Sorry The Rapture Didn't Happen Yesterday! (Or Did It?)
Maybe you are reading this WHILE being vacuumed up into heaven?
Happy weekend!
If you were paying attention to social media at all yesterday, then you probably know that the rapture was supposed to happen yesterday and it didn’t. Probably a lot of people are disappointed that they didn’t get vacuumed up into heaven, or because those they don’t especially care for didn’t get vacuumed up into heaven.
This, I believe, is the 70 billionth rapture/apocalypse that didn’t happen. Surely, they’ll get it right someday.
In commemoration of the 70 billionth apocalypse, your present this week is a video of a Jack Chick comic that lives rent free inside my brain.
The part I think about constantly is this part where all of the bad post-Rapture people are going around beheading the good post-Rapture people who refuse to say they hate Jesus, so that those people then have a chance to get into heaven afterwards. Because “martyrdom is now the price of salvation.”
Personally, I find this to be an incredible imposition. I faint at the sight of blood, am relatively lazy and don’t actually care what people believe so long as they’re not bothering anyone, so I really, really don’t want to have to drive a guillotine-mobile around beheading people so they can get into heaven. That’s rude. If they want their heads chopped off, they can do that themselves.
Again, I don’t care what people believe so long as they are not bothering me about it, and this bothers me. It is an inconvenience. Don’t they think I have better things to do? That we all, perhaps, have better things to do?
It’s like with the Satanic cults they’re so obsessed with that don’t really exist the way they think they exist. I have zero interest in eating a baby. I wouldn’t even eat a boar taco (or something to that effect) recently because I am a recovering picky eater and it is a bridge too far for me. I also do not believe in Satan. If Christians want people to believe in Satan and eat babies, they can also do that themselves. Though they will end up in prison for doing that, because contrary to Republican opinion it is definitely illegal to kill newborn babies, whether you eat them or not.
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Talk amongst yourselves for now!
I'm partial to the occasional baby back rib.
Not too keen on vegan baby buttholes though.
I had an interesting experience last night. I went out to eat and a movie with a friend of mine who lives at my same apt complex. Like me. She's single and childfree, and has family members who vehemently object to a woman opting out of things like that.
So, apparently she has a toxic family member that she's just been trying to grey rock since they won't leave her alone about just the pettiest shit imaginable. This jerk decided to call the apt mgnt for a welfare check and the mgnt called the cops. So we arrive back from dinner right about the time the cops pull up. It's a long drawn out story but suffice it say both the cops and the mgnt were being real assholes about everything. They were demanding to see our IDs before we even got to her door. They were barking orders and questions at us like we were two randos who just decided to roll up and start shit. We're both little old ladies, I'm 60 and she's 62 and we both look our age. The apt mgrs were being shitty even though I've lived there 7 years and she's lived there nearly ten yrs.
It was just insane and stressful because the mgrs and the 3 cops were all really belligerent and combative to us both for no apparent reason. We hadn't been drinking or anything like that but big deal if we had been. We cooperated fully but they were just assholes. I feel like I now know first hand why people say ACAB.