We can all learn from Steven Seagal, American hero, who just keeps giving and giving and giving and then when you think he can't give any more, BOOM, there he is, magnanimously creating jobs for female Russian masseuses , and then POW, don't look now, but there goes Steven Seagal,
Segal is a Hudspeth County deputy? Well la-de-fucking da. Hudspeth County sherriff's a big slice of a I-10 West Texas shit hole that likes busting tour buses with celebrities for carrying small amounts of marijuana. So far they have busted Nelly, Fiona Apple and Willie Nelson. The county judge was so excited about Willie Nelson's arrest that he would drop the charges if he put on a free concert.
True story, re-posted from my amazon review, since: important. I'm not sure what I was doing to set off his Zen psychic powers, but I got pulled over by Officer Seagal once. I was coming back from Hong Kong market on the westbank with several small Banh-Mi sandwiches and groceries and some Asian sweets. Running toward the car with what appeared to be a severe purpose, he started yelling "Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! STEP OUT OF THE CAR, YO?!" and things like that. So I get out, and before my heel can even touch the ground I find myself in an ankle lock with him screaming at me about compliance. Several excruciating moments later, he gets this thousand yard stare looking at my car and sniffing the car uncontrollably as he pat me down. He put his hands together and bowed the way Japanese do in more formal moments, and said "Yo, Im' gonna hafta search the car, yo?" I had six Peking ducks in the backseat, and he said I was "way over the limit" as he started chowing down on my chicken liver Banh-mi. He gave one of the ducks to Colonel Fortunato who proceeded to swallow it whole, feet first. For the next half hour they just kept eating all my food and high fiving each other, right there on Gen. Degaulle Dr! Then he turned to me, jiggling his cheeks as he shook his head and said "mmmpph well das enoughmpph you kin gompph" I went home with a car full of crumbs but I swear to God, I'm lucky to be alive!
When's the driving tanks through walls class? That's a skill I'd like to learn, just in case it ever comes up in my daily life. Maybe when I happen to come across a tank parked outside Steven Seagal's house, for example.
This reminds me of when Alan Alda was guest surgeon at the Mayo Clinic. The surviving patients were thrilled that a celebrity had actually touched their liver.
It's only fair that in America violent mobs would be taught by a movie actor.
Ted Nugent's underwear
Segal is a Hudspeth County deputy? Well la-de-fucking da. Hudspeth County sherriff's a big slice of a I-10 West Texas shit hole that likes busting tour buses with celebrities for carrying small amounts of marijuana. So far they have busted Nelly, Fiona Apple and Willie Nelson. The county judge was so excited about Willie Nelson's arrest that he would drop the charges if he put on a free concert.
True story, re-posted from my amazon review, since: important. I'm not sure what I was doing to set off his Zen psychic powers, but I got pulled over by Officer Seagal once. I was coming back from Hong Kong market on the westbank with several small Banh-Mi sandwiches and groceries and some Asian sweets. Running toward the car with what appeared to be a severe purpose, he started yelling "Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! STEP OUT OF THE CAR, YO?!" and things like that. So I get out, and before my heel can even touch the ground I find myself in an ankle lock with him screaming at me about compliance. Several excruciating moments later, he gets this thousand yard stare looking at my car and sniffing the car uncontrollably as he pat me down. He put his hands together and bowed the way Japanese do in more formal moments, and said "Yo, Im' gonna hafta search the car, yo?" I had six Peking ducks in the backseat, and he said I was "way over the limit" as he started chowing down on my chicken liver Banh-mi. He gave one of the ducks to Colonel Fortunato who proceeded to swallow it whole, feet first. For the next half hour they just kept eating all my food and high fiving each other, right there on Gen. Degaulle Dr! Then he turned to me, jiggling his cheeks as he shook his head and said "mmmpph well das enoughmpph you kin gompph" I went home with a car full of crumbs but I swear to God, I'm lucky to be alive!
When's the driving tanks through walls class? That's a skill I'd like to learn, just in case it ever comes up in my daily life. Maybe when I happen to come across a tank parked outside Steven Seagal's house, for example.
You mean, <em>apart</em> from join the Hitler Youth and cover up child molestation by clergy under his command?
And there I thought transvestisism was frowned upon in Victorian times...
Seagal got famous making the kind of violent movies the NRA blames for people shooting kids. But Arizona is an irony-free zone so no one notices.
This reminds me of when Alan Alda was guest surgeon at the Mayo Clinic. The surviving patients were thrilled that a celebrity had actually touched their liver.