Smart Donald Trump Picks Perfect Moment To Seek Legal Vengeance For Staffers' Sex Affair Story

It's like he's a genius, only the opposite of that.

With less than a week to go before the GOP convention in Cleveland, Donald Trump has launched a lawsuit against a former aide whom he accuses of violating a nondisclosure agreement. You have to admire Trump's laserlike focus on what really matters: destroying anyone he thinks is an enemy. Oh, and maybe running for president, maybe he has some time to spare for that, too. So tell us, Associated Press, what the hell is this sideshow all about?

Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump is seeking $10 million in damages from a former senior campaign consultant, Sam Nunberg, alleging that Nunberg leaked confidential information to reporters in violation of a nondisclosure agreement.

In a court filing obtained by The Associated Press, Nunberg accused Trump of trying to silence him "in a misguided attempt to cover up media coverage of an apparent affair" between two senior campaign staffers.

The highly unusual legal dispute reflects Trump's efforts to aggressively protect the secrecy of his campaign's inner workings.

Huh! We can't see any reason why a lawsuit about senior staffers boning like sexed-up hornbunnies could possibly distract the media from what was supposed to be the big Trump story this week, Trump's choice of a running mate. Nope, just a private lawsuit about a nondisclosure agreement, nothing to see here. Donald Trump, please say hello to the Streisand Effect. 

Nunberg was fired last summer when he was accused of making racist posts to Facebook, which of course Nunberg denied. (This was actually the second Time Trump has fired him -- the first was in 2014, after Nunberg set up that fantastic McKay Coppins profile that Trump hated so deeply.)

So what is Trump mad at Nunberg about this time? Let's crib from the Daily Beast, which is a bit less fussy than the AP and gets right to the dirty:

In a court filing obtained by The Associated Press, Nunberg accuses Trump of trying to silence him “in a misguided attempt to cover up media coverage of an apparent affair” between campaign spokeswoman Hope Hicks and former campaign manager Corey Lewandowski.

Hope Hicks and Corey Lewandowski boning? We are pretty darned sex-positive at Yr Wonkette, but we are also quite positive that any sentence containing "Corey Lewandowski" and "boning" would quickly be banned in North Carolina schools. 

 "Oh, Corey!" Hope gasped. "Twist my arm! Tell me I'm a dangerous pen-wielder!" 

So Hicks and Lewandowski were Making America Whoopee Again, fine, but how is Nunberg supposedly tied up in this? (sorry)

The filing cites a May 2016 New York Poststory detailing a public "screaming match" between the pair, quoting several sources to describe the campaign’s “internal discord.”

It is unclear what role Nunberg played in the Post ’s story and how, exactly, he allegedly violated the terms of his confidentiality agreement. But as The Daily Beast reported this year, “the threat of legal action has not stopped Nunberg from speaking his mind about Trump since he was fired from the campaign in August. In December 2015, Nunberg told The Daily Beast, ‘I do not think that he will win.’ Also in 2015, Trump mailed Nunberg a cease and desist notice.”

And when Nunberg began publicly discussing the campaign’s prospects, Trump told The Daily Beast: “[Nunberg] is a highly self-destructive individual who makes routine calls begging for his job back. This is the interview of a desperate person who is trying to hang on and stay relevant.”

Huh. So none of that looks to our decidedly non-lawyerly minds like a violation of an NDA?

Nunberg denies being the source of the Post article, although the AP says the court filing "referred to the quarrel as being part of an 'apparent affair'" -- so Nunberg spilled the beans under oath, we guess.

But wait! There's more! We bet you Wonkers have been saying to yourselves, "Wait, a sleazy story about skullduggery and rampant gross sex-making within the Trump campaign? I cannot believe Roger Stone isn't somehow mixed up in this!" That is because you are one very perceptive reader, O Wonker, and definitely too smart to fall for cheap flattery, too. Mediaite reports that a week before the AP story broke, Stone, the slimy former Nixon Dirty Trickster who wishes he was G. Gordon Liddy but has to settle for being a raving lunatic conspiracy theorist and Trump hanger-on, was trying to peddle stories about the HopeAndowski affair to a tabloid journamalist! (We just coined "HopeAndowski" -- MUST CREDIT WONKETTE!)

[E]arlier this month, The Daily Mail ‘s David Martosko revealed that former Trump staffer Roger Stone was also trying to spread rumors of an affair. Martosko was speculating about Trump’s choice of running mate, when The Daily Caller’s Alex Pappas asked him whether his source was Stone.

“God no,” Martosko responded. “Not since he tried to tell me Corey L. and Hope H. were secret lovers.”

After the news of the lawsuit broke, Martosko confirmed that Stone tried to convince him the Post article was about a lovers’ quarrel.

So much intrigue! And now you will all need brain bleach so you will not be thinking of Roger Stone trying to shop around stories of HopeAndowski sexxing. Also, the most funniest part of this is that since Roger Stone is not employed by the Trump campaign -- a point they make every time Stone does some stupid-ass thing to make the news -- Roger Stone is not likely to get his ass sued by Trump. Heh.

Oh, yeah, and Donald Trump is supposed to announce his VP pick later this week. That should get lots of coverage, too, you bet.

[ Associated Press / Daily Beast / Mediaite ]