481 Comments
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Antifa Commander's avatar

we have great canines

How very incisive, Kash.

Georgiaburning's avatar

The FBI wants to hire more fraternity guys from agricultural colleges? Or planning some unusual entertainment for Kash?

House0fTheBlueLights's avatar

Best take I've read:

madeline odent (@oldenoughtosay.com)

okay my personal take on the FBI bestiality thing is that someone is their digital investigation team is a furry and this came out but was not Understood so they panicked and here we are. that’s genuinely what I think most likely

https://bsky.app/profile/oldenoughtosay.com/post/3mvne4vgvxc2k

Christopher Bosch's avatar

Honest, he just slipped and fell is all!

Tia Loca's avatar

“ why won’t these lampreys

stop sucking my dick?”

Georgiaburning's avatar

So THAT is what happened to Elon. Ouch.

Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

Okay, let's get serious here.

My career as an amateur doctor enables me to diagnose Kash as one of those rare men who has an overactive thyroid and is suffering from Graves Disease. He displays many obvious symptoms even though GD is much more common in females.

Here, have a peek at what the unreliable Mayo Clinic has to say about GD: https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/graves-disease/symptoms-causes/syc-20356240

His maniacal party animal display with the hockey team, his queening out in committee meetings, the generalized mania he constantly displays....all of it can be caused by GD.

So he's perfect for a job where he rubs shoulders with people whose brains are half eaten by worms and a boss with one foot in the grave.

pstokk's avatar

Somewhere, Efrem Zimbalist, Jr. is rolling in his grave.

R. Riddle's avatar

This is not the sequel to "Once Upon a Time in Hollywood" I was looking for.

Notorious J.I.M.'s avatar

It would be amusing if this issue resulted in some new Far Side content.

Rooster Cogburn's avatar

“Men Who Love Sheep and Women Who Won’t Wear Wool “

Teen Laqueefa's avatar

Just thought of this and have no idea how to use it:

Kash Cow.

New post BTW

TerseNurse's avatar

Kash Patel sleeps with the fishes.

Wookiee Monster's avatar

The Deep is jealous.

Rooster Cogburn's avatar

With both eyes open

Craig Nixon's avatar

Now we're just floundering around.

Tia Loca's avatar

He’s not even koi about it

TerseNurse's avatar

whar gallbladder??

Craig Nixon's avatar

Took the words right offa my fingers.

Tia Loca's avatar

He went to go get more coffee

And check on Steve

Toomush Expectashuns's avatar

"Okay, but not the Irish!"...

William Bouxsein's avatar

Yes, without a doubt.

Bruce's avatar

Imma going out on a limb here and say "haven't stolen from your employer in the last three years" is like 3 orders of magnitude WTAF bigger than "fucked a sheep when I was 18", but Evil Foghorn Leghorn sure as hell made sure the 'fucked a sheep' is all people are noticing.

Donald Laporte's avatar

In another hearing regarding the school book bans he read aloud into the congressional record passages describing explicit gay blow jobs and anal. The guy has some kink.

Bruce's avatar

And he sure as hell made it seem like all the banned books were like that, didn't he. He's not stupid, just evil

Aquaman, Real Estate Investor.'s avatar

If they were smarter I'd be concerned they changed the bestiality rule to distract from the other rule changes.

But you're not wrong.

Oy!'s avatar

Not to be all 'shazam' . . . but is there really *that* much bestiality going on?

AND the practitioners are applying to be FBI agents?

Wookiee Monster's avatar

If this was about people being coerced, he could have just said that people are exempt if they were coerced into sex trafficking or sex exploitation without making reference to specific acts like bestiality. The fact that Kash’s new policy specifically mentions “engaged in bestiality” without any reference to coercion is a tell.

And I’m still convinced he fucked a goat in high school.

Rooster Cogburn's avatar

But did he take her to Prom?

Wookiee Monster's avatar

She turned him down.

Toomush Expectashuns's avatar

I'm wondering about him being fucked by a goat in high school...

tehbaddr's avatar

My money is on letting the goat fuck him.

Toomush Expectashuns's avatar

oh, you just beat me. Points to you! (where are those godamm P points, anyway?...)

tehbaddr's avatar

I miss my P-ness!