I *love* Chick tracts and I collect them. They are so ridiculously literal and linear. And Revelation is in no way linear. You can't make a timeline out of it.
If you haven't seen it I recommend to your attention the hilarious series of articles on Patheos blog by one Fred Clark vivisecting the execrable Left Behind books often line by line in particularly target rich portions. Some of the funniest stuff I've ever seen. It's a few years old but still accessible and well worth your time to hunt up.
A couple of years ago, I was walking by the break room and noticed something laying on the bench. It was a bona fide actual real life Chick Tract.... it was like finding a unicorn flying a space ship...
I am guessing one of our guest security guards left it there.
The only rapture I go for is the one described in a historical letter from the famous astronomer Sir Sidney Fudd, read on Firesign's "I think we're all bozos on this bus" --
"On receiving your excellent porcelain astrolabe, and aligning it upon the celestial doggy, I was SEIZED by a a TRANSPORT, of SCIENTIFIC RAPTURE! ... "
If all it took was a hat to trick the faithful, they would have banned hats. And TBH, that guy there running away seems to be well-fed. I assume that this is way after the Mark was handed out too, who was feeding him?
So I just checked, and it doesn’t say a gawdamn (SWIDT?) thing about “drugs, raping, sodomizing and looting” in either the Book of Revelation or Luke, but maybe the christo-fascists are referring to a bible other than the King James version ... ? 🙄
If I had the energy I would research how many predicted rapure/end of days/Armageddons have come and gone during my 60 years on this planet, but I know it's many. Many. You'd think the oh--so-confident predictors would melt into a puddle of embarrassment, die of cringe, go hide in the woods - but no. And their followers keep following, showing no sign of either self awareness or embarrassment. Yet here I am. Embarrassed for them 🫣
Not to mention that Jesus specifically said that NO ONE would know the time of His Second Coming. Mathew chapter 24, the whole thing's a banger.
And Matt:23 says a number of things about people who are so concerned with the minutia of keeping religious law that they ignore the basic principles. Wonder why we never hear that quoted.
Most self-identified "Christians" seem to be deaf on one side when it comes to inconvenient bits of their Holy Book, picking and choosing even if they claim loud and proud to be literalists who believe every last word.
There were news stories many years ago about a business called Earthbound Pets which hired atheists who would adopt dogs and cats of raptured people. I gather it was a joke though.
WHAT kind of person would consider Heaven worth going to if separated from their dog?
I only made it about halfway through the Chick Tract. I thought it was going to be animated, not an audiotract by the most boring voice I've ever heard. Was that an AI-generated reader?
As a recovering Baptist, I made it 15 seconds in and had to stop due to the threat of an impending anxiety attack. At 17, I figured out the church hierarchy was riddled with hypocrisy and made my break. Certainly made launching my life as a gay man much smoother. But I remember the 'tract du jour' from way back when (The Seven Spiritual Laws), and how thoroughly offensive I found the concept of forcing religion on the unsuspecting. Fucking god-botherers.
Either religious prophets are really bad at predicting the end of days, or religion is completely unreliable. I can only imagine how much better off we’d all be if everyone were atheists who didn’t count on an afterlife and respected how precious and brief each of our lives are. How many wars, how many millions of lives throughout history were destroyed because people insisted their religion or their god was the right one?
I *love* Chick tracts and I collect them. They are so ridiculously literal and linear. And Revelation is in no way linear. You can't make a timeline out of it.
If you haven't seen it I recommend to your attention the hilarious series of articles on Patheos blog by one Fred Clark vivisecting the execrable Left Behind books often line by line in particularly target rich portions. Some of the funniest stuff I've ever seen. It's a few years old but still accessible and well worth your time to hunt up.
A couple of years ago, I was walking by the break room and noticed something laying on the bench. It was a bona fide actual real life Chick Tract.... it was like finding a unicorn flying a space ship...
I am guessing one of our guest security guards left it there.
