Some Woke-A** Sh*t. Tabs, Thurs., May 8, 2025
Morning news roundup and things to read!
What are we reading this morning? Some tabs!
Rumeysa Ozturk, who is in our country legally, has now been in ICE jail for six weeks for writing an op-ed for her college newspaper. Some flagrantly pissed judges have given Trump a week to send her to Vermont from Louisiana and then ??? (Ruling)
Who is to blame for our terrible trade deficit where we use money to buy things we want from other countries? Perhaps you have noticed it is not little boys, but only little girls. (Amanda Marcotte at Salon)
Man the ‘70s was some woke-ass shit :)
Charlotte Clymer is a conclave nerd. Here’s the pope picking process. (Clymer)
Sure, yes, absolutely. One America News (OAN) to do the news for Voice of America. Because everyone else is propaganda. (NPR)
World Central Kitchen, the last running bakery in Gaza, has run out of supplies, which have been sitting at the border since March. It has stopped cooking food. Israel is not letting in any more. This is a war crime. (WCK)
Should students “write” their essays using their brains, or should they use the robot? HMMMM. (New York mag)
Dude who ordered up “Fuck the Jews” sign with his bottle service so mad that the one lady got $700,000 (last we looked) and all he got offered was an educational trip to Auschwitz. Well now he knows who the real victim is (him) and who the real perpetrator was (Dave Portnoy from Barstool Sports, for talking about it). My favorite is the magnificent passive voice of “an incident occurred” in dude’s retelling. *Shakes fist* Cancel cultuuuuure! (Fox 29)
Gosh, it seems like Boston’s Liberty Hotel was lying about the cis female woman lesbian couple they threw out of the bathroom (as well as the hotel’s Kentucky Derby party) because one of the women was too tall and had short hair and probably wasn’t even wearing makeup. But they’ve concluded their investigation, apologized, “suspended” the security guard who demanded “proof” of gender in the name of protecting women (we guess she was able to show an ID instead of her vag), and may even not be shitty next time! We also guess that next time a trans man is forced by law to use a women’s room, the same women who were crying about a “man” (female woman) in the women’s room will be even less happy about it. (Boston)
Jaye Saxena won a James Beard Award for writing about food that makes you gay. DON’T ENJOY IT! (Eater)
“The following winter, South Dakota found itself in the middle of a national debate about health care for transgender minors. But as national press descended upon the capitol, lawmakers were greeted by the sight of two horseback riders with a transgender pride flag. The Oglala Lakota Sioux Tribe and others from across the state had shown up en masse to oppose the bill.” Oh you guys. (19th News)
Seems like Texans are pretty sick of those nasty hateful creeps on the school boards. They got trounced last Saturday across the state. (Texas Tribune)
Meth is a hell of a drug. (The Sun)
Mother’s Day already? Your mom needs an IMPEACH hat and she needs it bad. (WILL FOR SURE NOT GET THERE BY MOTHER’S DAY.)
Wonkalonks! Your pal Suzy Greenberg has seized the means of Wonkmeet production! Save the Date! Sat., June 7, she’s hosting a Wonkmeet at Camp Plymouth State Park, 2008 Scout Camp Rd, Ludlow, Vermont! She’s rented the Wedding Grove Pavillion and is thinking 1-5 p.m. $5 for adults to get into the park. Parking and restrooms nearby. Stay tuned and spread the word.
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Re Amanda Marcott’s article about tapping into female resentment to justify tariffs…
——
Reframe the sentiment as “you only need two video games” and see how quickly the white American male gets involved in politics.
https://bsky.app/profile/baddestmamajama.bsky.social/post/3lona4ojnh22b