144 Comments

Can Allah make a rock so big he can't lift it? Circle Yes or No, then proceed to hell, infidel!

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I answered it by setting the application on fire and waving it around the DMV while screaming "infidel!" at everyone. Got bumped to the front of the line.

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Dubya was actually turned down for Al Qaeda because he misspelled everything on his application, signed with a crayon "X" and thought that question mark and exclamation point were letters...

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do you like movies about gladiators?

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In this case "Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?" could be quite relevant.

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Nabil Na’eem, the founder of the Islamic Democratic Jihad Party and former top al-Qaeda commander, told the Beirut-based pan-Arab TV station al-Maydeen all current al-Qaeda affiliates, including ISIS, work for the CIA.

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I would probably let the muthaf@*&er burn.

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"Into the mud, Scum Queen!"

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Well.It's more thorough than the qualifications to support the gop: "Do you hate enough to consistently vote for someone who will fuck you over until you are poor, destitute and will have to sell your remains to pay for your disposal when you die? If you said yes, you're in!"

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I went to apply but had to leave when they caught me chewing gum in line and I did not have enough to share.

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Thanks! That sounds good. Plus, my wife loves indian cooking, and I like making her want to keep me around.

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People forget how funny and revolutionary Carl Reiner actually is. Have you ever read/heard his book, MMMMM? He does a rewrite of genesis that is so funny and spot on.

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"Charming. Sign right here."https://www.youtube.com/wat...

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Cardinal Fang, fetch the comfy chair!

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...we think of all of our associates as "Martyr's" in training.

#FixedIt

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