491 Comments

Patsy did it better.....

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Back ordered.

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I wonder if the raspberries I left behind in Maine are still producing. Damn they were good

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Who are these ‘we’ who’d have ‘still been hiding in our basements’, Paleface? (p.s. looks like your make up artist quit...oh, right - that was Hopey). You live in Palm Beach. If you had a fucking basement, those feckless wedding guests would have (happily, in service to you) drowned.

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And furthermore, boo-hoo.

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"Killed by Lockdowns" is the name of my new punk bluegrass string quartet.

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"EHN!!"

(ball plops on ground three feet away)

"Didja see that? It went right over the plate! The ump came to me with tears in his eyes and congratulated me on Best Pitch Ever!"

(Umpire: wat)

"Special boy! Special boy! Two scoops! Special boy! Special special special!!"

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I knew right from the get go that the mask thing was because Americans are such assholes that they not only would have hoarded the masks they would have tried to sell them to healthcare workers for $100 for each masks...we are fucking assholes. Just look at the toilet paper stupidity...and that was just one of the things that was hard to get at the beginning of the panic pandemic.

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No...it was that fucking Jared and his idiot college frat boy friends who screwed the monkey on that...and it was all to genocide poor/POC/old people who are takers and no longer “contribute” to the economy. The dream of the .1% is that when you can no longer work that you die. They want child labor back and they don’t want to have to do anything for the public good. They would love to live in compounds far away from the teeming masses. Those dystopian books/movies that have the wealthy living in the clouds while the rest toil in mines is EXACTLY what they really want.

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He "inspected" (translation: hid inside) a bunker because he thought Those People were coming for him, so he had to make up an alternate reality in which everyone else hid in their bunkers, for reasons, quavering with fear and wallowing in their own urine. Not him! No, never ever!

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And the real reason why it's so bad that we're still all locked in Dr. Fauci's basement, forever, is because China is coming in. See, if you're not out drinking in bars, China will come in. Which they're doing, and they're killing us. Trump tried to keep China from coming in, but Fauci wouldn't let him. Fauci locked everyone up so China could come in, but the so-called expert little Fauci can't make a vaccine for shit, that was all Trump.

Jebus, I think he's sincere, and so are the glue-huffers who voted for him. He's so devoid of self-awareness, he actually felt an emotional need to insult those doctors, or worse, "defend his brand". His finances and freedom are about to be hit, and these are his insecurities. People might not want to go to his luxury resort hotels if he's weak and doesn't taunt the little doctor back. Jebus.

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Florida man says what?

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Evan, thank you so much for referring to this/not giving it legs. It's the best possible way to remind the world that a) this person is an oik and b) it continues to belch lies when it's been discredited in every conceivable manner. Dog bless you and Wonkette!

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There is actually a new-ish novel titled "Florida Man" that's not bad! I don't usually read fiction but it was kind of an absurdist romp, midway through you start wondering, "Did I take the magic mushrooms?" Also Stephen King's slim Hard Case Crime title, "Later," is brilliant. I'm a bookseller, can't help it :)

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They were the biggest tears ever.

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People who are not prescribed adderall, should NEVER take adderall. REALLY. It would be better to stick with la coca, not kidding. That said, Dump was irremediable from the moment he squalled into the world. Mary Trump's excellent book doesn't unearth the half of it :((

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