639 Comments
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kmblue187's avatar

It keeps you running, oh, it keeps you running

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Pere Ubu's avatar

"MOM! MOM! LOOK! LOOK AT ME RUN! HOW ABOUT THAT? I'M SO FAST! MOM! LOOK! FASTEST TAPIR EVER!"

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Nae Kings!'s avatar

I am a retired zookeeper. When new acquaintances discover this they often ask me what was my favorite animal to work with. Tapir is my immediate answer. Nine times out of ten they have no idea what they are. Our Malayan pair, Jambi and Rocan, were never blessed with a little watermelon of their own. Rocan suffered from the uterine fibroids from hell and never conceived, but the adults were magical creatures in their own right. Rest in power Jambi and RoRo.

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OneYieldRegular's avatar

Tapir without torpor

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Ellie Alive In 25's avatar

They are so cute when they are babies. Males...not so cute in adulthood. I always thought that was a shame, but maybe they are, to another tapir.

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Parakeetist's avatar

Cute cute cute

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Doktor Zoom's avatar

Tapir? I hardly know 'er!

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lordpnut's avatar

Nadir tapir humor. That's what I dig about this joint.

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Doktor Zoom's avatar

I still haven't forgiven all those Nadir voters for giving us GWB

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lordpnut's avatar

They're unsafe at any speed.

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Menotsure's avatar

Tapirs have odd toe counts

Four in front and three in back,

But when they get them going

They really do make tracks.

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Suzie Greenburg's avatar

Love the tapir!

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TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

WIRE TAPPS!

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tehbaddr's avatar

TABSpir!

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Shocktreatment's avatar

Little Nyawa!

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Linda1961 is woke and proud's avatar

Nyawa answers Billy Preston's question, "Will it run 'round in circles?" with a resounding "YES!"

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tehbaddr's avatar

But I do not think it will fly high up in the sky.

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eppe's avatar

Northern versus Southern Hemisphere? Does it make a difference to them?

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wavicles's avatar

"Let's go to the tape!"

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Diane's Less Hostile Username's avatar

Zoom babby!

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eppe's avatar

My first guess was "peccary". Shows you what I know.

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Hamilton & The Crew's avatar

Tapir!!

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eppe's avatar

Tapered too.

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Hamilton & The Crew's avatar

Tapirs know how to taper. They are not anything like Cybertrucks.

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beb's avatar

The thought of Trump having to climb an escalator like a common chump reminded of a recent photo of Joe and Jill Biden. He looked tan, and fit and good in shorts. I shudder to think of what the current inhabitant of the White House looks like in shorts, He recent visit to England showed pictures of him slack jawed, squint-eyes and with one side of his face drooping more than the other, This is not a well or healthy man.

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kmblue187's avatar

I was so relieved to have Biden as President. He dressed well, looked fit, and was aware of foreign protocol like not walking in front of the Queen, etc. He also didn't post stupid stuff every day on his own website.

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beb's avatar

The British press laid into Trump's babbling UN speech good and strong, but then they're not invested into American politics, Still, I wonder when the mainstream press in the US is going to start noticing that our only president is babbling on a daily basis.

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Cincinnatus's avatar

To be expected:

"Trump, speaking to reporters at the White House, said he hoped to redirect some of the revenue that the government has collected from tariffs and “give it to our farmers,” adding the plan would be to “make sure our farmers are in great shape.”" [NYT]

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kmblue187's avatar

During his U.N. speech, the Trumpster bitched about the escalator and the teleprompter, told other countries they were going to hell, bragged about the sales of his "Trump Was Right About Everything" hats and said "I WAS right about everything," stopped 7 wars (wha? WHAR AND WHAT WARS?) and was a total asshole in general. And I learned all this from MSNBC sound bites.

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

The UN restrooms must have taken a beating, because everyone who was in that room was shitting bricks.

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kmblue187's avatar

I had to look "nepo baby up." Means I'm not a nepo baby, dammit!

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Littorally Speaking's avatar

He’s *not* dead Jim:

https://www.tmz.com/2025/09/24/william-shatner-rushed-to-hospital/

(Sorry, couldn’t resist.)

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Littorally Speaking's avatar

RE: The autopen Brandon portrait, how about when it comes time for Shitler’s successor to post one of *him*, they put up something like this:

https://media.vanityfair.com/photos/687660a0c08452533e6134c3/master/w_2560%2Cc_limit/vf725-trump-epstein.png

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Major Kong's avatar

"After the disaster, Richardson told House lawmakers at a July subcommittee hearing on FEMA’s response that he had been in constant contact with administration and Texas officials from his truck while on vacation with his sons." On vacation? He had been appointed acting FEMA director on May 8. So he had been on the job for about a month. Yeah, time for vacation.

