So Trump Seized A Venezuelan Oil Tanker?
Just some sparkling privateering!
Excuse me, what in the Somali pirate?! Donald John Trump, commander in chief of these United States, claimed on Wednesday that the US Coast Guard has seized a Venezuelan oil tanker. And the US is going to keep the oil! And he’ll do it again!
Was the oil tanker full of liquefied fentanyl it was coming to squirt on the US? No! Was it engaging in hostilities? No again. It was full of oil from PDVSA, Venezuela’s state-owned facilities, chugging between Venezuela and Cuba, reportedly en route to Asian oil brokers. Seems Trump has now forgotten all about that fake “fentanyl” pretense now.
It sounds like legit privateering and not piracy though. The ship called the Skipper had been sanctioned for moving Iranian oil, and a federal judge had approved a warrant for its seizure a few weeks ago. Joe Biden also seized a tanker, in 2023. But a big difference is that that one was actually full of Iranian oil. And this one is full of Venezuelan oil. So why does the US get to seize all the oil too? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Anyway, Pam Bondi posted video on X.
The oil boat maybe went to Iran before, so this is just fine? And an unnamed official claimed to the New York Times that the vessel was sailing under the flag of another Latin American nation in which it was not registered. If true, that is just like Russia has allegedly done at least 133 times that we know of to evade sanctions! But Trump would never dare. What has Trump ever gotten from NATO? Where is his Trump Tower Paris?
Watch his baloney hole, if you can stand it:
An interesting day, from the standpoint of news.
“As you probably know, we have just seized a tanker on the coast of Venezuela, a large tanker, very large, the largest one ever seized actually, and other things are happening.”
Trumptannia rules the waves!
He does not sound all there. And oh hey, are we ever going to get video of those bombing survivors getting murdered, like Trump said?
What about these Asian oil brokers, does he plan to pay them anything for bogarting their delivery? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
But Trump’s not taking the well-worn path America has usually taken to remove South American dictators! Coups and installing a puppet would be traditional, being much cheaper, faster and cleaner than murdering random innocent-until-proven-guilty people on tiny boats in international waters off of the coast (many who have turned out to not even be Venezuelan at all) in hopes that the dictator presidente will then step down out of sympathy, or something.
But seems Trump doesn’t just want a new partner at the top, he wants a different sort of package entirely, details TBD. He seems particularly focused on the seas, in addition to the oil that will be a “field day” for American companies, obviously. Venezuela may not be a significant source of drugs to America, but being at the tippy-top of South America, it is one of the busiest waypoints for cocaine and heroin in the world, and is one of the busiest container ports for other goods, too, including oil.
Money comes in, oil, opiates and heroin go out, that’s what running a port is all about! Why would Trump want a mere puppet, when he could occupy it all, and Venezuela will pay for it? Throw in collecting a toll at the Panama Canal, and Trump and friends like BlackRock could do grifts the likes of which the world has never seen, from most of the ship traffic in the hemisphere!
But why won’t these unnamed White House sources specify what the plan is for after deposing Nicolás Maduro? A new election? Edmundo González, the apparent winner of the 2024 vote, returning from exile in Spain? Maybe Congress should try harder to find out. That vote on War Powers would be nice, too.
Meanwhile, Americans are not fucking interested in whatever Trump’s got going on. In a CBS/YouGov poll a few weeks ago, only one in five had even heard that there was a military buildup in the first place. (These voters today, with their TikToks and their algorithms!) Once informed, two-thirds of Republicans said Trump needs to explain his actions. Independents were especially pissed, with 86 percent demanding an explanation. And 70 percent of all respondents opposed any kind of military action down there.
What next in the old man’s all-to-real reality gameshow? Stay tuned, it’s sure to be full of more surprises!
[New York Times gift link / NPR / The Guardian / Reuters]
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Trump seized the tanker because it was full of fentanoil.
Hubby, who's specialty is maritime law, had QUITE a bit to say about international law and Republican piracy this morning.
https://bsky.app/profile/philoof.bsky.social/post/3m7o7jnhges25