Some Newspaper: Jerry Hall And Rupert Murdoch Totally Doing It. Sorry About Your Breakfast

Six of one ...

The Telegraph news-paper of Jollye Olde Englande has some items of interest to pique your gag reflex: According to "reports" and "some people" and "other citations that oddly do not exist," sexy ladies man Rupert Murdoch is totally sticking it to OG supermodel, ultimate Texan, and former Mick Jagger bangee Jerry Hall.

Let us examine it, and our stomach contents, together!

The Telegraph's journalistic tour de force, "Rupert Murdoch and Jerry Hall 'romantically involved'" begins thrillingly:

Rupert Murdoch is in a ‘romantic relationship’ with Mick Jagger’s former girlfriend Jerry Hall, it has been reported.

First, ew. Second, OW MY ESOPHAGUS! WHICH IS BURNING FROM ALL THE ACID THAT USED TO LIVE IN MY STOMACH! How do those nice bulimic girls do it?

But who's reporting it and where? Eh, doesn't matter, according to the Telegraph.

He "is said" to have been introduced to her by some people. It "is suggested" they will appear as a couple at some thing called "rugby." His ex-wife of the powerful right hook "is alleged" to have rubbed her gina all over Tony Blair. Jerry Hall is a woman "who's" "'marriage'" to Mick Jagger was annulled. And finally:

As news of their relationship broke, afriend of the pair was reportedto have said: "Theycould bethe perfect couple."

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My goodness, we may need the Hitchhiker's Guide verb-grammar book to decode all the conditional subjunctivey thingies there are in the Telegraph'sreportingrewriting of a Mail on Sunday "report," which is cited but not linked to in paragraph 13 of 15 total.

And here we thought the Daily Mail was the worst of the Fleet Street lads what are bad at journalism. We hear Piers Morgan could use some work; maybe he could help the Telegraph boys hack Jerry Hall's voicemail.

[ Telegraph ]