"I wouldn’t even eat a boar taco (or something to that effect) recently because I am a recovering picky eater and it is a bridge too far for me."
It should be fine. Boar is just a wild pig, so it's almost identical to pork, but tends to be more lean.
and darker meat. a lot darker. and also gamier, oddly enough.
Someone kicked me in the 'nads yesterday, but I thought that was called The Rupture.
Here on the East Coast the rapture had to be postponed because of weather.
The only rapture I go for is the one described in a historical letter from the famous astronomer Sir Sidney Fudd, read on Firesign's "I think we're all bozos on this bus" --
"On receiving your excellent porcelain astrolabe, and aligning it upon the celestial doggy, I was SEIZED by a a TRANSPORT, of SCIENTIFIC RAPTURE! ... "
devilishly clever … Fudd’s 1st law of opposition, testicles deviant … if you push something hard enough it will fall over …
I was really tired (probably side effects of a flu shot) so I went to bed early, like 9:00ish. As much rapture as we get around here.
The rapture totally just happened. Look around; see who's still here. Oops.
These guys owe Dyson and Hoover a fortune.
If all it took was a hat to trick the faithful, they would have banned hats. And TBH, that guy there running away seems to be well-fed. I assume that this is way after the Mark was handed out too, who was feeding him?
Totally O/T, but that quilt or material is GORGEOUS.
So is the kitteh.
So I just checked, and it doesn’t say a gawdamn (SWIDT?) thing about “drugs, raping, sodomizing and looting” in either the Book of Revelation or Luke, but maybe the christo-fascists are referring to a bible other than the King James version ... ? 🙄
That's because you don't have Gawd whispering in your ear to let you read between the lines to see what's really there.
If I had the energy I would research how many predicted rapure/end of days/Armageddons have come and gone during my 60 years on this planet, but I know it's many. Many. You'd think the oh--so-confident predictors would melt into a puddle of embarrassment, die of cringe, go hide in the woods - but no. And their followers keep following, showing no sign of either self awareness or embarrassment. Yet here I am. Embarrassed for them 🫣
Not to mention that Jesus specifically said that NO ONE would know the time of His Second Coming. Mathew chapter 24, the whole thing's a banger.
And Matt:23 says a number of things about people who are so concerned with the minutia of keeping religious law that they ignore the basic principles. Wonder why we never hear that quoted.
Most self-identified "Christians" seem to be deaf on one side when it comes to inconvenient bits of their Holy Book, picking and choosing even if they claim loud and proud to be literalists who believe every last word.
The first one I know of happened in the year 1000 AD. And it's been happening ever since.
http://archive.wilsonquarterly.com/book-reviews/last-apocalypse-europe-year-1000-ad
If the rapture had happened, I'd not be seeing these grifting opionioneers everywhere still.
I guess I don't know any good people, because everyone I know is present and accounted for.
I'd have liked to get $$$ from them to take care of their pets/ animals first, tho.
There were news stories many years ago about a business called Earthbound Pets which hired atheists who would adopt dogs and cats of raptured people. I gather it was a joke though.
WHAT kind of person would consider Heaven worth going to if separated from their dog?
I only made it about halfway through the Chick Tract. I thought it was going to be animated, not an audiotract by the most boring voice I've ever heard. Was that an AI-generated reader?
As a recovering Baptist, I made it 15 seconds in and had to stop due to the threat of an impending anxiety attack. At 17, I figured out the church hierarchy was riddled with hypocrisy and made my break. Certainly made launching my life as a gay man much smoother. But I remember the 'tract du jour' from way back when (The Seven Spiritual Laws), and how thoroughly offensive I found the concept of forcing religion on the unsuspecting. Fucking god-botherers.
That was the voice of God, you Philistine😵
Either religious prophets are really bad at predicting the end of days, or religion is completely unreliable. I can only imagine how much better off we’d all be if everyone were atheists who didn’t count on an afterlife and respected how precious and brief each of our lives are. How many wars, how many millions of lives throughout history were destroyed because people insisted their religion or their god was the right one?