hasn't completely fucked up?

Expand full comment

if you find one, let us know

Expand full comment

keep on with it dude, and know we are here for you too

Expand full comment

That's the best visual I've had in months!

Expand full comment

Yes but those were very important documents; the tremendously, bigly important words of the great man himself.

Expand full comment

Maybe they think they will be needing a presidential pardon soon?More likely, they are undemocratic, authoritarian morons who know they cannot stay in power in a functioning democracy. In most cases, both explanations probably work.

Expand full comment

Nyarlathotep, probably- that's just like His sense of humor.

Expand full comment

Thanks, it's been a long year.

Expand full comment

At least he has competent pals.

Expand full comment

Gotta let her play. This America, man.

Expand full comment

The PPP was a half-baked idea from the jump. The federal government should have just paid workers directly to stay home and created a separate program to help businesses in hospitality, travel, etc. to pay for fixed expenses.

For some reason, the government paying people directly is socialism, but the government paying businesses is not. Nobody has ever come close to explaining why.

Expand full comment

Tom Brady’s scam snake oil company

Expand full comment