Oh, and about the killing of the police officers. I would guess that it didn't receive any coverage, at least not in FOX NEWS ALERT!!11! is that it took place in rural Pennsylvania. You know, wypipo.

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

I had to wait a year before I was allowed to have a vacation when I started my job.

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Karen Scofield's avatar

Gotta have my Tab's and Coffee in the Morning ☕💯👍

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RefillingThorsBeer's avatar

Disney insiders told Marisa Kabas over a million people had canceled their subscriptions before they had their “thoughtful talks” to reinstate Jimmy Kimmel. That’s presumably about $250 million a year.

HA HA HA HA HA.... FUCK YOU, DISNEY!!!!

sorry, I am still bitter that they stole Star Wars from me.

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

If its any consolation, part of the reason George Lucas sold the franchise was to find out exactly how valuable it was, and he gave all the Star Wars money to charity because he already had more money than he could ever spend.

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RefillingThorsBeer's avatar

Lucas is the finest sort of chap then.... another reason to love the Star Wars universe....

but the rotten bastards could have let them show Return of the Jedi or A New Hope on the regular television ONCE A DAMN YEAR like they used to.

greedy stupid mouse.

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dePizan's avatar

It might have been common knowledge, but I also hadn't realized that one of Ms Magazine's most iconic covers was also Robert Redford. https://msmagazine.com/2025/09/16/robert-redford-women-feminist-magazine/

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Rachael's avatar

He seems to have been just as lovely on the inside as he was on the outside.

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A Tad Impatient To 86 47's avatar

FYI:

The White House Reconstruction, also known as the Truman Reconstruction, was a comprehensive dismantling and rebuilding of the interior of the White House from 1949 to 1952. A century and a half of wartime destruction and rebuilding, hurried renovations, additions of new services, technologies, the added third floor and inadequate foundations brought the Executive Residence portion of the White House Complex to near-imminent collapse. (Wikipedia)

75 years? And huge changes it technology. Yeah, 2028 will be about time.

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Nemo's avatar

A similar "remodel" was required on the Downing Street townhouses in the late 1950s. The original buildings had been thrown up in the 1680s, with poor foundations on alluvial soil. That was done by sleazy real estate developer Sir George Downing, Harvard 1642. He also arrested John Okey, who had paid his way through Harvard. Okey was subsequently hanged, drawn and quartered for his role in the execution of Charles I .

Same old shit, only the flies have changed.

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Satanic Pancake's avatar

But first, they'll need to bring in a few exorcists, a shaman, and a crew that specializes in removing the stench of human feces from walls, floors, and ceilings.

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Satanic Pancake's avatar

I don't think a sage smudge alone is going to fix it.

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OneYieldRegular's avatar

Reading that FEMA story after having just finished watching some five+ hours of documentaries on Katrina was GAAAAH.

How in hell does that guy still have a job? How in hell does Kristi Noem still have a job? If I was a parent of one of those campers, I'd be incandescent with rage. Hell, I'm incandescent with rage for them.

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Anzu's avatar

24 hours after being discharged by the hospital, and I feel almost normal. The only thing that still felt off was a wee bit of tenderness where the gall bladder sits, and a caffeine headache since I didn't have any caffeine yesterday. I still took today off (sorry, coworkers) but I'm treating it more like a mental health day - gave myself a luxurious full manicure this morning, and I'll go get a hair cut and a pedicure next up.

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Cincinnatus's avatar

NYT:

"A senior Justice Department official has instructed more than a half dozen U.S. attorney’s offices to draft plans to investigate a group funded by George Soros, the billionaire Democratic donor whom President Trump has demanded be thrown in jail.

The official’s directive, a copy of which was viewed by The New York Times, suggests department leaders are following orders from the president that specific people or groups be subject to criminal investigation — a major break from decades of past practice meant to insulate the Justice Department from political interference.

On Monday, a lawyer in the office of the deputy attorney general, Todd Blanche, issued the directive to U.S. attorney’s offices in California, New York, Washington, D.C., Chicago, Detroit and Maryland, among others. The lawyer, Aakash Singh, who is responsible for communicating with federal prosecutors around the country, suggested a wide range of charges for prosecutors to consider against the Open Society Foundations. Possible charges included racketeering, arson, wire fraud and material support for terrorism, according to a copy of the directive.

As evidence for such investigations, Mr. Singh pointed to a recent report by a conservative watchdog group known as the Capital Research Center, which monitors liberal money in politics. He asked the prosecutors to determine if the allegations were enough to justify opening criminal cases, adding that they should be prepared to submit their investigative plans soon."

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Pere Ubu's avatar

"As evidence for such investigations, Mr. Singh played the Alex Jones Show..."

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