Sorry, FEMA Can't Come To The Phone Right Now. Tabs, Thurs., Sept. 25, 2025

Please hang up and try again. Morning news roundup and things to read!

Tabs gif by your friend Martini Glambassador!

While we’re waiting for more info about the “ANTI ICE” shooting (Axios), here’s a story from a week ago that didn’t get a lick of coverage, where a young man killed three police officers. Was there no coverage because it was just another dude stalking his ex? Maybe yeah. (PBS)

Disney insiders told Marisa Kabas over a million people had canceled their subscriptions before they had their “thoughtful talks” to reinstate Jimmy Kimmel. That’s presumably about $250 million a year. (The Handbasket)

Trump’s government shutdown, coming right up! (The American Prospect)

The stupidest speech in UN history! How much time did he spend on bitching that he didn’t get the UN rebuilding contract? Some time! (Bill McKibben) And then there was the time he almost got MURDERED by an escalator TURNING INTO STAIRS. (Tiedrich)

You know what? Fine. They did it! They got a rise out of me with their shitty, terrible, disgusting disrespect. They win!

Yes, there’s a lot going on in the world, but we should probably be making a lot more out of Trump’s murder-strikes on MAYBE drug smugglers (very very far away from the United States) and maybe just some fishermen. OH AND ALSO: Are we going to war with Venezuela? Seems like we might want to start paying attention to that! (Public Notice)

States will absolutely start charging women for endangering their unborn children, for using the only pain reliever that is actually safe for pregnancy. Mark it. (Abortion, Every Day) And now Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s Department of Health and Human Services is “reviewing” the abortion pill. (Abortion, Every Day again) These people are fucking exhausting. (Mother Jones)

Karen Attiah suing the Washington Post for firing her for quoting Charlie Kirk. GIT EM. (Qasim Rashid)

Teachers’ real wages have declined by five percent since 1996; other college graduates’ salaries have increased by 30 percent. The answer obviously is to stop requiring a college degree, and then we can just compare their salaries to plumbers and electricians. Wait. (EPI)

Fuck Kristi Noem for shooting FEMA like it’s her dog. How literally dare she. Also, and pertinently: Should the FEMA director have a “I won’t answer my cell phone after hours” policy? Because that seems bad. (Gift link Washington Post)

Clean electricity, for less? Thank you, Democrats! I accept! (Heatmap)

Literally never realized this was Robert Redford. (EW)

---

Thank you for being Wonkette’s friend! We have no paywall ever and no ads. We’re brought to you by people like you! The button below will let you donate one time or monthly, in any amount of your choosing.

Do you prefer Venmo? Here’s a button you will like.